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Sesame Street (TV Series 1969– ) Poster

(1969– )

Quotes

Old King Cole: What ho! Bring me my royal pipe. And step on it.

Kermit the Frog: [to the TV audience] At this point, you might think we'd go for the cheap joke. But we're not going to.

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Gordon: Sally, you've never seen a street like Sesame Street before. Everything happens here. You're gonna love it!

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Big Bird: Never refer to me as an item. I'm a bird.

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Big Bird: Super. Duper. Flooper.

Mr. Hooper: Hooper. Hooper.

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Fat Blue: [angrily] Do you think you can bring me a meal *without* dropping it on the floor?

Grover: Where there is life, there is hope.

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Oscar the Grouch: Say! Aren't you Johnny Trash?

Johnny Cash: No, Cash.

Oscar the Grouch: Cash, Cash!

Johnny Cash: Yeah. Have a rotten day!

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Grover: Hello everybodeeeeeeeee! It is I, Grover!

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Fat Blue: [in Grover's taxi] I do not want to go to the museum, I do not want to go the movies, I do not want to go to the zoo! I want YOU to drive ME to the library!

Grover: Gladly, sir. If you do not mind waiting.

Fat Blue: Waiting? Waiting for what?

Grover: 'Til I get my car fixed. It is broken.

Fat Blue: I can't wait 'til your car is fixed. I'm in a hurry!

Grover: Oh alright, sir, if you are going to be difficult.

[calls out]

Grover: Hey, Herry! Forget the gargage. We need to go to the library!

Fat Blue: But I'm in a hurry. Hey...?

Grover: Well in that case I shall call you a taxi.

[calls out]

Grover: Taxi! Taxi, we got a library job! Taxi! They never stop when you need them. Have you ever noticed that?

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Cookie Monster: [as Alistair Cookie, host of Monsterpiece Theatre] Today, we bring you greatest play in English language: Hamlet, by William Shakespeare. It no get classier than this.

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[Repeated line]

Cookie Monster: [before eating cookies] Cowabunga!

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Prairie Dawn: [Introducing Bert's play about taking care of one's teeth] Hello everyone, boys and girls. I want to welcome you and thank you for coming to see today's show. Today's show was written entirely by Bert, and was directed by Bert, and stars none other then our old friend Bert. If the play was just wonderful, you can thank Bert, but if the play was horrible, you have no one but Bert to blame.

Bert: [after appearing from behind the curtain] Prairie, will you stop that? Just go to the piano and start the play!

Prairie Dawn: [quieter] The stage manager is also Bert.

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Ernie: 1Q.

Bert: 2Q.

Ernie: 3Q.

Bert: 4Q.

Ernie: 5Q.

Bert: 6Q.

Ernie: 7Q.

Bert: 8Q.

Ernie: 9Q.

Bert: 10Q.

Ernie: What's that, Bert?

Bert: 10Q!

Ernie: I couldn't hear you, Bert.

Bert: [Yelling] 10Q, 10Q, 10Q!

Ernie: You're welcome, you're welcome, you're welcome, Bert.

[laughs]

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Big Bird: At last! Now you see him and you got to believe me. He's not imaginary after all. I told you all along there was a Snuffleupagus, my best pal. I told you, but you never believed me.

Gordon Robinson: Wait a minute, Big Bird. Maria, Linda and I believed you.

Big Bird: Yeah, but no one else did.

David Robinson: That's right, Big Bird. We didn't, but...

Big Bird: But what?

Snuffleupagus: Yeah, but what?

Susan Robinson: Big Bird, you have a right to be angry.

Big Bird: I do?

Susan Robinson: Sure, I mean after all this time, and we never believed you. That must have been very hard on you.

Big Bird: Well, yeah.

Bob Johnson: I'll tell you what, Big Bird. From now on, we'll believe you whenever you tell us something.

Big Bird: You promise?

Bob Johnson: We promise.

Snuffleupagus: We might want to get that in writing.

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Bert: [Bert has reluctantly agreed to have Ernie give him a haircut... ] Ernie. I'm bald.

Ernie: Um... well, I wouldn't say that, Bert.

Bert: You wouldn't say that?

[explodes]

Bert: No, but it's true!

Ernie: Well, I know it's true, I just wouldn't say it, Bert.

Bert: [hysterical] You cut all my hair off!

Ernie: Yes, well, I 'm sorry about that...

Bert: Ernie!

Ernie: But, but it will grow back again, you know...

Bert: My hair!

Ernie:

  • that's one of the great things about hair, you know.


Bert: It'll take a *month* for it to grow back, Ernie!

Ernie: [plaintively] A whole month?

Bert: A whole month! What are you gonna do about it?

Ernie: Uh... Bert! I have just the thing for you. Just a second.

[ducks off screen]

Bert: Oh, my hair.

Ernie: [reappears carrying a large book] Here you go, Bert.

Bert: What is that, a book?

Ernie: Mm-hmm.

[places it on the ledge in front of them]

Bert: A book won't make my hair grow faster.

Ernie: No, but it'll give you something to do while you're waiting.

[snickers and runs off screen]

Bert: Errnieee!

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Ernie: You know, whenever I'm not sleepy, Bert tells me to count sheep?

Count von Count: "Count Sheep?" Who's that?

Ernie: Uh, uh, it's not a who, it's a what.

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Grover: Hello, sir, and welcome to Grover's Taxi.

Fat Blue: Oh no, it's you!

Grover: Yes it is I, your furry blue taxi driver. What can I do for you, sir?

Fat Blue: I want to go to the library.

Grover: Oh a very wise choice. The library is a wonderful place with books to read and you can listen to records like "The Air is Alive with the Sound of Music."

Fat Blue: I know that. Let's go.

Grover: You know you can take home books from the library too, if you bring them back of course.

Fat Blue: I know. That's why I'm going there.

Grover: Of course you could also go to the zoo.

Fat Blue: I don't want to go to the zoo!

Grover: Why? There are lions and tigers there. And the lions go Rrrrroar! And do not forget the monkeys, they are so cute, they go "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!" And you can buy a balloon there.

Fat Blue: I don't wanna hear "Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh!" I don't want a balloon, I want to go to the library!

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[repeated line]

Bert: I don't get it.

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[repeated line]

Bert: It's not fair. It's just not fair!

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Bert: Oh, I love pigeons more then anything else in this world... besides oatmeal.

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Forgetful Jones: [repeated Line] I forgot!

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[repeated question]

Bert: Why me?

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[Oscar the Grouch's famous last line]

Oscar the Grouch: Now leave me alone and get lost!

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[Another of Oscar the Grouch's famous lines/catchphrases]

Oscar the Grouch: Scram!

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Elmo: Oh look, it's Mr. Noodle's brother, Mr. Noodle.

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Grover: How about the museum? You can look at pictures of the mummies... And the daddies.

Fat Blue: I don't want to look at pictures of the mummies and the daddies!

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Cookie Monster: Cookie Monster thief, not liar.

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Slimy: [after reading Trash Gordon] Read more! Read more!

Oscar the Grouch: Uh uh. Sorry, Slimy, time for sleep now. So close your eyes and dream of all the wonderful Trash that's yet to come.

[to the camera]

Oscar the Grouch: You too. There'll be more Trash tomorrow.

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Slimy: Read! Read! Read!

Oscar the Grouch: Okay, Slimy, although I do enjoy your pestering.

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Oscar the Grouch: [Referring to Slimy's book The Adventures of Trash Gordon] He loves reading Trash.

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Slimey the Worm: [after reading Trash Gordon] More! More! More!

Oscar the Grouch: No, no more, Slimey. That was alot of excitement for a little worm. You get some rest and we'll read some more tomorrow.

[to the camera]

Oscar the Grouch: You're still here? Hey, why don't you go read a book or something?

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[Grover is doing an exercise video]

Grover: Jane Fonda, eat your heart out!

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Kermit the Frog: [trying to come up with rhyming song lyrics] Here, try this. Mary had a little canary. It was bluer than the sky. And every where that Mary went, the canary was sure to fly.

