1.6/10
1,544
34 user 6 critic

Five the Hard Way (1969)

Motorcycle racer Rommel seeks vengeance against JC, a madman who murdered the sidehacker's fiancee.

Director:

Writers:

(screenplay) (as Tony Houston), (story)
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Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Rommel
...
Rita
...
J.C. (as Mike Pataki)
...
Luke
Claire Polan ...
Paisley
Edward Parrish ...
Nero
...
Cooch
...
Crapout
...
Jake (as Bob Tessier)
Eric Lidberg ...
Tork
Tony Lorea ...
Announcer
Erik Cord ...
Dirty John
Toni Moss ...
Lois
Diane Tessier ...
Debbie
Joey Tessier ...
Billy
Edit

Storyline

Motorcycle racer Rommel and his fiancée Rita become friendly with a biker gang led by the unstable J.C. When Rita is raped and murdered by J.C. in a jealous rage, Rommel gathers some biker pals and goes on a hunt for vengeance. Written by Marty McKee <mmckee@wkio.com>

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

HARD RIDERS! Mounted on Burning Steel! ... with only their leathers between THEM and HELL!

Genres:

Action | Sport

Certificate:

M | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:

 »
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Details

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

11 July 1970 (Sweden)  »

Also Known As:

The Side Hackers  »

Filming Locations:


Company Credits

Production Co:

,  »
Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

(Ryder Sound Services)

Color:

(Eastmancolor)

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1
See  »
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Did You Know?

Trivia

Goldie Hawn: an uncredited spectator at the end of the race in the beginning of the film. See more »


Soundtracks

Only Love
Written by Jerry Styner, Mike Curb and Guy Hemric
Performed by The New Life
See more »

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User Reviews

 
The film introduces us to a new sport before plunging us into a revenge piece
7 February 2004 | by See all my reviews

I saw this film on the cult riffing show Mystery Science Theater 3000 under the title of "The Sidehackers" which was not a very good title as the movie does start out as kind of an advertisement for this awesome new sport, but less than halfway in it changes over to a film about a guy trying to get revenge. Though, other than when it is on Mystery Science Theater it is probably more well known under the "Five the Hard Way" title. Not all that great of a film, but it is not as terrible as some of the films that were featured on the show.

The story starts off being kind of cheesy as it introduces us to the exciting new sport of Sidehacking, which has become so popular that most people have never heard of it unless they are fans of MST3K. Basically, you have a motorcycle with a sort of passenger cart, but instead of said passenger sitting he stands and leans into curves and such. Funny, as I do not really see how it is any more helpful than just simply just racing motorcycles as most motorcycles take turns better without the side hack. In fact, it looks like it slows down the race immensely rather than do anything exciting. About the only positive to say about the sport is that you may get to watch a person have his butt grounded up! Well, a man named Rommel is awesome at this rather bland sport and he runs a motorcycle repair shop where a man named JC comes in one day and takes an interest in the new sport and Rommel. Unfortunately for Rommel, JC's girlfriend also takes an interest in Rommel which is the cause of all the problems. Rommel and JC get along pretty good, but Rommel refuses to go on the road with JC and then to make matters worse, Rommel refuses to take the girlfriend away in a manner that ticks her off. He could have rejected her so much better by telling her she was great and all, but he had a fiancé. So the rejected girlfriend tells JC that Rommel put the moves on her and he beats down Rommel and kills Rommel's fiancé and thus Rommel tries to round up a bunch of guys to go after JC!

It made for a rather funny episode of MST3K; however, it was also kind of depressing. As bad as the movie was for the most part, you still felt bad for Rommel and wanted to see him get his revenge. At least I did. The jokes about the side hacking portion of the movie are funny and I love it when they were making fun of JC's henchman Cooch. I would almost like to see an uncut edition of the film as they had to have left out a couple of scenes as they show Rommel recruiting several men to take his revenge, but they also show a painter that did not join, but then had some kind of redneck type who did.

So a film that begins as an advertisement for a new sport that turns into a movie about getting revenge. Neither portion is particularly good; however, I would say the revenge portion is a bit better done as the parts with the motorcycles going around the track is about as exciting as seeing it in real life, which is to say, not very. At least the second portion had a groovy villain in JC and awesome henchmen that go, "I will do it". It also ends with a rather well done gunshot wound that looks rather good for the time, but it also makes this film rather depressing as the credits roll.


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