Yellow Submarine (1968)
Old Fred: Oh! Frankenstein!
Ringo: Yeah, I used to go out with his sister.
Old Fred: His sister?
Ringo: Yeah, Phyllis.
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: If I spoke prose you'd all find out / I don't know what I talk about.
Old Fred: Now whatever you do, don't touch that button!
Ringo: Which button?
Old Fred: That button.
Ringo: This button?
[presses the button and is ejected]
Old Fred: That was the panic button.
Paul: Look, it's a school of whales.
Ringo: They look a little bit old for school.
Paul: University then.
Ringo: University of "Wales".
John: They look like drop-outs to me.
John: Break the glass.
George: We can't!
Paul: It's Beatle-proof.
John: Nothing is Beatle-proof!
Ringo: Cor! It's all a load of Father Xmas's.
Paul: No, that's Father Time.
Ringo: How'd you know that?
Paul: Well, I read it in a book once.
[Ringo picks up a hole and puts it in his pocket]
Ringo: I've got a hole in me pocket.
[the Beatles are shown as their live action selves]
George: That was one great party. And we brought back some lovely souvenirs.
[takes out a kite string with a wind-up mistaken for a motor]
George: Here's the motor.
Paul: And I've got a little
[the word "love" comes out of his hand]
Ringo: [takes out a fake hole from his pocket] And I've got a hole in my pocket.
George: A hole?
Ringo: Well, half a hole anyway. I gave the rest to Jeremy.
George: What can he do with half a hole?
Paul: Fix it to keep his mind from wandering!
Chief Meanie: Pepperland is a tickle of joy on the blue belly of the universe. It must be scratched. Right, Max?
Max: Yes, Your Blueness.
Chief Meanie: WHAT? We Meanies only take "no" for an answer! Is that understood, Max?
Max: No, Your Blueness!
Chief Meanie: That's better.
Old Fred: Help! Help! Help!
Ringo: Thanks, we don't need any.
Old Fred: Help! Won't you please, please help me!
Ringo: Be pacific.
Ringo: Hey, I wonder what'll happen if I pull this lever.
Old Fred: Oh, you mustn't do that now.
Ringo: Can't help it. I'm a born "Liver-pooler."
John: Hey Ringo, I just had the strangest dream.
Ringo: I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach.
Jeremy: Ad hoc, ad loc, and quid pro quo! So little time! So much to know!
[Jeremy is writing with his foot]
Jeremy: The footnotes for my nineteenth book. This is my standard procedure for doing it. And while I compose it, I'm also reviewing it!
George: A boob for all seasons.
Paul: How can he lose?
John: Were your notices good?
Jeremy: It's my policy never to read my reviews.
John: Hullo, there, blue people! Won't you join us? Hook up, and otherwise co-mingle? Whaddaya say?
Chief Meanie: Max...
Max: Yes, your Blueness... er, your NEWness?
Chief Meanie: It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?
John: Are you with us? Will you join?
Chief Meanie: Shall we?
Max: [nodding] No!
Chief Meanie: [threatening] AARGH!
Max: [hastily] N-n-y-y-y-y-YES! Your Newness!
Chief Meanie: Yeeeees, Max!
Jeremy: Yes! Ah, yes is a word with a glorious ring! A true universal utopious thing! Engenders embracing and chasing of blues, the very best word for the whole world to use!
Chief Meanie: Yes, let us mix, Max. I've never admitted it before, but my cousin is the blue-bird of happiness!
Ringo: Move over, I'm driving.
George: No, I got here first.
Ringo: We'll drive if you like...
George: No, you sit in the middle.
John: No, I'm sitting in the middle.
George: Who said you were driving?
Ringo: I am driving.
George: I'll get in the back, then.
[they drive off camera]
[opening a door to find King Kong abducting a woman]
George: Do you think we're interrupting something?
John: I think so.
Old Fred: Well, lads, what do you think?
George: I think that...
Old Fred: Remember, there'll be rough seas ahead! What do you think?
Paul: Well, um...
Old Fred: Pounding overwhelming waves! What do you think of that, eh?
