You're a Big Boy Now (1966)
Margery Chanticleer: Remember my promise: If you don't smoke until you're 21, I'll give you a special no-smoking present. Say goodbye to Rover, he's heartbroken.
Bernard Chanticleer: Goodbye, Dog.
Margery Chanticleer: Don't eat too much, don't stay out too late, don't go to suspicious places to play cards, and stay away from girls. But most of all, Bernard, try to be happy.
[Raef recites a poem of his]
Raef Del Grado: Oh, don't you think it's very odd, That we should kneel and pray to god, When by all accounts, we might, Send our problems up by kite!
Miss Thing: Last week I was 19. Today I'm 42. If I had an eggshell for every day I'd spent alone, I'd have a lot of eggshells.
[I.H. notices his wife sobbing over an antique bible]
I. H. Chanticleer: Margery, your lint is settling on the Guttenberg Bible.
Bernard Chanticleer: Aw, to hell with you're Guttenberg Bible. I hate your Guttenberg Bible!
[Barbara takes a cigarette out of Bernard's mouth]
Barbara Darling: You like those coffin nails too much. Better watch out. Better not cough.
Raef Del Grado: You absolutely must not use the book elevator, Bernard.
Bernard Chanticleer: Who is she?
Raef Del Grado: It's illegal, it's dangerous and it'll only get you to trouble.
Raef Del Grado: When you call your father 'dad' are you really thinking 'daddy'?
Barbara Darling: You're perfect.
Bernard Chanticleer: Me?
Barbara Darling: Absolutely hunky dory perfect. You're just what I need in my life.
Raef Del Grado: Double trouble. Specially when it's your father and he has eyes everywhere.
Miss Thing: I wanted you to know that I run a respectable apartment building.
I. H. Chanticleer: Well, I run a respectable son.
Bernard Chanticleer: What's wrong with me?
Barbara Darling: Nothing that a firing squad couldn't fix it.
Barbara Darling: Take off your jacket. Relax.
Barbara Darling: Would you like a drink? Coffee?
Bernard Chanticleer: Coffee? A drink. Maybe better coffee. I mean, a drink of coffee.
Barbara Darling: I know what's wrong with you. You would like a glass of milk! But you're afraid to ask for because you'll think Barbara will think you're a little boy. But it's alright. You can ask Barbara for a glass of milk and she'll bring it to you. Go on. Ask Barbara for a glass of milk. Say: I want a glass of milk.
Bernard Chanticleer: I want a glass of milk.
Barbara Darling: You see? See how easy, sunshine?
Bernard Chanticleer: Can you hear me, dad?
I. H. Chanticleer: I'll see you in my office right now, big boy.
Bernard Chanticleer: Well, gosh, I'm lonely and young. I'm always lonely even when I'm with people. Specially when I'm with people.
Amy Partlett: [about Bernard's father making a pass at her] It was terrible.
Bernard Chanticleer: My poor mother.
Amy Partlett: Poor me!
Bernard Chanticleer: What's her name?
Raef Del Grado: Darling. Barbara Darling. C'mon Bernard. A.P. is waiting for you.
Bernard Chanticleer: A.P.? Who is A.P.?
Raef Del Grado: Another Problem.
Miss Thing: [Shocked, upon seeing an old painting that shows some nudity] Oh, that filthy thing! Ohh!
I. H. Chanticleer: Oh, yes. One of the finest examples of incunabula in the collection. It's very rare.
Miss Thing: [Indignantly] I'll thank you to keep your incunabula to yourself!
Bernard Chanticleer: [Referring to Barbara's job as a go-go dancer] Why do you have to work there? Everybody looks up your dress. Don't you feel guilty?
Barbara Darling: Look, Bernie baby, I haven't known you too long, but it seems to me that you're getting to be a regular noodge. Remember when you wrote that sweet letter to me? I thought you'd be a person that would be FUN to be with.
Margery Chanticleer: [Suggesting the family get away together and go to Cape Cod] You love Cape Cod. We'll go swimming every day...
Bernard Chanticleer: [Pushing her away] I HATE Cape Cod! I don't want to go anywhere WITH you, I want to get AWAY from you... I'll take "Dog".
Margery Chanticleer: Well, Rover is gone forever. Someone stole him!
Bernard Chanticleer: His name is "Dog". D-O-G DOG! He's my dog and that's what I chose to name him: DOG! I could have named him Rover, or Spot, or Fido or anything, but I didn't! I named him DOG!
Jailer: [as he unlocks and opens Bernard's jail cell] Out you go.
Bernard Chanticleer: Why?
Jailer: You're out in custody. Your bail's been paid.
Bernard Chanticleer: [after a thoughtful pause] I've been in the custody of my parents for almost twenty years now. And they've taught me nothing but self-doubt, frustration, and perpetual guilt. I'm going to be in my own custody from now on. I won't go!
Jailer: A nice-lookin' girl paid it.
Bernard Chanticleer: I'll go!
[Gets up and walks out]