To honour her father's dying wish, Queen Salina shares the rule of Icena with Justinian, a fair and just Roman. This displeases the bloodthirsty Druids on one side and the more hard-line ... See full summary »
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To honour her father's dying wish, Queen Salina shares the rule of Icena with Justinian, a fair and just Roman. This displeases the bloodthirsty Druids on one side and the more hard-line Romans on the other. As Salina and Justinian fall in love their enemies start to plot, and blood soon stains the green hills of Britain. Written by
Jeremy Perkins <firstname.lastname@example.org>
When Don Chaffey directed the historically ludicrous and rather camp dinosaur epic One Million Years B.C., he cleverly distracted viewers from the film's sillier aspects through the use of stunning stop-motion creature effects, and Racquel Welch's even more stunning chest. The result was a completely daft, but thoroughly entertaining piece of schlock cinema.
With The Viking Queen, an equally silly and factually inaccurate sword and sandal movie, he once again uses 'big breast diversion tactics'only this time with less successful results. Perhaps Chaffey should have thrown caution to the wind and chucked in a T-rex or two!
Beautiful, pillow-chested model Carina plays Celtic Queen (yes... Celtic!) Salina of the Iceni, who is forced to pick up a sword and fight the Romans, despite the fact that her lover, Justinian, is their leader. Carina sure is gorgeous, but even her breath-taking looks and marvellous physique are not enough to prevent one from noticing her wooden acting, the dreadful script, and plodding direction.
Stay the course, and you will be treated to a couple of unintentionally hilarious scenes (of which the lowering of Romans into a fiery pit was my favourite), a smattering of partial nudity (nipple tassles spoil the fun), and a silly battle with Boudicca-style warrior women in chariots (with blades on the wheels) attacking Romans with glee.
But even these enjoyably dumb moments cannot stop The Viking Queen from being a merely mediocre effort.
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