The Silencers (1966)
[after Gail had splashed water on Matt, she then spills a drink on him after falling over when he's lighting her cigarette]
Gail Hendrix: Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Matt Helm: Yeah, I know you are.
Matt Helm: I couldn't help noticing, but, these are your clothes?
Barbara: What if they are?
Matt Helm: Oh, I know you have a headache but don't take it out on me, I mean, what should I do with these?
Barbara: [in a breathy voice] Just throw them anywhere. I won't be needing them 'til morning.
Tina aka Cowboy: This is just like old times.
Matt Helm: Yeah, especially with that body on the floor.
[Pointing to Barbara in the background, who has just been shot twice in the back by Tina]
Tina aka Cowboy: What do we do with *her*?
Matt Helm: You put her on ice, let ICE take care of it.
Tina aka Cowboy: And what happens when the maid walks in, in the morning?
Matt Helm: You know, you're right. Let's put her in my bed, so we don't arouse suspicion.
[Matt and Tina start walking towards Barbara's body, cut]
Tina aka Cowboy: [after Matt has a wet first encounter with Gail at the swimming pool] I can't leave you alone for a second, can I?
Matt Helm: Not if you want to keep me dry.
Tina aka Cowboy: [Discussing Gail] Quite a girl.
Matt Helm: That is not a girl, Tina. That's a disaster area.
Gail Hendrix: I want some music.
[Gail turns on car radio, Frank Sinatra's "Come Fly With Me" plays]
Matt Helm: Oh, turn him off, he's terrible!
[Gail changes the station, Dean Martin's "Everybody Loves Somebody" plays]
Matt Helm: Now that's a guy that can sing!
Matt Helm: Don't you think we should be introduced first?
Barbara: You're Matt Helm.
Matt Helm: Good enough for me.
Matt Helm: But I've been on leave from I.C.E. for a long time. As far as I'm concerned, I am out of it.
Tina: [pouring herself a drink] You're never out of Ice.
Tina: [concerned about a sniper outside] But what happens if he hits the gas tank?
Matt Helm: Smokey the Bear won't like it. Get in.
Tina: Are you on a vacation?
Gail Hendrix: Oh well, eh, I was on a tour, a sight-seeing tour. But eh, the man in charge of our group kept taking me places that weren't in the brochure.
Matt Helm: Where was that?
Gail Hendrix: His room.
Matt Helm: [to Tina] Making love to you is like playing Russian Roulette.
Gail Hendrix: Mr. Helm, now do I look like an enemy agent?
Matt Helm: Well I dunno, I haven't seen the latest models yet.
Gail Hendrix: You undressed me once and I didn't like it.
Matt Helm: Now you're confusing romance with first aid.
Tina: [trying to get Matt to switch sides] You'll just die...
Matt Helm: Not in your bed.
Tina: What better place is there?
Matt Helm: Well, they finally figured out how to get blood out of a stone...
Matt Helm: [to Gail] You know, if you were an Indian, Custer would still be alive.
Tina aka Cowboy: [after Matt has opened his gun cabinet and flipped it around to reveal even more weapons] Who designed this house? Smith and Wesson?
Tung-Tze: [to Matt] The explosion will raise a cloud of radioactive dust that will settle over vast areas of the Southwest... Beautiful!
Matt Helm: Miss Kravezit...
Lovey Kravezit: Mr. Helm... would you please call me by my first name?
Matt Helm: Well, I don't *know* your first name.
Lovey Kravezit: It's "Lovey."
Matt Helm: [slightly incredulous] "Lovey Kravezit"?
Lovey Kravezit: Mm hmm.
Matt Helm: Oh, that's some kind of name!
Gail Hendrix: What are you doing!
Matt Helm: Ah, shut up! And don't open your mouth until you get to the hotel!
Gail Hendrix: Well, how do you expect me to breathe?
Matt Helm: Don't!