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How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (1967) Poster

Quotes

Gertrude Biggley: What's nepotism?

J. B. Biggley: That's when your nephew's a damn poop!

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Miss Jones: What's your name?

J. Pierpont Finch: Finch, F-I-N-C-H. J. Pierpont Finch.

Miss Jones: Well, why haven't I seen you before?

J. Pierpont Finch: Well, ma'am, I'm not supposed to deliver the executive mail. That's his job. Bud Frump, F-R-U-M-P.

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J. B. Biggley: I know blood is thicker than water, but Bud Frump is thicker than anything.

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J. B. Biggley: I like the way you thinch, Fink.

[Long pause]

J. Pierpont Finch: That's "think, Finch."

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Hedy LaRue: I have nothing to hide!

Rosemary: Yes you do, and you keep it hidden!

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[There is music when Finch thinks of Rosemary]

J. Pierpont Finch: Can't you hear it? It's all around me, it's like a beautiful pink sky.

Rosemary: J. Pierpont Finch, what are you...

J. Pierpont Finch: Rosemary, darling, will you please marry J. Pierpont Finch?

Rosemary: NOW I hear it.

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J. Pierpont Finch: Just remember, Wally, we're all brothers.

J. B. Biggley: Some of us are uncles.

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J. Pierpont Finch: Be patient? Don't you realize I've been working here... well, two whole hours now?

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J. Pierpont Finch: What are you taking that down in?

Hedy LaRue: Long hand. It's safer. I make up for it when I type.

J. Pierpont Finch: Oh, you type fast.

Hedy LaRue: Like a jack rabbit - 12 words a minute.

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Rosemary: Lunch.

J. Pierpont Finch: Huh?

Rosemary: I said, "Lunch."

J. Pierpont Finch: What about "lunch"?

Rosemary: I'd love to!

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[Song lyrics]

Smitty: Now she's thinking:

Rosemary: I wish that he were more of a flirt.

Smitty: And he's thinking:

J. Pierpont Finch: I guess a little flirting won't hurt.

Smitty: Now she's thinking:

Rosemary: For dinner we could meet.

Smitty: And he's thinking:

J. Pierpont Finch: We both've gotta eat.

Smitty: And she says:

Rosemary: [Sneezes]

Smitty: And he says:

J. Pierpont Finch: Gesundheit... well, it's been a long day.

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Mr. Twimble: Last month I became a quarter-of-a-century man.

J. Pierpont Finch: Oh, that's beautiful, a quarter-of-a-century.

Mr. Twimble: Quarter-of-a-century.

J. Pierpont Finch: How long have you been in the mail room?

Mr. Twimble: Twenty-five years. It's not easy to get this medal. It takes a combination of skill, diplomacy, and bold caution.

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Mr. Gatch: Rosemary, seeing you always brightens my day. (He tries to kiss her)

Rosemary: Mr. Gatch!

Mr. Gatch: I'm gonna have to stop reading "Playboy."

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J. B. Biggley: I realize that I'm the president of this company, the man that's responsible for everything that goes on here. So, I want to state, right now, that anything that happened is not my fault.

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J. Pierpont Finch: I feel sorry for men who don't knit, they lead empty lives.

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J. Pierpont Finch: An emotional involvement can only lead to getting involved... emotionally.

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J. Pierpont Finch: This is the secret ingredient: it can't miss, I'm combining greed with sex.

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Hedy LaRue: A secretary was ordered to be assigned to you. I'm your assignation.

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Miss Jones: Your wife is on line 2, Mr. Biggley.

J. B. Biggley: Tell her I'm busy, tell her I'm in a meeting, tell her I'm out, damnit, put her on!

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Hedy LaRue: It is a far, far better thing I do than I have ever did before.

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TV Announcer: A day without a wicket is like a day without sunshine.

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J. Pierpont Finch: Mediocrity is not a mortal sin.

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J. Pierpont Finch: [Twimble is singing the praises of the company] The company restaurant?

Mr. Twimble: Every day, same lunch. The haddock sandwich, it's delicious!

J. Pierpont Finch: [Unimpressed] I must try it.

Mr. Twimble: [a warning] Early in the week.

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J. B. Biggley: Do you know who I am?

J. Pierpont Finch: No, sir.

J. B. Biggley: I'm J. B. Biggley, the President of this company, that's who I am. In fact, that's who the hell I am.

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Bud Frump: Are you ambitious, Finch?

J. Pierpont Finch: No, not necessarily.

Bud Frump: Good. You just keep that in mind. If you just remember who I am and who you are, we'll get along fine. If not...

Rosemary: You go crying to your uncle!

Bud Frump: I beg your pardon, I do not go crying to my uncle! It just happens my mother is Mrs. Biggley's sister. If I feel something's wrong, I phone my mother. She phones Mrs. Biggley, and Mrs. Biggley phones Mr. Biggley. That's the DEMOCRATIC way.

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Miss Jones: He was a nice boy, but somebody's head has to roll.

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Mr. Twimble: You never told me you hired your nephew.

J. B. Biggley: I never showed him any favoritism; in fact, I hate him.

Mr. Twimble: But you love his ideas.

J. B. Biggley: No. When he first told me the idea, told him it was a lousy idea. When Finch brought it to me, I still said it was a lousy idea. In fact, I told Finch it was a lousy idea.

Mr. Twimble: Why did you buy it?

J. B. Biggley: Seemed like a good idea.

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Bud Frump: If you have any ideas about climbing the ladder around here, Finch, the view is going to get awfully monotonous. Every time you look up, you're gonna see the seat of my pants!

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J. B. Biggley: Wally, who's going to be the new chairman of the board, as if I didn't know?

Bud Frump: I'll kill myself!

Mr. Twimble: [as Wally Womper] Ponty, it's your baby now.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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