Memorable quotes for
How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (1967) More at IMDbPro »

Gertrude Biggley: What's nepotism?
J. B. Biggley: That's when your nephew's a damn poop!
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Miss Jones: What's your name?
J. Pierpont Finch: Finch, F-I-N-C-H. J. Pierpont Finch.
Miss Jones: Well, why haven't I seen you before?
J. Pierpont Finch: Well, ma'am, I'm not supposed to deliver the executive mail. That's his job. Bud Frump, F-R-U-M-P.
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J. B. Biggley: I know blood is thicker than water, but Bud Frump is thicker than anything.
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J. B. Biggley: I like the way you thinch, Fink.
[Long pause]
J. Pierpont Finch: That's "think, Finch."
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Hedy LaRue: I have nothing to hide!
Rosemary: Yes you do, and you keep it hidden!
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[There is music when Finch thinks of Rosemary]
J. Pierpont Finch: Can't you hear it? It's all around me, it's like a beautiful pink sky.
Rosemary: J. Pierpont Finch, what are you ...
J. Pierpont Finch: Rosemary, darling, will you please marry J. Pierpont Finch?
Rosemary: NOW I hear it.
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J. Pierpont Finch: Just remember, Wally, we're all brothers.
J. B. Biggley: Some of us are uncles.
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J. Pierpont Finch: Be patient? Don't you realize I've been working here... well, two whole hours now?
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J. Pierpont Finch: What are you taking that down in?
Hedy LaRue: Long hand. It's safer. I make up for it when I type.
J. Pierpont Finch: Oh, you type fast.
Hedy LaRue: Like a jack rabbit - 12 words a minute.
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Rosemary: Lunch.
J. Pierpont Finch: Huh?
Rosemary: I said, "Lunch."
J. Pierpont Finch: What about "lunch"?
Rosemary: I'd love to!
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[Song lyrics]
Smitty: Now she's thinking:
Rosemary: I wish that he were more of a flirt.
Smitty: And he's thinking:
J. Pierpont Finch: I guess a little flirting won't hurt.
Smitty: Now she's thinking:
Rosemary: For dinner we could meet.
Smitty: And he's thinking:
J. Pierpont Finch: We both've gotta eat.
Smitty: And she says:
Rosemary: [Sneezes]
Smitty: And he says:
J. Pierpont Finch: Gesundheit... well, it's been a long day.
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Mr. Twimble: Last month I became a quarter-of-a-century man.
J. Pierpont Finch: Oh, that's beautiful, a quarter-of-a-century.
Mr. Twimble: Quarter-of-a-century.
J. Pierpont Finch: How long have you been in the mail room?
Mr. Twimble: Twenty-five years. It's not easy to get this medal. It takes a combination of skill, diplomacy, and bold caution.
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Mr. Gatch: Rosemary, seeing you always brightens my day. (He tries to kiss her)
Rosemary: Mr. Gatch!
Mr. Gatch: I'm gonna have to stop reading "Playboy."
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J. B. Biggley: I realize that I'm the president of this company, the man that's responsible for everything that goes on here. So, I want to state, right now, that anything that happened is not my fault.
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J. Pierpont Finch: I feel sorry for men who don't knit, they lead empty lives.
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J. Pierpont Finch: An emotional involvement can only lead to getting involved... emotionally.
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J. Pierpont Finch: This is the secret ingredient: it can't miss, I'm combining greed with sex.
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Hedy LaRue: A secretary was ordered to be assigned to you. I'm your assignation.
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Miss Jones: Your wife is on line 2, Mr. Biggley.
J. B. Biggley: Tell her I'm busy, tell her I'm in a meeting, tell her I'm out, damnit, put her on!
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Hedy LaRue: It is a far, far better thing I do than I have ever did before.
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TV Announcer: A day without a wicket is like a day without sunshine.
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J. Pierpont Finch: Mediocrity is not a mortal sin.
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J. Pierpont Finch: [Twimble is singing the praises of the company] The company restaurant?
Mr. Twimble: Every day, same lunch. The haddock sandwich, it's delicious!
J. Pierpont Finch: [Unimpressed] I must try it.
Mr. Twimble: [a warning] Early in the week.
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J. B. Biggley: Do you know who I am?
J. Pierpont Finch: No, sir.
J. B. Biggley: I'm J. B. Biggley, the President of this company, that's who I am. In fact, that's who the hell I am.
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Bud Frump: Are you ambitious, Finch?
J. Pierpont Finch: No, not necessarily.
Bud Frump: Good. You just keep that in mind. If you just remember who I am and who you are, we'll get along fine. If not ...
Rosemary: You go crying to your uncle!
Bud Frump: I beg your pardon, I do not go crying to my uncle! It just happens my mother is Mrs. Biggley's sister. If I feel something's wrong, I phone my mother. She phones Mrs. Biggley, and Mrs. Biggley phones Mr. Biggley. That's the DEMOCRATIC way.
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Miss Jones: He was a nice boy, but somebody's head has to roll.
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Mr. Twimble: You never told me you hired your nephew.
J. B. Biggley: I never showed him any favoritism; in fact, I hate him.
Mr. Twimble: But you love his ideas.
J. B. Biggley: No. When he first told me the idea, told him it was a lousy idea. When Finch brought it to me, I still said it was a lousy idea. In fact, I told Finch it was a lousy idea.
Mr. Twimble: Why did you buy it?
J. B. Biggley: Seemed like a good idea.
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