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"David Frost Presents" How to Irritate People (TV Episode 1969) Poster

Quotes

John Cleese: This ruthless concentration on one's self is a successful irritant widely practiced by women. A friend of mine once demonstrated this to me at a large party. He stood in the middle of the room and said very loudly, "The trouble with women is that they always take things personally." Four women immediately replied, "Well I Don't."

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PepperpotPepperpotPepperpot: Ooh! Well I never!

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Flight Attendant: Hang on, there's someone going into the washroom. Wait, he's in, he's in.

Flight AttendantBored PilotBored Pilot: Five, four, three, two, one.

Bored Pilot: Please return to your seats and fasten you safety belts immediately.

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Teddy: What animal makes the noise, "meow?"

Mrs.Maurice: A car?

Teddy: Nearly! Ca... ca... ca...

Mrs.Maurice: Ca... ca... bus?

Teddy: No. Ca... ca...

Mrs.Maurice: Aeroplane?

Teddy: No, no! Ca... ca... ca...

Mrs.Maurice: Ca... ca... ca... MOTOR TORPEDO BOAT!

Teddy: NO, NO, NO! Ha, ha, ha... bad luck, Mrs. Morris, jolly good try. No, Mrs. Morris, what ANIMAAAAAAL... ha, ha... makes the noise "meow?"

Mrs.Maurice: Oh, that's easy. A cat.

Teddy: A what?

Mrs.Maurice: A cat!

Teddy: Then why did you say "motor torpedo boat?"

Mrs.Maurice: I'M 943!

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Bored Pilot: Please find the emergency spill in the washroom at the back and release it!

Bored Pilot: But do not unfasten your safety belt!

Flight Attendant: That's got 'em back to their seats.

Bored Pilot: The emergency spill must be released!

Bored Pilot: But do not leave your seats!

Bored Pilot: Do not panic!

Bored Pilot: Tea will be served.

Bored Pilot: Inflate your lifejackets!

Bored Pilot: And extinguish all cigarettes!

Bored Pilot: Please remove the luggage from the racks above your heads and please it on the other side of the aircraft.

Bored Pilot: Except for hand luggage...

Bored Pilot: Which you should sit on!

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John Cleese: Why would you want to watch this? It's a costume thing.

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Various: I'm kicking myself.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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