Shame: Your mother wore Army shoes.
Batman: Yes, she did. As I recall, she found them quite comfortable.
Joker: [laughing] Have a SNEEZE on me, Batman!
[Joker administers sneezing powder upon Batman, which has no effect]
Batman: No use, Joker! I knew you'd employ your sneezing powder, so I took an Anti-Allergy Pill! Instead of a SNEEZE, I've caught YOU, COLD!
Robin: Maybe you can bully an aging mogul, but not me, Catwoman!
Batman: I'm just going to hang around the bar. I don't want to look conspicuous.
King Tut: [to Nefertiti] How many times must I tell you? Queens consume nectars and ambrosia, not hot dogs.
Commissioner Gordon: You know I'm violently opposed to police brutality.
[Organizing his election]
Penguin: Plenty of girls and bands and slogans and lots of hoopla, but remember, no politics. Issues confuse people.
Dick Grayson: [to Miss Klutz] Why, you're no dance teacher! You're Catwoman!
Robin: The way we get into these scrapes and get out of them, it's almost as though someone was dreaming up these situations; guiding our destiny.
Batman: Robin, warm up the Bat-spot analyzer while I take a sample of this affected cloth.
Bruce Wayne: I'm just reminded I'd promised to take my young ward, Dick Grayson, fishing.
[about to zoom out of The Batcave!]
Robin: Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed.
Batman: Roger. Ready to move out.
Chief O'Hara: When it comes to the human brain, we're not equipped.
Robin: You're a blot on the name of Gotham City University. When the students find out what kind of a person you really are, they'll hate you forever.
Batman: Just a second while I retrieve my beanie, my hair, my tweezers, and my notes.
Batman: I've just perfected an Electronic Hair Bat-Analyzer which may hold the key to this baffling question.
[Batman has been lured into a trap by Catwoman]
Batman: Four against one...
Robin: Four against two Batman!
Robin: I couldn't resist. You were taken in by her, but I'm too young for that sort of thing.
Batman: [after Batgirl has come and gone secretly] How does she DO IT?
Batman: Come on, Robin, to the Bat Cave! There's not a moment to lose!
Venus: What is it, Joker? $2,000 is a lot of money.
Joker: Ah, this merchandise is worth $2,000!
Penguin: [popping out of box] It's worth 2,000? You cheapskate. You could have at least sent me a plane ticket!
Joker: Well, we had to get you into Gotham City without anyone knowing about it, Pengy. Especially Batman.
Penguin: Well, I hope you have something special cooked up for that caped creep.
Joker: Ah, I do. The pot's on the fire and Batman's in it!
Penguin: Ah, you are a man after my own heart, Joker!
Joker: Black, eh?
Penguin: Black as pitch!
Batman: Let's go, Robin. We've set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow.
Commissioner Gordon: Tanks in the street, a horse in my outer office... Has the whole world gone batty?
[Batman reacts, startled]
Commissioner Gordon: Ha, ha, just an expression, Batman. No slight intended.
Batman: I understand.
Shame: You big sissy, you couldn't drive nails in a snow bank.
Batman: Why would I want to?
Alfred Pennyworth: [answering the Bat-phone] I shall solicit his presence.
Alfred Pennyworth: [whispering to Bruce Wayne at the beginning of most every episode] It's the Bat-Phone.
Robin: Gosh Batman, the nobility of the almost-human porpoise.
Batman: True, it was noble of that animal to hurl himself into the path of that final torpedo. He gave his life for ours.
Commissioner Gordon: By the way, Batman, have you seen millionaire Bruce Wayne? He doesn't answer the phone at his stately manor.