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Alice's Restaurant (1969) Poster

Quotes

Arlo Guthrie: Group W is where they putcha if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committin' your special crime. There was all kinds of mean, nasty ugly-lookin' people on the bench there. There was mother rapers... father stabbers... father rapers... Father rapers! Sittin' right there on the bench next to me!

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Officer Obie: Want your wallets and your belts. Put everything on the desk.

Arlo Guthrie: I can understand you wanting our wallets, so we don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you want our belts for?

Officer Obie: Kid, we don't want any hanging.

Arlo Guthrie: [pause] Obie, do you think we're gonna hang ourselves for littering?

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Arlo Guthrie: Just what I've always wanted.

Alice Brock: A restaurant?

Arlo Guthrie: No, a friend with a restaurant.

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Alice Brock: Take off those handcuffs!

Officer Obie: You're interfering in the performance of my duties.

Alice Brock: You're a meathead - haven't you play-acted cop enough for one day?

Officer Obie: This side is reserved for officers of the law and criminals.

Alice Brock: Pig-eyed idiot!

Officer Obie: Alice, I've had enough garbage for one day, yours and theirs.

Alice Brock: Stupid bastard!

Officer Obie: Alice...

Alice Brock: Cradle hopper!

Officer Obie: Alice!

Alice Brock: Turkey raper!

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Arlo Guthrie: Girdles feel funny.

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Arlo Guthrie: What funny smell?

[covering up the weed box]

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Criminal: [approaching Arlo on the bench] Kid, what'd you get?

Arlo Guthrie: I didn't get nothin'. I had to pay fifty dollars, and pick up the garbage.

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Girl: [as Arlo leads donkey into the church] You can ride him to Canada!

Boy: [about to be drafted] Been wondering how to get my ass across the border.

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Arlo Guthrie: Obie, when do we get our bread and water?

Officer Obie: Shut up, kid.

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Arlo Guthrie: [unable to fill his urine-sample jar, at his Army physical] Anybody got some to spare?

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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