It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966 TV Short)
[Lucy scoops out the innards of the pumpkin Linus brought]
Linus: [groans] You didn't tell me you were gonna kill it!
Linus: He'll come here because I have the most sincere pumpkin patch and he respects sincerity.
Sally Brown: Do you really think he will come?
Linus: Tonight the Great Pumpkin will rise out of the pumpkin patch. He flies through the air and brings toys to all the children of the world.
Sally Brown: That's a good story.
Linus: You don't believe the story of the Great Pumpkin? I thought little girls always believed everything that was told to them. I thought little girls were innocent and trusting.
Sally Brown: Welcome to the 20th century!
Linus: [to Sally as she walks away with everyone else] Hey, aren't you going to wait and greet the Great Pumpkin? Huh? It won't be long now. If the Great Pumpkin comes, I'll still put in a good word for you!
[realizes what he just said]
Linus: Good grief! I said "if"! I meant, "when" he comes!
Linus: I'm doomed. One little slip like that could cause the Great Pumpkin to pass you by.
Linus: Oh, Great Pumpkin, where are you?
Linus: Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He's gotta pick this one. He's got to. I don't see how a pumpkin patch can be more sincere than this one. You can look around and there's not a sign of hypocrisy. Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.
Sally Brown: Do I get to go trick-or-treating with you, big brother?
Charlie Brown: Sure, Sally.
Sally Brown: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! How do we do it?
Lucy Van Pelt: All you have to do is walk up to a house, ring the doorbell, and say "tricks or treats."
Sally Brown: Are you sure it's legal?
Lucy Van Pelt: Of course it's legal.
Sally Brown: I wouldn't want to be accused of taking part in a rumble.
Sally Brown: I was robbed! I spent the whole night waiting for the Great Pumpkin, when I could have been out for tricks or treats.
[covers her mouth, as she realizes what she's saying]
Sally Brown: Halloween is over, and I missed it!
[pointing at Linus]
Sally Brown: You blockhead! You kept me up all night waiting for the Great Pumpkin, and all that came was a beagle! I didn't get a chance to go out for tricks or treats. And it was all your fault! I'll sue! What a fool I was! I could have had candy apples and gum and cookies and money and all sorts of things. But no! I had to listen to you, you blockhead. What a fool I was. Trick or treats come only once a year, and I missed it by sitting in a pumpkin patch with a blockhead.
[shakes Linus violently by his shirt]
Sally Brown: YOU OWE ME RESTITUTION!
Lucy Van Pelt: [as Linus writes a letter to the Great Pumpkin] Not again! Writing a letter to a stupid pumpkin? You make me the laughingstock of the neighborhood! All they talk about is my little brother who always writes to the Great Pumpkin.
[she holds up her fist at Linus]
Lucy Van Pelt: You better cut it out right now or I'll pound you!
Linus: There are three things that I've learned never discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.
Charlie Brown: Hey! I got an invitation to a Halloween party!
Lucy Van Pelt: Is the invitation to Violet's party, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Yes. It's the first time I've been invited to a party.
Lucy Van Pelt: Charlie Brown, if you got an invitation, it was a mistake. There were two lists, Charlie Brown: one to invite, and one not to invite. You must have been put on the wrong list.
Sally Brown: If you try to hold my hand, I'll slug you!
Lucy Van Pelt: A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.
Linus: Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.
Linus: [to Charlie Brown after Sally just ripped him a new one] You've heard of the fury of a woman scorned, haven't you?
Charlie Brown: Yeah, I guess I have.
Linus: Well, that's nothing compared to the fury of a woman who has been cheated out of trick-or-treats.
Linus: [seeing everyone whose going trick-or-treating arrive at the pumpkin patch] Have you come to sing pumpkin carols?
Charlie Brown: Well, another Halloween has come and gone.
Linus: Yes, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: I don't understand it. I went trick-or-treating and all I got was a bag full of rocks. I suppose you spent all night in the pumpkin patch.
Charlie Brown: And the Great Pumpkin never showed up?
Charlie Brown: Well, don't take it too hard, Linus. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, too.
Linus: [furious] STUPID? What do you mean "stupid"? Just wait till next year, Charlie Brown. You'll see! Next year at this same time, I'll find a pumpkin patch that is *real* sincere and I'll sit in that pumpkin patch until the Great Pumpkin appears. He'll rise out of that pumpkin patch and he'll fly through the air with his bag of toys. The Great Pumpkin will appear and I'll be waiting for him! I'll be there! I'll be sitting there in that pumpkin patch... and I'll see the Great Pumpkin. Just wait and see, Charlie Brown. I'll see that Great Pumpkin. I'll SEE the Great Pumpkin! Just you wait, Charlie Brown. The Great Pumpkin will appear, and I'll be waiting for him...
