Closely Watched Trains (1966)

Vladimír Valenta: Prednosta stanice

Quotes 

• Max : A woman is nature's finest jewel.

• Max : So you're the dispatcher's cousin? What lovely ears you have.

• Milos Hrma : Dr. Brabec said I should find an older woman to train me. I thought you might know someone.

  Max : I'm sorry, Milos. You're on your own.

  Milos Hrma : What about your wife?

  Max : Now hold on there. My wife is mine!

  Milos Hrma : No, I just thought maybe she could give me some advice.

• Max : The curse of an erotic century! Armageddon! Pornographers should be put in the dock! Down with monstrous fantasies of today's youth!

• Max : A butcher decides to smuggle an udder out of the slaughterhouse, so he puts it in his pants to get it past the guard at the gate.

  Hubicka's Cousin : In his pants? You're killing me.

  Max : In his pants. In his pants. So he takes the tram and the lady sitting next to him looks at him and says: "Sir, there's something sticking out of your pants." So the man takes a knife, cuts off the udder, and says: "That's all right, I've got three more."

  Hubicka's Cousin : [laughs]  And the lady?

  Max : She fainted.

  výpravcí Hubicka : These days we tell it a little bit different. Everything's fine: the butcher sneaks the udder out, gets on the tram and takes a seat, and the lady says, "Sir, you've got something sticking out..."

  Hubicka's Cousin : And the butcher takes a knife...

  výpravcí Hubicka : And lops it off.

  Hubicka's Cousin : The lady goes pale.

  výpravcí Hubicka : This time not the lady, but the butcher, who screams, "Jesus Christ, that was the real one."