Don Music: [shouts] But canaries aren't blue!

Kermit the Frog: Jeesh!

Don Music: I'll never get it! Never! You won't help! Oh!

[bangs his head against the piano]

Kermit the Frog: Uh, you'll hurt yourself in the head, there, Don.

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Oscar the Grouch: [Oscar has just broken his arm in an accident during a mud road race in his can. He comes up cradling his arm, and one of the humans there suggested taking him to the hospital] Hospital? You want to take me to the hospital? With all those clean white sheets, and those nice clean nurses and doctors?

[Pounds his hurt arm on the side of the can in frustration, yelling]

Oscar the Grouch: I don't want to go... Ow! Ow! Ow!

[Stops and cradles the arm again. Quietly, beat]

Oscar the Grouch: Take me to the hospital.

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[as Super Grover]

Grover: Yes, it is I, *Sup*-er Grover! Protector of small children and bunny rabbits!

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Ernie: [Ernie is having Bert's head traced on the screen, unbeknownst to Bert who can't move and doesn't understand why] Okay, here is Bert's eye.

[His left eye is traced]

Ernie: And here is Bert's other eye.

[His other eye is traced]

Ernie: And the eyes are what you see with, right Bert?

[Bert starts to say something, but is cut off immediately by Ernie]

Ernie: Don't say anything, Bert.

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Big Bird: [singing] ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. It's the most remarkable word I've ever seen. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. I wish I knew exactly what I mean. It starts out like an A word, as anyone can see. But somewhere in the middle, it gets awful "QR" to me. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. If I ever find out just what this word can mean, I'll be the smartest bird the world has ever seen.

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[repeated line]

Count von Count: Greetings! I am the Count. They call me the Count because I love to count things.

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[repeated line]

Oscar the Grouch: Ding-dong! You're wrong!

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Oscar the Grouch: [as the gang is visiting Puerto Rico, Oscar is walking around asking various different natives one specific question, and appears not to be getting anywhere with it. He comes across Maria with a group of kids and adults, and asks her] Maria, could you tell me how to say 'no' in Spanish?

Maria Figueroa Rodriguez: No.

Oscar the Grouch: [Yelling in desperation] Can't anybody tell me how to say 'no' in Spanish?

Everybody: [Loud enough to scare him into hiding] NO!

Maria Figueroa Rodriguez: [Calmly as he reappears] Oscar, the way you say 'no' in Spanish is 'no'.

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[repeated line]

Kermit the Frog: Hi-ho, Kermit the Frog here at Sesame Street News...

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[repeated lines]

Grover: [out in the distance] He-e-e-e-e-ey, froggy baby!

Kermit the Frog: Oh, no.

[Grover walks to Kermit and slaps his back really hard]

Kermit the Frog: Oof!

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Mrs. Snuffleupagus: Come along my darlings. Hello, Mr. Handford.

Mr. Handford: Hello, Mrs. Snuffleupagus.

Snuffy: Hello, Mr. Handford.

Mr. Handford: Hello, Snuffy.

Alice Snuffleupagus: Hi, Mr. Hand Foot.

[giggles]

Mr. Handford: Hi, Alice.

[to the camera]

Mr. Handford: Boy, now that's a lot of snuffleupaguses.

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Cookie Monster: What a dream! Oh, Very sad!

[as he was going to eat a cookie]

Cookie Monster: . OH! NO, NO, NO, NO! Never eat cookies again. NO! From now on, Me eat carrots. Yeah!

[Eats carrots]

Cookie Monster: , And fish

[Eats fish]

Cookie Monster: , And whole wheat bread

[Eats bread]

Cookie Monster: , And NO! NO! Cookies! Sorry, Cookie. Me cannot eat you ever... Say you talking, Cookie?... You crying, Cookie?... Hmmm

[Eats the cookie]

Cookie Monster: Well, Maybe sometime a cookie.

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Pat Playjacks: Are you ready to play our game, Count?

Count von Count: Oh, Yes. Sure thing, Pat.

