Memorable quotes for
"Batman" (1966) More at IMDbPro »

Joker: [laughing] Have a SNEEZE on me, Batman!
[Joker administers sneezing powder upon Batman, which has no effect]
Batman: No use, Joker! I knew you'd employ your sneezing powder, so I took an Anti-Allergy Pill! Instead of a SNEEZE, I've caught YOU, COLD!

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Robin: Maybe you can bully an aging mogul, but not me, Catwoman!

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Batman: I'm just going to hang around the bar. I don't want to look conspicuous.

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Robin: Holy bill of rights, Batman!

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King Tut: [to Nefertiti] How many times must I tell you? Queens consume nectars and ambrosia, not hot dogs.

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Commissioner Gordon: You know I'm violently opposed to police brutality.

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[Organizing his election]
Penguin: Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla, but remember, no politics. Issues confuse people.

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Catwoman: I'm not just pussyfooting around this time, Batman!

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Dick Grayson: [to Miss Klutz] Why, you're no dance teacher! You're Catwoman!

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Robin: The way we get into these scrapes and get out of them, it's almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations; guiding our destiny.

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[Figuring out a riddle]
Robin: The opposite of a girl is a boy!

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Batman: Robin, warm up the Bat-spot analyzer while I take a sample of this affected cloth.

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Batman: I never touch spirits. Have you some milk?

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Batman: You better leave the crimefighting to men.

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Bruce Wayne: I'm just reminded I'd promised to take my young ward, Dick Grayson, fishing.

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[about to zoom out of The Batcave!]
Robin: Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed.
Batman: Roger. Ready to move out.

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Chief O'Hara: When it comes to the human brain, we're not equipped.

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Robin: Holy atomic pile, Batman!

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Robin: You're a blot on the name of Gotham City University. When the students find out what kind of a person you really are, they'll hate you forever.

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Batman: Just a second while I retrieve my beanie, my hair, my tweezers, and my notes.

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Batman: I've just perfected an Electronic Hair Bat-Analyzer which may hold the key to this baffling question.

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Batman: Oh, Catwoman, Catwoman, will you never learn?

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Batman: So you didn't tell the truth!
Catwoman: Did you ever hear of a crook who did?

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Batman: Nothing's sacred to those devils.

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Robin: Under this garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans.

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[Batman has been lured into a trap by Catwoman]
Batman: Four against one...
Robin: Four against two Batman!
Batman: Robin!
Robin: I couldn't resist. You were taken in by her, but I'm too young for that sort of thing.

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Robin: Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!

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Batman: [after Batgirl has come and gone secretly] How does she DO IT?

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Batman: The miserable weakling. He fainted dead away!

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Batman: Come on, Robin, to the Bat Cave! There's not a moment to lose!

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Robin: Holy oleo!
Catwoman: I didn't know you could yodel!

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Venus: What is it, Joker? $2,000 is a lot of money.
Joker: Ah, this merchandise is worth $2,000!
Penguin: [popping out of box] It's worth 2,000? You cheapskate. You could have at least sent me a plane ticket!
Joker: Well, we had to get you into Gotham City without anyone knowing about it, Pengy. Especially Batman.
Penguin: Well, I hope you have something special cooked up for that caped creep.
Joker: Ah, I do. The pot's on the fire and Batman's in it!
Penguin: Ah, you are a man after my own heart, Joker!
Joker: Black, eh?
Penguin: Black as pitch!
Joker: [laughs]

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Batman: Let's go, Robin. We've set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow.

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Commissioner Gordon: Tanks in the street, a horse in my outer office... Has the whole world gone batty?
[Batman reacts, startled]
Commissioner Gordon: Ha, ha, just an expression, Batman. No slight intended.
Batman: I understand.

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Shame: Your mother wore Army shoes.
Batman: Yes, she did. As I recall, she found them quite comfortable.

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Shame: You big sissy, you couldn't drive nails in a snow bank.
Batman: Why would I want to?

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Alfred Pennyworth: [answering the Bat-phone] I shall solicit his presence.

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Alfred Pennyworth: [whispering to Bruce Wayne at the beginning of most every episode] It's the Bat-Phone.

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[repeated line]
Batman: Precisely, Robin!

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Robin: Gosh Batman, the nobility of the almost-human porpoise.
Batman: True, it was noble of that animal to hurl himself into the path of that final torpedo. He gave his life for ours.

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[repeated line]
Batman: To the Batcave!

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Commissioner Gordon: By the way, Batman, have you seen millionaire Bruce Wayne? He doesn't answer the phone at his stately manor.

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[Repeated line]
Batman: Quick! To the Batmobile!

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