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Two on a Guillotine (1965) Poster

Quotes

John Harley 'Duke' Duquesne: [Speaking to an imaginary audience, while Cassie Duquesne, unconscious, is strapped into his stage-show guillotine] Ladies and gentlemen, behold one of the most tragic and malign figures in... in all the... the annals of recorded history. The beauteous Marie Antoinette. Doomed by the... by the... by the... bestial malevolence of the revolutionary mob, to end her glorious life upon this... this cruel instrument of bloody torture. La Belle Dame sans Merci. And why did she have to die? For allegedly having remarked upon being informed that the poor had no bread, "Why, then, let them eat cake!"

John Harley 'Duke' Duquesne: [pauses, chuckles faintly] Now I ask you, ladies and gentlemen, is that a statement showing heartlessness, or, or merely a warm, generous and delightful humor?

John Harley 'Duke' Duquesne: [Val and Dolly come rushing in, and Duke asks them to take a seat] I'm glad you came, sir. And now before your very eyes, you're about to see the ghastliest, cruelest, most sickening act of legal vengeance ever enacted upon a beautiful woman: the actual beheading of... of... of Marie Antoinette.

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Val Henderson: [wearing a mask of Duke's face] Welcome to the Twilight Zone!

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Cassie Duquesne: [on the phone with Val] You know that room on the third floor that's always locked? Well it was open. There's a box in there that has a woman's body in it with no head!

Val Henderson: Cassie, it's got to be just another trick from your father's act.

Cassie Duquesne: I don't care! Come over here, Val, please!

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[referring to her two-year-old daughter]

Melinda Duquesne: How's Cassie?

Jules 'Buzzy' Sheridan: Happy as a pig in a mudhole.

Jules 'Buzzy' Sheridan: That's our dressing room, all right.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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