Stay Away, Joe (1968)
Charlie Lightcloud: Smoke! Something's on fire.
Grandpa: Fire, hell! That's smoke talk. Chester Walkingbear over at Big Springs. I thought that old dog-eater was dead by now.
Charlie Lightcloud: What's it say? You know I can't read smoke talk.
Grandpa: A lot of good it did to send you to school, can't even read your own language! He saying, get ready for big whoop-up. Watch squaws. Joe Lightcloud comin' home!
Charlie Lightcloud: An Indian can be fine, hardworking American citizen and not a lazy bum - like some white men think!
Grandpa: Tongue of viper, should strip you naked, paint you red, horse drag you 'cross river.
Charlie Lightcloud: Not now, Grandpa.
Grandpa: And don't call me Grandpa. Scorpion squaw should work more, talk less.
Annie Lightcloud: Watch out, old man!
Joe Lightcloud: Where's old Grandpa? Is he still alive?
Grandpa: Damn right, he is!
Joe Lightcloud: You don't look a day older.
Grandpa: Day older than what?
Joe Lightcloud: [singing] Jump down, spin around, let's have a party; Look who's back, Stay away, Joe; Choctaw, Chickasaw, come and drink and party, Welcome back, Stay away, Joe; Stay away, Joe, they call me; Stay away, Joe, oh yeah; But if you need me, call, a-hoop and a-holler and I'll be there; Hey!...
Joe Lightcloud: [singing] When two lips are ripe for the pickin', Who crops up, Stay away, Joe; Love 'em, Leave 'em, Screamin' and kickin', Hey - ho - giddy-up - Hey, look at him go! Stay away, Joe, they call me, Stay away, Joe, oh yeah, But if you need me, call me, a-hoop and a-holler and I'll be there; Hey!
Mary Lightcloud: Come on, Lorne, let's go meet the rest of the tribe.
Frank Hawk: What's he doin' to her?
Joe Lightcloud: If a guy did that without music, they'd throw him in jail.
Frank Hawk: That no good son of an Apache!
Joe Lightcloud: What's happened now?
Mary Lightcloud: Why don't you find out, while I rescue a certain white man from being scalped by wild Indians - *female* Indians!
Grandpa: You bad Indian.
Charlie Lightcloud: Now, Grandpa.
Grandpa: Don't call me Grandpa!
Charlie Lightcloud: She's only half Indian.
Annie Lightcloud: I'm half Mexican. I'm proud of it!
Grandpa: We invite friends to celebrate our great good fortune, and this half-bread, scorpion squaw will not feed them.
Grandpa: In old days when we have whoop-up, we have *whoop-up*! When friends come to my father's tepee, they get buffalo. Big, fat buffalo!
Joe Lightcloud: Annie, what's eatin' you?
Annie Lightcloud: You remember the cow you ate last night? It was da bull!
Joe Lightcloud: You mean, Bronc was so stoned he couldn't tell the difference?
Annie Lightcloud: That's right.
Joe Lightcloud: What would you say if I were to get you a big, strong blue ribbon stud that weighs about 780 pounds?
Charlie Lightcloud: Why I'd say that's a lot of bull.
Annie Lightcloud: So would I!
Glenda Callahan: Mamie, you take that shameful thing off!
Mamie Callahan: It's a mini-dress. I made it myself.
Glenda Callahan: Mini-dress, hell! It looks like your underwear.
Joe Lightcloud: I like it.
Glenda Callahan: Baby, dear, don't you wanna be good?
Mamie Callahan: How am I gonna be good if I never get any practice?
Hy Slager: I have a terrible feeling before this things over I'm going to be feeling terrible.
Joe Lightcloud: Let me buy you a beer.
Deputy Sheriff Hank Matson: I'm on duty for another ten minutes.
Joe Lightcloud: Well, look, I'll tell you what, when you get off duty, come out to Glenda Callahan's and I'll buy you all the brew in the house.
Deputy Sheriff Hank Matson: I'll see you there, Redskin!
Joe Lightcloud: Look, I been thinkin' about you and me.
Glenda Callahan: Yeah, I know how you was thinkin'.
Joe Lightcloud: No, Mamie's nice, but, she's just a baby. I like a woman with - maturity.
Joe Lightcloud: Look, honey, you just don't up and get married like that. You got to plan these things. You know what I mean? You got to get to know each other better.
Mamie Callahan: Oh! You mean like this!
[Jumps in Joe's arms as he falls back down on the her bed]
Annie Lightcloud: Oh, Carlos, Carlos, did you fill the water tank on the toilet?
Charlie Lightcloud: Three buckets full. She can flush all day.
Grandpa: You stay away from me, old squaw.
Annie Lightcloud: Where's your new clothes, Grandpa.
Grandpa: Mail order suit stink! Wolf skin and blanket, good enough.
Lorne Hawkins: Mrs. Lightcloud, Charlie, Grandpa, it's been a gas.
Joe Lightcloud: You know what you are? You're a phony! That's what you are. You're like to feel sorry for yourself.
Mary Lightcloud: Joe, don't lecture me!
Joe Lightcloud: Well, not me! If I goof I'm not gonna sit around and lick my wounds like some old hound dog, I'm gonna get out and do something about it - and fast!
Lorne Hawkins: Look at all the other people that made a go of it. Look at John Smith and Pocahontas!
Mary Lightcloud: Oh, Lorne!