John: Well, I think that...
Ringo: As a matter of fact, I think that...
Old Fred: Well?
Paul: Do you ever get the feeling...
Paul: That things aren't as rosy as they appear to be under the surface?
John: Well, in my humble opinion, we've become involved in Einstein's time-space continuum theory.
George: Oh, right.
John: Relatively speaking, that is.
George: Maybe time's gone on strike.
Ringo: What for?
George: Shorter hours.
Ringo: I don't blame it. Must be very tiring being time, mustn't it?
Ringo: Well, it's a twenty-four hour day, isn't it?
John: You surprise me, Ringo.
John: Dealing in abstracts.
[after Ringo ejects himself from the submarine]
Paul: Poor Ringo.
George: Poor lad.
Paul: Never did no harm to no one.
John: Hey, lads, now that Ringo's gone, what do we do?
Old Fred: Learn to sing trios.
Paul: Naw, let's save the poor devil.
[being swallowed by the vacuum monster]
John: The motor's packing in!
Old Fred: By all the sea nymphettes! We're losing power!
George: We're being swallowed!
Paul: What should we do?
John: Serve tea?
Paul: [singing] When I get older losing my hair many years from now./Will you still be sending me a Valentine?/Birthday greetings, bottle of Wine.
Old Fred: [the motor has conked out] By Neptune's knickerbockers! She's puttered out!
George: Maybe we should call a road service?
Paul: Can't, no road!
Ringo: And we're not sub... scribers?
John/Paul/George: Subscribers, oh...
Paul: Let's show him our motor.
John: Steady on! I mean, you don't want to be showing your motor to just anybody.
George: Ok, men all aboard. Lets go somewhere.
Ringo: [Indicating Jeremy] What about him?
John: He's happy enough going around in circles.
Ringo: Aw, poor little fellow.
Paul: I don't know. Ringo's just a sentamentalist.
Ringo: Aw, look at him. Can't he come with us?
[he goes over to Jeremy]
Ringo: Hey, Mr Boob! You can come with us if you like.
Jeremy: You mean you'd take a nowhere man?
Ringo: Yeah, come on. We'll take you somewhere.
Ringo: [Describing the Yellow Submarine to himself after his first encounter with it] It must have been one of those Unidentified Flying Cupcakes... a pigment of me imagination.
Paul: Groovy! How do you start this thing?
Old Fred: It starts with a Blue Meanie attack.
John: Well, supposing there are no Blue Meanies in the neighbourhood?
Old Fred: Oh, er, well, then you, um, start looking for a switch.
Ringo: [Ringo pushes a button that starts playing the first few notes of the song "All Together Now"] Perhaps this is it.
John: Hey, Jeremy, what do you know about holes?
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: There are simply no holes in my education.
Paul: You mean you haven't composed a "hole" book?
Lord Mayor: It's quite uncanny, your faces...
Paul: We're quite cute, really.
Lord Mayor: You could pass for the originals!
John: We are the originals.
Paul: [seeing the Chief Meanie for the first time] Hey, he reminds me of my old English teacher.
John: Look, if you must shout, shout quietly!
Blue Meanie: Are you, er... blueish? You don't LOOK blueish.
George: Okay, instruments at the ready...
John: Okay, on the beat of one, a-two, a-three, a-four, a-five, a-six...
Ringo: Hey, can't you make it three?
John: Oh, all right, on the beat of three: A-one, a-two, a-three...
Chief Meanie: My dear friend... let us not forget that heaven is blue.
Chief Meanie: Ah, here you are my glovey-dovey. Go get thee hence, and destroy yon upstarts. SMASH THEM, SQUASH THEM, CRUSH THEM! O-BLUE-terate them!
John: If I could come in, here, I think the theory put forward by Einstein...
Paul: [singing] Einstein, Einstein, any-any-any old Einstein...
John: Could well be applied here. The people in the ball are obviously extensions of our own personalities, suspended, as it were, in time, frozen in space...
George: Uh, John...
John: ...According to the now-famous theory of relativity...
John: Which, briefly explained...