[the screen fades out and the show ends in the most recent versions. However in the original airing, Linus continues shouting as the Dolly Madison Cakes and the Coca-Cola sponsor credits appear]
Linus: I'll be there! I'll be sitting there in that pumpkin patch... and I'll see the Great Pumpkin. Just wait and see.
Charlie Brown: You just want me to come running up to kick that ball, so you can pull it away and see me fall flat on my back and kill myself.
Lucy Van Pelt: This time you can trust me. See? I have a signed document testifying that I promise not to pull it away.
Charlie Brown: It *is* signed. It's a signed document. I guess if you have a signed document in your possession, you can't go wrong. This year I'm really going to kick that football.
[Charlie Brown runs to kick football, but Lucy pulls it away]
Charlie Brown: Aauugh!
[falls on his back]
Lucy Van Pelt: Peculiar thing about this document: it was never notarized.
Charlie Brown: Who are you writing to, Linus?
Linus: This is the time of year to write to the Great Pumpkin. On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises out of his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys for all the children!
Charlie Brown: You must be crazy. When are you going to stop believing in something that isn't true?
Linus: When *you* stop believing in that fellow with a red suit and the white beard who goes, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Charlie Brown: We're obviously separated by denominational differences.
Violet: By the way, whatever happened to the World War I flying ace?
[Charlie Brown visualizes what happened: Snoopy, in flying ace gear, climbs atop his doghouse like a plane]
Charlie Brown: Oh, he's probably getting ready to take off in the Sopwith Camel on the next dawn patrol. His mission is, to find the Red Baron and shoot him down. Here's the World War I flying ace climbing into the cockpit of the Sopwith Camel.
[Snoopy moves his mouth as if to speak]
Charlie Brown: "Contact!" he shouts.
[Snoopy starts up his doghouse-plane and takes off after the Red Baron]
Patty: [as Linus is writing to the Great Pumpkin] You're wasting your time; the Great Pumpkin is a fake!
Linus: [writing] Everyone tells me you are a fake, but I believe in you. P.S.: If you really are a fake, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
Charlie Brown: [after Snoopy blows a lone leaf into a pile of leaves that Charlie Brown has raked] Thanks, old pal.
Linus: [explaining Sally about the Great Pumpkin] On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises from his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys to all the children.
Lucy Van Pelt: Baugh! My lips touched dog lips! Baugh! Agh! Poisoned dog lips! Baugh! Agh!
Pigpen: [wearing a ghost costume, trailing dust] They'll never guess it's me under here.
Frieda: Hello, Pigpen. Glad you could make it.
Pigpen: [revealing himself] How did you know it was me?
Linus: There he is! There he is! It's the Great Pumpkin! He's rising out of the pumpkin patch!
[Linus faints and the "Pumpkin" is really Snoopy, meanwhile Sally is seething]
Linus: What happened? Did I faint? What did he leave us? Did he leave us any toys?
Violet: [Drawing on the back of Charlie Brown's head] If we shape the eyes like this, and the nose like this, and the mouth like this...
Lucy Van Pelt: Yes, that's the way! Thank you, Charlie Brown. You were a perfect model.
[Charlie Brown turns red in anger]
Lucy Van Pelt: All right, all right! Let's bob for apples! This is the way to do it.
Schroeder: Yeah, Lucy, you should be good at this. You have the perfect mouth for it.
Lucy Van Pelt: What kind of costume is that?
Charlie Brown: He's a World War I flying ace.
Lucy Van Pelt: Now I've seen everything. All right everybody, we'll go trick-or-treating, and then over to Violet's for the big Halloween party.
[Snoopy as the World War I flying ace has been shot down and crash-lands behind enemy lines. He is now trying to make his way across the lines]
Charlie Brown: [narrating; voiceover] Here's the World War I flying ace imagining he's down behind enemy lines, making his way across the French countryside.
Linus: [writing] Dear Great Pumpkin, I am looking forward to your arrival on Halloween night. I hope you will bring me lots of presents.
Linus: [writing] You must get discouraged because more people believe in Santa Claus than in you. Well, let's face it; Santa Claus has had more publicity, but being #2, perhaps you try harder.
[Snoopy reads part of it and then begins to laugh hysterically out of the room as Linus scowls at him]
Sally Brown: Is Linus taking me to the party?
Lucy Van Pelt: That stupid blockhead of a brother of mine is out in the pumpkin patch making his yearly fool of himself.
Violet: Boy, is he strange.
Sally Brown: But maybe there *is* a Great Pumpkin.