Pat Playjacks: What is your guess and how many pig squeals do you think it will be?

Count von Count: Uh, One squeal, No make it two squeals, No wait, three squeals, No four squeals for five squeals.

Pat Playjacks: Uh, Count. We can only take one guess.

Count von Count: One guess, Two guesses, THREE!

Pat Playjacks: THREE! Is three your guess? Okay, That's your guess. Three pig squeals so give the pig a spin on that turntable.

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The Monster Cookie: KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF, PAL!

Cookie Monster: [Shocks and surprised] Uh, Uh, Cookie Talked!

The Monster Cookie: Me not cookie, Me monster.

Cookie Monster: Why, me too. Me, Cookie Monster.

The Monster Cookie: Me, Monster Cookie.

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Kermit the Frog: [trying to come up with a rhyming song lyrics] Mary had a bicycle. It was painted red as fire. And whenever Mary wanted to take a ride, The bicycle had a flat tire.

Don Music: I like it!

[shouting for joy]

Don Music: I LIKE IT! Oh, that's great! You have the biggest talent of writing songs. This could be my biggest hit. Would you like to hear it?

Kermit the Frog: Certainly, I would be an honor.

Don Music: Okay, Fine.

Kermit the Frog: [to the viewers] Ladies and Gentlemen, Live and in person, Here is Don Music doing his new hit song!

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Announcer: And now, It's time for the newest, hippest, best dressed detective show on television: "Miami Mice!"

Kermit the Frog: Yeah, There are pal trees out there. What? What's on the palm tree? What's on? Oh, I am on. Oh, I am on. Oh, Cue the music!

[Miami Mice theme plays]

Kermit the Frog: Hi-ho, This is Kermit the Frog, Speaking to you from the sunny tropics of Miami Florida. And who knows the subject of an adventure, Than the world's famous Miami Mice. And here they are right now, Here is Miami Mice J.P.

J.P. Mouse: Oh, What's Happening?

Kermit the Frog: ...Tito!

Tito Mouse: Que tal, Man!

Kermit the Frog: Today, We are going to talk to you about adventures.

J.P. Mouse: Say what, Frog?

Kermit the Frog: An adventure, Where something exciting happens here!

Tito Mouse: Adventures? Nah, We got none of that here.

J.P. Mouse: Well, I wish we can help you out, Frog.

Kermit the Frog: But you are the world's famous Miami Mice.

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The Announcer: We interrupt this presentation to bring you "A message from your local chicken!"

Gordon Robinson: Hey, Zelda! You're on!

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Zelda the Chicken: [Translating] For those of you who don't speak chicken, Zelda says that she is mighty proud to be a chicken!

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] She is proud because chickens lay eggs,

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] And eggs are good for you.

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] She is also proud that she is covered with feathers that keeps him warn in the winter and hoot in the...

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] ... in the summer.

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] She is also very proud that she can...

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] Can cluck!

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] Just remember, Folks! Dogs bark, Cats meow. Ducks quack, and Cows moo! But only a chicken can cluck.

Zelda the Chicken: [Cluck-Cluck]

Gordon Robinson: You're Welcome, Zelda!

The Announcer: This announcement is sponsored by "The Proud to Be a Chicken Association"!

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Mr. Johnson: Oh boy, A bakery shop. Donuts, Cake, Cookies, Etc... I love this place.

Grover: Oh, Hello, Sir!

Mr. Johnson: Wait a minute, I know you! You are that waiter from over at Charlie's!

Grover: Yes, I have many jobs over the years.

Mr. Johnson: Alright, I want to make this very simple and not make any trobule, I would to buy a...

Grover: [as he interrupts Mr. Johnson's sentence] Excuse me, Sir! Sorry to interrupt you, But I must ask you to please take a number.

Mr. Johnson: But I am the only one in here!

Grover: I am sorry, Sir. But that is our policy. The sign says John's Bakery, Not Grover's Bakery. I only work here.

Mr. Johnson: Alright, I'll take a number.

Grover: Now, The machine will give you number. And when I call the number, You will be served, So go ahead!