John: Is simply a matter of taking two eggs...
John: Beating lightly, and adding a little salt and pepper to taste...
George: As a matter of fact, there's a war on.
John: Then brothers in war, to the skirmish must we hence! Shall we hence?
Paul: Oh, let's not waste any more time sitting on the hence! Beatles to battle! Charge!
[Jeremy is cornered by the Chief Meanie]
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: He does, in truth, seem quite annoyed. Some reference material be-be-before I'm destroyed!
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: "Where ground is soft most often grows, arise! Arise! Arouse! A rose!
[a rose sprouts on the Chief Meanie's nose]
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: A rosy nose?
Chief Meanie: SPEAK YOUR LAST PIECE!
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: Peace! Peace! Supplant the doom and the gloom! Turn off what is sour! Turn into a flower and BLOOM! BLOOM! BLOOM!
[roses sprout all over the Chief Meanie]
George: Hey! There's a Cyclops!
Paul: Can't be. It's got two eyes.
John: Must be a "bicycle-ops" then.
Ringo: There's another one.
John: A whole "'cyclopedia"!
Old Fred: All right then. Let's get this vessel shipshape.
George: I kind of like it the way it is. Submarine shape.
George: Yes, dey do look very nice, don't dey?
Ringo: Yes, dey do.
John: Dey do dough, don't dey?
George: Yes, dey do.
Ringo: Don't dey, dough?
John: Fa-la. Dat dough!
Ringo: Oh, your story has touched me heart. Jump in. We'll get me friends.
Old Fred: Oh, bless you.
Ringo: Did I sneeze?
George: Do you speak English?
Jeremy: Old English, Middle, Dialect, Pure.
Paul: Well, do you speak English?
Jeremy: You know, I'm not sure.
Ringo: He's so smart he doesn't even remember what he knows!
Narrator: Once upon a time, or maybe twice, there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland. 80,000 leagues beneath the sea it lay, or lie. I'm not too sure.
Chief Blue Meanie: Hee, hee hee hee hee! Oh, I haven't laughed so much since Pompeii.
Ringo: Hey, would you believe me if I told you I was being followed by a yellow submarine?
Police Officer: Um, uh, no. No, I would not.
Ringo: I, uh, didn't think you would. I could've sworn it was a yellow submarine. But that isn't logical now, is it? It must've been one of them "Unidentified Flying Cupcakes". One of the figments of me imagination. But I don't have an imagination.
[seeing John looking through a telescope, concerned]
Paul: What's the matter, John Love? Blue Meanies.
John Lennon: Newer and bluer Meanies have been sighted in the vicinity of this theatre. There's only one way we can go out!
George: How's that?
John Lennon: Singing!
Ringo: Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night, and this is only Thursday morning.
John: [in the Sea of Holes] This place reminds me of Blackburn, Lancashire.
Paul: [sings] Oh, boy!
Chief Meanie: Ah, the hills are alive...
Max: [sings] ... with the sound of music!
Chief Meanie: [Punches Max] Who did it? Who is responsible for this?
[Chief Meanie shoots him, Blue Menial #3 stomps him into ground]
Max: [Poking his head up from ground] Guy Lombardo?
Old Fred: Hey, what would your friends be doing here?
Old Fred: Displaying what?
Ringo: Dis-playing around.
Chief Blue Meanie: [as Blue Minions are routed] You're advancing the wrong way! Retreat backwards!
Old Fred: You've got to steer clear.
Ringo: Steer clear?
Old Fred: Yes, steer. Clear?
Ringo: Yes, dear.
Old Fred: "H" for "Hurry," "E" for "'Ergent,'" "L" for "Love me," and "P" for "P-P-P-Please help!"
Ringo: George, what are you doing up there?
George: [driving in Ringo's car] Now, what is it, Ringo? Is there a matter you'd like to take up... or down?
Ringo: [indicating Fred] This chap, here.
Old Fred: [crazy gibberish] Submarines! Explosions!
George: Aww, you're nuts, the pair of ya.
Ringo: Hey, that's my car, lad.
George: How do you know it's your car, lad?
