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You Only Live Twice (1967) Poster

Quotes

Blofeld: I shall look forward personally to exterminating you, Mr. Bond.

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Blofeld: James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong.

James Bond: Yes, this is my second life.

Blofeld: You only live twice, Mr. Bond.

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[Being bathed by Tanaka's women]

Tiger Tanaka: You know what it is about you that fascinates them, don't you? It's the hair on your chest. Japanese men all have beautiful bare skin.

James Bond: Japanese proverb say, "Bird never make nest in bare tree."

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Helga Brandt: [Bond is captured by Helga Brandt] I've got you now.

James Bond: Well, enjoy yourself.

[Brandt slaps him]

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[about to make love to Helga Brandt]

James Bond: Oh the things I do for England.

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Tiger Tanaka: It can save your life, this cigarette.

James Bond: You sound like a commercial.

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Blofeld: The firing power inside my crater is enough to annihilate a small army. You can watch it all on TV. It's the last program you're likely to see.

James Bond: Well, if I'm gonna be forced to watch television, may I smoke?

Blofeld: Yes. Give him his cigarettes. It won't be the nicotine that kills you, Mr. Bond.

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[Bond has just sent Blofeld's henchman into the water. The piranhas immediately attack him]

James Bond: Bon appetit!

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Tiger Tanaka: Permit me to introduce myself. I am Tanaka. Please call me Tiger.

James Bond: If you're Tanaka, then how do you feel about me?

Tiger Tanaka: [the code response] I... love you.

James Bond: Well, I'm glad we got that out of the way.

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Tiger Tanaka: My friend, now you take your first civilized bath.

James Bond: Really?

[Bond is surrounded by four young Japanese women wearing only white bras and panties]

James Bond: Oh, I like the plumbing.

Tiger Tanaka: Place yourself entirely in their hands, my dear Bond-san. Rule number one: is never do anything yourself - when someone else can do it for you.

James Bond: And number two?

Tiger Tanaka: Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.

James Bond: I just might retire to here.

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James Bond: Do you have any commandos here?

Tiger Tanaka: I have much, much better. Ninjas. Top-secret, Bond-san. This is my ninja training school.

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Blofeld: Goodbye, Mr. Bond!

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[Choosing a masseuse]

James Bond: Well, I'll just settle for this little old lady here.

Tiger Tanaka: Good choice, she's very sexyful.

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Tiger Tanaka: I must say I am disappointed with the ease with which I could pull you in. The one thing my honourable mother taught me long ago was never to get into a car with a strange girl. But you, I'm afraid, will get into anything. With any girl.

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Blofeld: You will see that my piranha fish get very hungry. They can strip a man to the bone in 30 seconds. I have decided to ask for a little money in advance. I want the sum of 100 million dollars in gold bullion deposited in our account in Buenos Aires.

Blofeld's Financier: Our agreement states quite clearly that no money should be paid until war has broken out between Russia and the United States.

Financier #2: This is extortion!

Blofeld: [shows his SPECTRE ring] Extortion is my business. Go and think it over, gentlemen. I'm busy.

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Blofeld: As you can see, I am about to inaugurate a little war. In a matter of hours after America and Russia have annihilated each other. We shall see a new power dominating the world.

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Henderson: [Hands Bond a martini] Oh, that's stirred, not shaken. That was right, wasn't it?

James Bond: Perfect. Cheers.

Henderson: Cheers.

James Bond: Russian vodka. Well done.

Henderson: Yeah, I get it from the doorman at the Russian embassy - amongst certain other things.

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Mr. Osato: You should give up smoking. Cigarettes are very bad for your chest.

Helga Brandt: Mr. Osato believes in a healthy chest.

[Bond eyes Helga's breasts]

James Bond: Really?

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Tiger Tanaka: [to James Bond] Welcome to Japan, Mr. Bond.

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Aki: No one will disturb you tonight. I think I will enjoy very much serving under you.

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James Bond: Is this the only room there is?

Kissy Suzuki: Yes. That is your bed,

[points to one side of room]

Kissy Suzuki: I shall sleep over there.

[points to other side of room]

James Bond: But we're supposed to be married.

Kissy Suzuki: Think again, please. You gave false name to priest.

James Bond: Yes, but we must keep up appearances. We're on our honeymoon.

Kissy Suzuki: No honeymoon. This is business.

James Bond: [pushing aside his oyster dinner] Well, I won't need these.

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Aki: You wouldn't touch that horrible woman, would you?

James Bond: Oh heaven forbid.

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[Coded message to headquarters]

James Bond: Little Nelly got a hot reception. Four big shots made improper advances toward her, but she defended her honor with great success.

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Russian Diplomat: The world knows we are a peace-loving people.

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Blofeld: [shows the x-ray of the PPK to Osato & Brandt] Only one person we know uses this sort of gun. James Bond.

Mr. Osato: But Bond is dead!

Helga Brandt: It was in all the newspapers!

Blofeld: Rubbish. Bond is alive. Unless you killed him, Mr. Osato. Don't tell me you let him go.

Mr. Osato: I gave Number 11 the strictest orders to eliminate him.

Blofeld: And did she?

Mr. Osato: She failed.

Helga Brandt: [to Osato] *You* should have killed him yourself. You had plenty of opportunities...

Blofeld: This organization does not tolerate failure.

Mr. Osato: I know, but do you see I...

Blofeld: Go!

[Osato crosses the bridge over the water where the piranhas are waiting]

Blofeld: [addressing Helga] Well.

[Helga starts across. Blofeld hits a pedal that causes the bridge bottom to drop out, sending Helga into the piranha-filled water. The lethal fish immediately converge on her and she is dead in seconds. Osato looks on in horror]

Blofeld: [addressing Osato] Kill Bond! Now!

Mr. Osato: Yes, Number One! Yes. Yes, yes.

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[James is in bed with a Ling, a Chinese woman]

James Bond: Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?

Ling: You think we better, huh?

James Bond: No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both.

Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck.

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[Bond is caught trying to enter the SPECTRE spacecraft]

Blofeld: You made a mistake, my friend. No astronaut would enter the capsule carrying his air conditioner.

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[Bond is about to have his chest waxed so he can pass for Japanese]

James Bond: Why don't you just dye the parts that show?

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[last lines]

Submarine Captain: Dinghy's on board, sir.

M: [referring to Bond in the dinghy] Tell him to come below and report.

MoneyPenny: It'll be a pleasure, sir.

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Tiger Tanaka: [after Tiger's helicopter drops an enemy car chasing Bond and Aki into the Pacific ocean] How's that for Japanese efficiency?

James Bond: Just a drop in the ocean.

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Foreign Secretary: As a matter of fact, our man in Hong Kong is working on it now.

[cuts to next scene in Hong Kong, Bond is in bed with a Chinese woman]

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Tiger Tanaka: [discussing Osato Chemicals' supertanker, the Ning Po, which is known to be smuggling rocket fuel] We shadowed the Ning Po to the outer islands.

Aki: It was very dark. Hard to see her all the time.

Tiger Tanaka: But we know she stopped somewhere. Look at these photos.

[Tiger hands James photos of the Ning Po]

Aki: Look at the water line.

James Bond: [noticing the higher water line of the ship in seperate photos] You're right. Fully laden here, and empty here.

James Bond: [getting up] I want to take a look at the island now. Is Little Nellie here?

Tiger Tanaka: Yes. And her father.

[James, Aki, and Tiger enter a nearby garage where an agitated and sweating Q is waiting]

James Bond: [sarcastically] Welcome to Japan, Dad. Is my little girl hot and ready?

Q: [annoyed] Look, 007, I've had a long and tiring journey, probably to no purpose, so I'm in no mood for juvenile quips.

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M: [buzzing intercom] Miss Moneypenny, give 007 the password we've agreed with Japanese S.I.S.

MoneyPenny: Yes sir.

[to Bond]

MoneyPenny: We tried to think of something that you wouldn't forget.

James Bond: Yes?

MoneyPenny: "I, love, you". Repeat it please, to make sure you get it

James Bond: Don't worry, I get it.

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James Bond: Uggghhh... Siamese vodka?

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Hong Kong Policeman #2: [finding Bond 'dead' in girl's bed] At least he died on the job... he would have wanted it that way.

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Houston CapCom: Hawaii to Jupiter 16. Repeat: Hawaii to Jupiter 16. There is an unidentified object on our screen, closing fast.

Astronaut - American Spacecraft #1: [Performing an EVA] We see nothing. Can you give me a bearing?