[as Mr. Johnson pulls the lever of the number machine, It came out a sheet of the number]

Grover: Very good. And what's your number?

Mr. Johnson: Forty!

Grover: Forty! And that's your number!

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The Announcer: We interrupt this presentation to bring you "A message from your local chicken!"

Gordon Robinson: Hey, Zelda! You're on!

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] For those of you who don't speak chicken, Zelda says that she is mighty proud to be a chicken!

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] She is proud because chickens lay eggs,

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] And eggs are good for you.

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] She is also proud that she is covered with feathers that keeps him warn in the winter and hoot in the...

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] ... in the summer.

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] She is also very proud that she can...

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] Can cluck!

Zelda the Chicken: [Clucking]

Gordon Robinson: [Translating] Just remember, Folks! Dogs bark, Cats meow. Ducks quack, and Cows moo! But only a chicken can cluck.

Zelda the Chicken: [Cluck-Cluck]

Gordon Robinson: You're Welcome, Zelda!

The Announcer: This announcement is sponsored by "The Proud to Be a Chicken Association"!

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Guy Smiley (1969-1990): Does anybody know what the of that shape is?

Betty Lou (1969-2014): Yes, Of course, Guy. It's a...

Carl: [Buzzes in]

Guy Smiley (1969-1990): Yes, Carl?

Carl: Is it a circle?

[Buzzer Sounds]

Betty Lou (1969-2014): Oh! No!

Guy Smiley (1969-1990): Oh, I'm sorry, Carl! But that's the wrong answer!

Betty Lou (1969-2014): Don't you get it, Carl. The answer is always the same!

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Rosita: Maybe we can invite Alex's father to visit us.

Abby Cadabby: And we can built our toy cars together

Alex #2: I don't think so.

Abby Cadabby: But why not?

Alex #2: Because, He is not around to do it

[He left]

Rosita: Did we do something wrong?

Sofia: I don't know. Maybe we will find out.

[They all followed to Alex]

Sofia: Hello, Alex. We are your friends, You can talk about everything you can.

Alex #2: I know that. But talking about my father makes me very upset.

Abby Cadabby: Did your father move away?

Rosita: Did he go on vacation?

Alex #2: No, But where he is at, I don't want to talk about it.

Rosita: What happened to your father?

Alex #2: My father is in jail!

Rosita: [Shocked] in jail! But why?

Alex #2: I don't understand this situation.

Sofia: Actually, I know what you are going through. When I was your age, My father was incarceration too?

Alex #2: He was?

Sofia: Yes!

Rosita: Your father was incarceration?

Abby Cadabby: What is incarceration? And why was your father in it?

Sofia: Incarceration is when someone breaks the law, A grown up rule. And then they have to go to jail or prison.

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Gordon Robinson: What are you guys doing?

Abby Cadabby: We are drawing about the house we live in.

Gordon Robinson: Cool, Le me see it.

[Looks at Rosita's house]

Gordon Robinson: Wow!

Rosita: That is my Casa! And this is my mother!

Elmo: And this is my apartment where I live on.

Gordon Robinson: That's cool, And what do you got here, Abby?

Abby Cadabby: Well, This is my house, And this is my other house.

Elmo: [Confused] Hey, Wait a minute. What do Abby mean her other house?

Abby Cadabby: Well, This is my mother's house, And this is my father's house?

Rosita: But don't they live together?

Elmo: Why don't they live together?

Abby Cadabby: Well, My parents are divorced!

Rosita: Wait, What is a divorce?

Gordon Robinson: Well, A divorce means that her parents are not married anymore.

Elmo: Why not?

Gordon Robinson: Well, They tried and tried. And they couldn't do it so long. And it sometimes doesn't work.

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Count von Count: Did I say Three?

Pat Playjacks: Yes!

Count von Count: I SAID THREE

[HA-HA-HA!]

Pat Playjacks: That's right. Three squeals, Count Von Count. YOU WON!

Count von Count: Oh, I won!

Prairie Dawn: What? He won? Oh no!