Ringo: I know it anywhere. Red with yellow wheels.
[the car changes colors]
Ringo: I mean... blue with orange wheels.
[the car changes colors again]
George: It's all in the mind.
Paul: [they're hiding from the Meanies in the gazebo] Do you think they heard us?
John: I hope not.
George: What did you say?
George: Good plan.
George: Hey, it's seen us!
Old Fred: Fire the boxing button!
Paul: Whoever heard of a "boxing button"?
George: Who cares! Find one!
Lord Mayor: Four scores and 32 bars ago, our four fathers
Old Fred: A quartet?
Lord Mayor: And four mothers
Old Fred: Another quartet?
Lord Mayor: Made their way in this yellow submarine...
Old Fred: What, that little thing?
Lord Mayor: ...to Pepperland.
George: Hey, he looks wrong.
Paul: He doesn't look at all well.
George: In fact, he's horrible.
John: He's so ugly.
All: REALLY UGLY!
John: [George tries to fix the sub's motor, receiving a huge electric shock instead] What do you think?
George: I think I burnt me finger.
Ringo: [as Jeremy disables the Chief Blue Meenie with flowers] First time I saw that Nowhere Man, that Nobody, "I" knew he was Somebody.
John: You're right.
Old Fred: [after they have all been turned into much younger versions of themselves] Now I don't mean to alarm you, mates, but the years are going backwards.
George: What does that mean, Old Fred?
Old Fred: It means that if we slip back through time at this right, pretty soon we'll all disappear up our own existance!
Ringo: Nothing ever happens to me. I'd jump in the river Mersey... but it looks like rain.
Ringo: [singing] And the band begins to play. We all live in a Yellow Submarine. Yellow Submarine. Yellow Submarine.
Chief Meanie: Are the troops in readiness?
Max: No, Your Blueness.
Chief Meanie: The bonkers?
Chief Meanie: Clowns?
Chief Meanie: Snapping Turks?
Chief Meanie: Anti-music missiles?
Chief Meanie: The dreadful flying glove?
Chief Meanie: Splendid! Today... Pepperland goes blue-y...!
Ringo: [seeing Jeremy captured by the Blue Meanies] Jeremy! Can it be you?
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: Can it be me? I think you better inquire the guards, for when I was captured, they took all my cards.
John: [Frankenstein's monster has turned into John Lennon] Hey, Ringo, I've just had the strangest dream.
Ringo: I warned you not to eat on an empty stomach. Now listen to old Fred.
Old Fred: [speaking gibberish] Submarine! Explosions! Blue Meanies!
Old Fred: What do you think?
John: [to Ringo] I think he needs a rehearsal.
[the Beatles have finally arrived in Pepperland]
George: Looks a bit salty around the edges.
Chief Meanie: [confronting Jeremy] I think I'll tear him up into little pieces.
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: Oh, he does, does he?
Chief Meanie: Yes, I think I'll make a blue burger out of him.
Jeremy Hillary Boob, PhD.: I don't care what you think.
[tries to leave, but the Chief Meanie grabs him]
Chief Meanie: Oh, you don't, eh? We'll soon see about that!
Old Fred: [Ringo is driving the submarine] You've got to steer clear!
Ringo: Steer clear?
Old Fred: Yes, steer. Clear?
Ringo: Yes, steer.
Old Fred: [parking Ringo's car] Just park it here.
Ringo: I'll just park it here.
George: Not a Meanie in sight.
John: Not even a teeny Meanie.
Paul: Not even a teeny-weeny Meanie.
[the Beatles just saw duplicates of themselves in a second yellow submarine]
George: Maybe we're both part of a vast yellow submarine fleet.
Ringo: There's only two of us.
John: Well, then, I would suggest that yonder yellow submarine is none other than ourselves...
Old Fred: Going backwards.
John: ...in time.
[as the sub travels through the Sea of Time, the Beatles and Old Fred turn smaller and younger because the time is traveling backwards]
George: [as they reduce in size] Hey, look, everything's getting bigger!
John: It's not. It's us that are getting smaller.