Edit
Candy (1968) Poster

(1968)

Quotes

General R.A. Smight: You can't give blood to a member of your own family.

Jack Christian: Why can't I?

General R.A. Smight: Why can't you? Why can't you?

Jack Christian: That was my question, yes.

General R.A. Smight: Well because that's, that's... That's incest.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

T.M. Christian: Now look you people! This isn't some godforsaken border town where you can just, uh, go about as you please and, and bother innocent people and do... do... do... Mexican things!

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

T.M. Christian: I know what the kids call me behind my back.

Candy Christian: The kids don't call you anything behind your back, daddy.

T.M. Christian: That's exactly what I mean. All the other teachers in this school have nicknames. I'm just plain old Mr. Christian.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. A.B. Krankheit: [standing directly behind Candy while holding her hips] Now bend forward slowly.

Candy Christian: [while bending] Ah-Oooooooooo.

Dr. A.B. Krankheit: I'll tell you when to say Oooo.

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

MacPhisto: The poem that I just recited to you was composed in a hospital in Burma as I lay close to death, having been savagely beaten by a... a horde of outraged Belgian tourists. You will find this poem in my collected verse entitled... "Forests of Flesh".

2 of 2 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Grindl: [Candy lies before Grindl] There is a place where the immutable self resides. We must search. Now, could it be here?

[places hands on Candy's head]

Grindl: No, I do not think so. Perhaps it is here.

[squeezes Candy's right breast]

Candy Christian: [surprised] m-m-m-m-m-mmm.

Grindl: No, wrong again

[squeezes Candy's left breast]

Candy Christian: Mmmm-m-ah.

Grindl: No. Or here.

[grabs Candy's crotch]

Candy Christian: [sharp intake of breath] No. I think, I mean it seems to me couldn't be there

Grindl: I think it is. So soon, we found it so soon! It must be a sign!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

MacPhisto: I... am MacPhisto.

Candy Christian: Hello, I am Candy, Candy Christian.

MacPhisto: Candy... beautiful name, it has the spirit and the sound of the Old Testament.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

MacPhisto: Oh for God's sake, Need can't be kept waiting. Need is here. Need... is now!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

[repeated line]

Emmanuel: Emmanuel is good boy!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jack Christian: Hey, did you see this one on the first bike?

Livia: She looks like an ad in that magazine you get.

Jack Christian: Whips and Chains?

Livia: No, the other one, Leatherladies.

Jack Christian: Oh, you're right, she does!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

General R.A. Smight: Who were they, hm? I couldn't see much down there but I could see enough to tell that they were scum. Were they Albanians?

Jack Christian: Oh, no, no, no it was just a personal thing.

General R.A. Smight: I got a nose for Albanians. They looked like Albanians to me.

Jack Christian: No, no, they were just some Mexicans.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

General R.A. Smight: [after his men have just counted off] Pretty damned impressive, right?

Jack Christian: I'll say. All those men counting right up to 24 without a single mistake.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Candy Christian: War certainly seems to be hell.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jack Christian: Nobody loves your daddy any more than I do. I'd chop off my right arm for him.

Livia: You're left handed.

Jack Christian: Well, that's beside the point.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. A.B. Krankheit: His mental capacity will be reduced to the level comparable to that of a rather mature cucumber.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. A.B. Krankheit: Good God, Harris, watch what you're doing! You're a brain surgeon, not a gynecologist!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Candy Christian: This hospital is filled with very sick people!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. A.B. Krankheit: You must remember that scientifically speaking the only difference between life and death is that death lasts a lot longer.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Arnold Dunlap: I majored in abnormal psychology and I know orgies when I see them. I also know depravity and indecency and, I might ad, in flagrante delicto!

Candy Christian: I don't know what that means.

Dr. Arnold Dunlap: It means that you are to leave this place immediately.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. Arnold Dunlap: In my book you are a tart! A tramp! A trollop! A... teenager.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Nurse Bullock: You'd better let go of me or I'll break every bone in your pelvis.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Dr. A.B. Krankheit: You're trying to out diagnose a world renowned surgeon who has attended eight institutions of higher education and who has more degrees than a thermometer.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jonathan J. John: I have now filmed 112 people saying the word 'no'.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Candy Christian: But I don't know anything about acting.

Jonathan J. John: Neither does the Grand Canyon, but that doesn't keep anyone from looking at it.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Charlie the cop: Did you see what happened to the girl in the blue dress?

Jonathan J. John: Who directed it?

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Hunchback juggler: Now, rubadubdub.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Charlie the cop: [the Hunchback juggler has just disappeared through a painting] Just one of those old, stereo-realists tricks, Sarge.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Grindl: Do not put your material shoes under holy water!

Candy Christian: What shall I do with them?

Grindl: Throw them into the material world!

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Candy Christian: Gosh!

Grindl: Gosh isn't the half of it.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Grindl: They say in my country that the centipede has a thousand legs but he cannot tapdance.

Candy Christian: I don't quite see the connection.

Grindl: Well, it loses a little something in translation.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

MacPhisto: I wonder if you'd allow me to drive you home.

Candy Christian: That would be nice.

MacPhisto: Where do you live?

Candy Christian: Eighty three fifty seven and a half Schweitzer Terrace.

MacPhisto: Uhh. Zero, can you find eighty three...

Candy Christian: Fifty seven and a half.

MacPhisto: Fifty seven and a half Schweitzer Terrace.

Zero: Got ya, man.

MacPhisto: That was Zero.

Candy Christian: Your driver?

MacPhisto: No, my friend. Several years ago, I was on a lectured tour of the Congo. One day after having delivered some of my works to Earl, an audience of not less than seven hundred "gonorite" warriors, a uh, uh, a fierce but poet loving tribe. I stumbled out into a clearing and saw an unfortunate native being attacked by a giant bush python. The man was already half digested when I ran to him, took him by the shoulders and tore him from the jaws of the slavering beast, and destroyed the animal with one slash of my ball-point pen. After sixteen delicate operations on his feet and mind, Zero was able to walk again. We have been together ever since.

Candy Christian: I saw that story Tuesday night on the TV movie of the week.

MacPhisto: In that case, I saved Zero from a lunch mob three years ago in Shreveport, Louisiana. The rope was already about his neck and then I started speaking my epic, The Brotherhood of Man in English, and then, and then in Welsh. It changed their minds and their lives. There is now a fully integrated school system in Shreveport, Louisiana. And Zero and I...

Candy Christian: Have been together ever since?

MacPhisto: Exactly.

1 of 1 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page