Dop leads his fellow Martians to Earth on an interplanetary quest for females. Dop proves that Martians have impeccable taste when one of his first conquests turns out to be sexy scientist Dr. Marjorie Bolen.
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Robert D. Webb
After receiving a series of messages from outer space all decoded to be "Mars Needs Women", the United States Decoding Center in Houston receives a visit from Dop, the leader of a group of five Martians on an experimental voyage to Earth. Because of a genetic problem, Martians are producing virtually only male offspring and thus need to import women for the survival of the species. The Martians' non-hostile mission is to bring back to Mars five fertile and single human women. Those at the Center see the mission as a hostile one and as such the Martians decide to carry out their mission as inconspicuously as possible without the cooperation of the authorities by posing as Earthlings. Of the potential women they spy which includes strippers, co-eds and flight attendants, the one they believe is the most conducive to success of the project is the beautiful Dr. Marjorie Bolen, an expert in space genetics. In pursuing her, Dop falls in love with Dr. Bolen. But the Martians have to complete... Written by
Tommy Kirk had previously played a Martian in the 1964 AIP release "Pajama Party," fourth in the studio's Beach Party series with Annette Funicello, featuring only a cameo from Frankie Avalon. See more »
In the computer room, the girl operating the teletype machine is very obviously not touching the keyboard and is just wiggling her fingers over the home keys. See more »
Just how long have we been receiving these mysterious signals from outer space?
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The aptly titled "Mars Needs Women" is a rather tepid piece of science-fiction, that feels like you're watching someone on a Sunday afternoon, the movie just kind of loafs around, takes it easy, never tries to over exert itself. It's got some fine cheesy moments (And Yvonne Craig is about as sexy as they come), but overall, more of a yawn than a laugh riot.
Tommy Kirk is one of the Martians desperately in need of women (I guess their bizarre pick-up moves aren't scoring the babes like they used to on Mars), and they come to Houston, TX to try to get them. Well, since Kirk's the leader, I'm sure you can assume it all goes badly, and that the effects are silly, the plot inane, and the dialogue downright awful in points. This you know.
But you might not know that the Martians can teleport, but still need cars. And they can hypnotize women, yet they resort to trying to seduce them (In really awkward ways too...a planetarium for a date? Yuck.) You are probably also unaware that scene after scene go by without a single piece of dialogue or plot development (The stock footage of the aircraft scene is my favorite...five minutes of a big plane deploying a small plane, which then lands, while 5 different faceless people with near-identical voices converse on an intercom). Just so you know.
At least I don't blame the Martians for wanting these women, they are all rather fetching, especially Yvonne "Call me Batgirl and I break you" Craig as a sex specialist/astronomer/geneticist/librarian (I dunno, she's like the Bionic Woman or something). Call me crazy, but I love a girl in turtle shell glasses.
My own personal tastes aside, there is some good mocking material in "Mars Needs Women" but not as much as a "No Holds Barred" or a "Gymkata." Not for lightweights.
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