Houston CapCom: Appears to be coming up fast from astern

Astronaut - American Spacecraft #1: Hey, NOW I see it. It's another spacecraft! I repeat: it's ANOTHER SPACECRAFT!

Houston CapCom: Chris, this is flight. Does it look like a close pass?

Astronaut - American Spacecraft #1: You're breaking up. Say again!

Houston CapCom: Repeat: Does it look like a close pass?

Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: [inside spacecraft] Hey Chris what's happening?

Astronaut - American Spacecraft #1: Flight, it's coming right at us! The FRONT is OPENING UP! I REPEAT: THE FRONT IS OPENING UP! It's coming right at us...

Houston CapCom: Chris, Get back in! Get back in!

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James Bond: Hello, Penny.

MoneyPenny: You better go right in. You're late, as usual - even from your own funeral.

James Bond: Well, we corpses have absolutely no sense of timing.

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MoneyPenny: Oh, by the way, how was the girl?

James Bond: Which girl?

MoneyPenny: The Chinese one we fixed you up with.

James Bond: Oh, another five minutes, I'd have found out.

MoneyPenny: She'll never know what she missed.

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Tiger Tanaka: You are James Bond, aren't you? I am so very pleased to meet you Bond-san. I really am. Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Tanaka. Please call me Tiger.

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James Bond: I'd like you to examine these as soon as possible. They're from Osato's safe.

Tiger Tanaka: This is an order for naval stores. 500 kilos of butter. 50 containers of lox. What is lox?

James Bond: Oh, it's American name for smoked salmon. But, it's also the technical name for liquid oxygen - which makes rocket fuel.

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Tiger Tanaka: You like Japanese sake, Mr. Bond? Or, would you prefer a vodka martini?

James Bond: Oh, no. I like sake. Especially when it's served at the correct temperature: 98.4 degrees fahrenheit like this is.

Tiger Tanaka: For a European, you are exceptionally cultivated.

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Tiger Tanaka: [Three young Japanese women giving Bond a bath] Your English girls would never perform this simple service.

James Bond: I think I know one or two who might get around to it.

Tiger Tanaka: Miss Moneypenny, perhaps?

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James Bond: The last time someone gave me a massage, it was in Hong Kong. But, unfortunately, I had to cut it short. We were rudely interrupted by a couple of gunmen. So, we never got 'round to finishing it.

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Helga Brandt: A Dom Perignon '59, Mr. Fisher? Are you really sure you won't change your mind?

James Bond: [Posing as Mr. Fisher] Well, if you insist.

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Tiger Tanaka: Chasing girls will be the end of you, Bond-san. I have told you that before.

Aki: He didn't chase her! He did it so that I could get away. He wouldn't touch that horrible girl. You wouldn't, would you?

James Bond: Oh, heaven forbid.

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Tiger Tanaka: I have my curiosity, Bond-san. What is little Nellie?

James Bond: Oh, she's a wonderful girl. Very small. Quite fast. Can do anything. Just your type.

Tiger Tanaka: A toy helicopter?

Q: No, it's certainly not a toy!

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Q: [Showing Bond the improvements to little Nellie, his one-man, open-air, helicopter] Right. Now, pay attention. Two machine guns, fixed.

James Bond: Synchronized to what?

Q: A hundred yards when using incendiaries and high explosives. Two rocket launchers. Forward-firing on either side.

James Bond: Fine.

Q: Now, these fire heat-seeking air-to-air missiles - sixty a minute.

James Bond: Good.

Q: Flame guns. Two of them. Firing astern.

James Bond: What range?

Q: Eighty yards. Two smoke ejectors next door to them. Aerial mines. Now, remember, use them only when directly above target. That's about the lot, I think. You know the rest, don't you?

James Bond: Yes.

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James Bond: Hello, Base One. There's nothing here but volcanoes.

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James Bond: What's the plan for me?

Tiger Tanaka: First, you become a Japanese. Second, you train hard and quickly to become a ninja - like us. And third, to give you extra special cover - you take a wife.

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[first lines]

Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: Calling CapCom. CapCom, this is Jupiter 16. Do you give a go for fourth orbit.

Houston CapCom: CapCom to Jupiter 16. Can you confirm O2 pressure is within limit.

Astronaut - 1st American Spacecraft: Roger. Everything looks good in the environmental control system.

Houston CapCom: Okay. Everything looks good from here. You have a go for fourth orbit.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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