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Five the Hard Way (1969)

M  |   |  Action, Sport  |  May 1969 (USA)
1.6
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Ratings: 1.6/10 from 1,371 users  
Reviews: 30 user | 7 critic

Motorcycle racer Rommel seeks vengeance against JC, a madman who murdered the sidehacker's fiancee.

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Writers:

(story), (as Tony Houston)
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Edit

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
...
Vince Rommel
Diane McBain ...
Rita
...
J.C.
Dick Merrifield ...
Luke
Claire Polan ...
Paisley
Edward Parrish ...
Nero
Michael Graham ...
Cooch
...
Crapout
Diane Tessier ...
Debbie
...
Dirty John (as Eric Cord)
Eric Lidberg ...
Tork
Ivy Ross ...
Mechanic
Joey Tessier ...
Billy
...
Jake
Tony Lorea ...
Announcer
Edit

Storyline

Motorcycle racer Rommel and his fiancée Rita become friendly with a biker gang led by the unstable J.C. When Rita is raped and murdered by J.C. in a jealous rage, Rommel gathers some biker pals and goes on a hunt for vengeance. Written by Marty McKee <mmckee@wkio.com>

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis

Taglines:

HARD RIDERS! Mounted on Burning Steel! ... with only their leathers between THEM and HELL!

Genres:

Action | Sport

Certificate:

M | See all certifications »
Edit

Details

Country:

Language:

Release Date:

May 1969 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

The Side Hackers  »

Filming Locations:


Company Credits

Production Co:

 »
Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs

Runtime:

Sound Mix:

(Ryder Sound Services)

Color:

(Eastmancolor)

Aspect Ratio:

2.35 : 1
See  »
Edit

Did You Know?

Trivia

Directorial debut of Gus Trikonis. See more »


Soundtracks

Five the Hard Way
Written by Jerry Styner and Guy Hemric
Performed by The New Life
See more »

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User Reviews

A movie with no redeeming qualities

Some movies are badly made but somehow charming in their incompetence. Some movies are disturbing but thought-provoking. Some movies just plain stink, but are good for a laugh if you're sitting around with your buddies altering your brain chemistry with substances of varying degrees of legality.

Then there's "Sidehackers", starring Ross Hagen, the Budget Steve McQueen, who wears a ridiculous little hat, and races a motorcycle with a funny side car (the "sidehacking" of the title). Budget Steve also likes to frolic in the tall grass and grunt and gurgle and murmur with his adoring fiancee, the lovely Rita. But when B.S. gets on the wrong side of J.C. (Michael Pataki, who usually plays Cold-War-era Soviet bad guys of various types), he gets the beating of his life. As for Rita, ... well, I just would rather not talk about that. Anyway, Budget Steve vows revenge, and....

Oh, what's the point! This movie is so devoid of any meaning, it doesn't really even matter what happens next. Suffice to say that I've seen sick films, violent films, and gruesome films, but I've never seen anything as pointlessly nihilistic as this one. Sartre would be bummed out watching this movie!

Incredibly, Joel & the 'bots managed to make a side-splittingly funny MST300 episode out of this one. Guess it just goes to show you - existential nausea makes for great comedy!


16 of 20 people found this review helpful.  Was this review helpful to you?

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Non-MST3K/ Unedited Version? coolgamer167
Where the film was shot (and left for dead) mschmidtswim
How about a remake? bearbloke
available as part of the collection... ksf-2
No mention of Ross Hagen at the 2012 Oscars scottishvalkyrie
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