The Bed Sitting Room (1969)
Nigel: I hear the Pope's allowing contraceptives for all occasions, except during sexual intercourse.
Inspector: [part of long, mock Churchillian speech] ... the lion shall lie down with the lamb, the goat shall give suck to the tiny bee...
Mate: And in come the three bears. The Daddy Bear said, "Who's been sleeping in my porridge?" - and the mummy bear said, "that's no porridge, that was my wife!"
Penelope: British? What a lot of use that is - we don't even know who's won the war!
Sergeant: [at various points in film, shouting out of police car] Keep moving!
Mother: [On being shown her own death certificate by the nurse] Well, you can't argue with it. I thought I was alive, but there it is in black and white... Do I lie down or something?
Father: I always knew my inside leg would lead to power.
Bules Martin: My advice, charge twenty quid rent, be mindful of drafts...
Sergeant: Remember you're the electricity man for the whole nation.
The BBC: I am the BBC as you can see, and here was the last news.
Lord Fortnum of Alamein: [His top hat has a miniature radar on top] I tell you, it's the latest early warning hat. It gives you that extra four minutes in bed.
The BBC: I never wore a hat in bed. I've been a Catholic person for a long time now, and I wouldn't know where to begin.
Lord Fortnum of Alamein: I want it privately, on the NHS.
Mother: I wish there were more people her own age on the Circle Line.