That Funny Feeling (1965)
Joan Howell: I'd love to visit your apartment.
Tom Milford: My apartment? Well, why mine?
Joan Howell: The answer should be quite obvious, shouldn't it?
Tom Milford: The fact of the matter is, mine is quite disorganized. I've been having maid trouble, too.
Joan Howell: Well, I'll tell you what. You take me to your apartment and I'll show you what I can do with a vacuum cleaner.
Tom Milford: [Tom bumped into officer] I'm sorry, officer, my eyes were on that girl.
Officer Brokaw: Well, just glue them back in your head and keep moving.
Harvey Granson: I didn't finish with my wife's lawyers 'till after midnight.
Tom Milford: You mean you and Leona still can't agree on a settlement?
Harvey Granson: Oh, yeah, she wants to split everything down the middle including my head.
Tom Milford: You know, Harv, I hate to see you so hacked up. I wish there was something I could do.
Harvey Granson: Mary Leona. Get me off the alimony hook.
Tom Milford: That good a friend I am not.
Harvey Granson: I'll give you three of my paintings in your apartment.
Tom Milford: How much are they worth?
Harvey Granson: $25,000 a piece.
Tom Milford: I have to take Leona?
Harvey Granson: Yeah.
Tom Milford: Forget it.
Harvey Granson: Fairweather friend.
Taxi Driver: Where to?
Tom Milford: I don't know.
Taxi Driver: Do you wanna go home?
Tom Milford: I am home.
Taxi Driver: What do you want me to do ? Drive you up the steps?
Harvey Granson: Call the police, Tom, she's after my paintings.
Tom Milford: I'll be personally responsible for the paintings.
Harvey Granson: Somebody just stole your apartment, your name and you're going to be responsible for my paint... Call the police!
Tom Milford: This is the girl who took my place.
Harvey Granson: Well, what's she doing in my place?
Tom Milford: She won't let me in my place so I had to call your place my place.
Harvey Granson: Get her out of here, you hear! Out! Out!
Tom Milford: Now, Harv, I've been working on her, now she's just starting to talk.
Harvey Granson: Now teach her how to walk and get her out of here!
Joan Howell: [Becoming suspicious of an alcoholic drink he's made for her] Say, what's the proportion of gin and quinine water in this drink?
Tom Milford: Oh, I'd say about, uh... "even-Steven."
Joan Howell: [starting to giggle] I'd say it was more "Steven" than "even."