Pat Playjacks: And now, It's time to pick a prize from the studio filled with fabulous prizes and to show them to us is our Co-hostess, Velma Blank. A fifteen gallon tank of finger paint, A hand crafted grapefruit goggle for the protection of that morning squirt, And the larger than life portrait of America's 2nd favorite game show host, Pat Playjacks.

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Bushman Bill: HEY! This is Bushman Bill with a big hit song you have been waiting for! That's right boys and girls! And Bushman Bill played it first right here. The Uno-Numero on The Hit Parade this week: It's Didi O-Dey, and The Dew Drops in ''Be My D!''

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Frazzle: [singing] In, In, In, For mooooooooore! In, In, In...

Janitor: [Interrupts Frazzle dancing] Hey, Hey! Hold on, Sonny. Well, There is no more! We are closing now. Watch you step.

Frazzle: Well, I guess it's

[singing]

Frazzle: Out, Out, Out, The doooooooor! Out, Out, Out, The doooooooooor!...

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Pat Playjacks: Oooooh, I very sorry, Prairie. You guessed ten and there were only five squeals in today's pig, I mean "Squeal of Fortune". That's too bad.

Prairie Dawn: Oh dear. I guess I didn't win. I don't believe this!

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Guy Smiley #1: Nope, You are close. But you all guessed wrong! This person is a television game show host, and his name is Sonny Friendly.

Sonny Friendly #1: [laughs] Hey, Are we having a nice day or what?

Everybody: WHAT?

Sonny Friendly #1: And how about that panel? Are they good sport or what, audience?

Guy Smiley #1: Well, This is Guy Smiley saying...

Sonny Friendly #1: YEAH, LET'S HEAR IT FOR GUY, SHALL WE? He is a wonder guess.

Guy Smiley #1: [Angrily] I AM NOT THE GUEST! I AM THE HOST OF THIS SHOW!

Sonny Friendly #1: This is Sonny Friendly saying...

Guy Smiley #1: YOU ARE NOT SAYING IT, I AM SAYING IT.

Sonny Friendly #1: But I

Guy Smiley #1: NO YOU WON'T...

[to a crew member]

Guy Smiley #1: THIS WHOLE THING WAS A ROTTEN IDEA! Who put this man on the show?

Announcer #2: Guy Smiley's Wardrobe is by Sierra Lagoob. Sonny Friendly's Wardrobe is by Jeff Fredrick.

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The Announcer #2: The contestant who cries the hardest will win an official Sonny Friendly Teddy Bear

[Shows the teddy bear that has Sonny Friendly's hair and teeth]

Sonny Friendly #2: Wait, THAT'S THE GRAND PRIZE!

The Announcer #2: Yes, And I believe Ida Nomer cried the hardest and is the winner.

Ida Nomer: Oh for joy...

Sonny Friendly #2: But, But

[Runs into the camera]

Sonny Friendly #2: I LOVE MY TEDDY BEAR, YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

[Sobs loudly]

The Announcer #2: Sonny Friendly, You cried even harder than Ida Nomer, You won the grand prize!

[Fanfare plays]

Sonny Friendly #2: WHAT! I WON? Ah, For joys. This is the happiest day of the life. Now, Let's give some consolation prize for our runner's up.

The Announcer #2: Sorry, There is no consolation prize.

Luke Warm: WHAT? No consolation prizes?

[Voice breaks down]

Luke Warm: This is awful.

Ida Nomer: [Sobbing] IT'S NOT FAIR!

Pierre Blue: [Voice breaksdown] This is so, sad!

Sonny Friendly #2: [while holding his Teddy Bear and leaving the poor contestants sobbing in failure as he holds] Well, I guess we all can't be winners, huh?

[laughs]

Sonny Friendly #2: [to the audience] Well, This is Sonny Friendly saying we will see you again next on ''The Crying Game Show''

[to the Teddy Bear]

Sonny Friendly #2: Oh, Teddy, I am so glad to have you back.

[Kisses his teddy bear]

Sonny Friendly #2: Are you glad to see me again?

[to the audience]

Sonny Friendly #2: Thank you, Audience. You were a great crowd.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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