Star Trek (1966–1969)
Scotty: On Earth, we have a saying: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Chekov: I know this saying. It was invented in Russia.
Capt. Kirk: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.
Capt. Kirk: All right, you mutinous, disloyal, computerized half-breed. We'll see about you deserting my ship.
Spock: The term "half-breed" is somewhat applicable, but "computerized" is inaccurate. A machine can be computerized, not a man.
Capt. Kirk: What makes you think you're a man? You're an overgrown jackrabbit. An elf with a hyperactive thyroid.
Spock: Jim, I don't understand...
Capt. Kirk: Of course you don't understand. You don't have the brains to understand. All you have is printed circuits.
Spock: Captain, if you will excuse me.
[Tries to activate the transporter]
Capt. Kirk: [blocks Spock's way and interupts] What can you expect from a simpering, devil-eared freak whose father was a computer and his mother an encyclopedia.
Spock: My mother was a teacher. My father an ambassador.
Capt. Kirk: Your father was a computer, like his son. An ambassador from a planet of traitors. The Vulcan never lived who had an ounce of integrity...
Spock: Captain, please don't...
Capt. Kirk: You're a traitor from a race of traitors. Disloyal to the core. Rotten! Like the rest of your subhuman race. And you've got the GALL... to make love to that girl!
Spock: That's enough.
Capt. Kirk: Does she know what she's getting, Spock? A carcass full of memory banks who should be squatting on a mushroom? Instead of passing himself off as a man? You belong in the circus, Spock, not a starship. Right next to the dog face boy!
[Spock begins beating the stew out of Kirk - he picks up a stool, ready to hit Kirk, then stops - the spore's influence is gone]
Capt. Kirk: Had enough? I never realized what it took to get under that thick hide of yours. Anyhow, I don't know what you're so mad about. It isn't every first officer who gets to belt his captain... several times.
Spock: You did that to me deliberately.
Capt. Kirk: Believe me, Mr. Spock. It was painful. In more ways than one.
[Grabs his hurting arm]
Spock: The spores. They're gone. I don't belong anymore.
Capt. Kirk: You said they were benevolent and peaceful. Violent emotions overwhelm them, destroy them. I had to make you angry enough to shake off their influence. That's the answer, Mr. Spock.
Spock: That may be correct, Captain, but trying to initiate a brawl with over 500 crewmen and colonists is hardly logical.
Capt. Kirk: I had something else in mind. Can you put together a subsonic transmitter? Something we can hook into the communication station and broadcast over the communicators?
Spock: It can be done.
Capt. Kirk: Good. Let's get to work.
Spock: Captain! Striking a fellow officer is a court-martial offense.
Capt. Kirk: Well, if we're both in the brig, who's gonna build the subsonic transmitter?
Spock: That is quite logical, Captain.
Scotty: When are ya gonna get off of that milk diet Laddy? Now Scotch is a real drink for a man.
Chekov: Scotch was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad.
Capt. Kirk: You'd make a splendid computer, Mr Spock. Spock
Spock: [taken aback] That is very kind of you, Captain!
James T. Kirk: There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere...