La Feet's Defeat (1968)

Don Messick: Sergeant Deux-Deux

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Inspector : [taking a ringing telephone]  Yes?

  Commissioner : [on the phone]  Eenspectahr, cahme een to my office.

  Inspector : Right ahway, seer.

  [Inspector walks into the Commissioner's office and Deux Deux opens the door and let him in] 

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : Oh, what a wonderrrful guy to worrrk with!

• Inspector : Yes, Cahmmeessionair?

  Commissioner : I hahve just learnt zat Muddy La Feet hahs escahped frahm preesahn. Ahnd I ahm ahssigneeng you to breeng heem een. But be cahreful. He's very treecky.

  Inspector : Dahn't wahrry, seer. I'll hahve heem bahck behind bahrs een no time.

  [walks into outside] 

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : Oh! Dat Inspectorrr! JHe's too much, dat guy.

• Inspector : Well, Sergeant Deux-Deux, whaht do you mahke of ziss?

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : I bet jhe's in dat ssack.

  Inspector : Good sinkeeng, Deux-Deux. Now, because you need ze experience, I'm going to let you hahve ze threell of cahptureeng heem.

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : Oh, grrracias, senor Inspectorrr.

• Inspector : You wait here where you'll be sahfe. I'll tahke cahre of Muddy La Feet myself.

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : You know? Dey don't make guys like dat anymorrre.

  Inspector : [sees under the castle, and finds there are alligators in the river]  Deux-Deux?

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : Si, Inspectorrr?

  Inspector : I've decided to give you ahnahthair chahnce.

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : Oh, grrracias, senor Inspectorrr.

  Inspector : Ahll right, Deux-Deux. Dive een, sweem ahcrahss, ahnd let down ze drahwbreedge.

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : Si, Inspectorrr.

  [Inspector keeps whistling, while Deux-Deux dives into the river and screams. The drawbridge gets down and Inspector advances] 

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : Dit I do goot, Inspectorrr?

  Inspector : Very good, Deux-Deux. Howevair, I'd suggest zat you pay mahre ahttention to your ahppearahnce. Your uneefahrm ees a mess.

• Inspector : Ziss ees going to look bahd on your recahrd, Deux-Deux.

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : Si, Inspectorrr.

• Inspector : Hmm. Lahndmines. I'm proud of ze way you hahndled zat, Sergeant. So, I'm going to let you lead ze way.

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : Oh, gracias, Inspectorrr.

• Inspector : I must say you hahve ahn uncahnny knahck fahr lahcahteeng lahndmines, sergeant. How do you do eet?

  Sergeant Deux-Deux : I do not know. I am just lucky, I guess.