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Mirage (1965) Poster

(1965)

Quotes

[Talking about the Major]

David Stillwell: Those people aren't even ants to him! They're articles of commerce! And I'm the cost accountant, trying to cut down his overhead with what you and he call "progress"!

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[Josephson is considering whether to side with David or the Major]

David Stillwell: Dammit, Josephson, commit! If you're not committed to anything, you're just taking up space!

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Dr. Broden: But whatever that horrible thing that happened... I don't want to know about it!

David Stillwell: Broden, there's no doubt you're a brilliant scientist. But you're not much of a doctor, or of a human being, either.

Dr. Broden: [to himself, after David leaves] God knows.

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Crawford Gilcuttie: I'm tired of you, David. Just give me the formula and get the hell out of here!

David Stillwell: What's the matter, Major? You seem nervous!

Crawford Gilcuttie: ...Why should I be?

David Stillwell: That's what I want to know.

[David looks around at the others]

David Stillwell: Josephson?

Josephson: Hm?

David Stillwell: Is that who you're worried about?

Josephson: Why should he be worried about me?

David Stillwell: Because I'm not on the hook anymore. You are.

Josephson: Why?

David Stillwell: Because you've got the gun!

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Ted Caselle: My secretary is out to lunch, my partner is out in a case. My name is Caselle. Who recommended you, Mr...?

David Stillwell: Stillwell. David Stillwell. I saw the sign.

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David Stillwell: I think the entire buildings gone mad. Everyone's running around trying to re-sin the Ten Commandments.

Shela: I've never understood why most people will do things in the dark, that they'd never think of doing in the light.

David Stillwell: I'd explain it to you, but, I'm afraid the lights might come back on.

Shela: No, I'm serious. If we can lie, cheat, steal, and kill in broad daylight and have to wait until it's dark to make love, something's wrong somewhere.

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Shela: Couldn't we stop and rest a minute?

David Stillwell: Oh, don't be a sissy.

Shela: I'm a girl! I'm supposed to be a sissy!

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David Stillwell: Who is it?

Josephson: Josephson. I just got a call to come up to C.C.'s office. With all that inner holy light, His Eminence is radiating these days. He may not have noticed the blackout. Stick around, it won't be long, we'll have a drinkie.

David Stillwell: No chance. I've already passed on one orgy. I have to go.

Josephson: Not me. We're marooned on a mountain, whoopie. Whoever pulled that plug gave me a fool proof excuse from the wife.

David Stillwell: Well, that lets me out, whoopie-baby, I haven't anyone to cheat.

Josephson: I heard you were in the mood, sweetheart. Well, don't take any wooden indians. Ciao!

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David Stillwell: Hello, Eddie. The usual, I guess.

Eddie - Bartender: The usual?

David Stillwell: Scotch and lemon peel...

Eddie - Bartender: That'll be 90 cents. I said, that'll be 90 cents.

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Joe Turtle: You work with Mr. Josephson, don't you? Do you know what he calls me? Sweetheart.

David Stillwell: Well, you're losing touch, Sweetheart's what they call total strangers, these days.

Joe Turtle: Oh, yeah. He says it next time and I'll sock him.

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Lester: It's beginning to look like people are on their way out, all together.

David Stillwell: Well, maybe the machines will keep us around for pets.

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David Stillwell: Josephson, if you heard I was taking a cruise the islands, why did you call?

Josephson: I didn't know what time you'd be leaving and I didn't want you to go without saying aloha, boobie.

David Stillwell: Well, save that boobie-baby-sweetie, I'm not going.

Josephson: Oh, that's too bad. I hear the weather is gorgeous down there.

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David Stillwell: Wouldn't it be hilarious if you did know what you were doing?

Ted Caselle: Yeah and how come I don't know what to do next?

David Stillwell: Well, pretend you're James Bond, he always knows.

Ted Caselle: Maybe we ought to get something to eat. I'm dying for a peanut butter sandwich.

Ted Caselle: Forget James Bond.

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Ted Caselle: I tell you one thing, I'm beginning to wish I had a gun.

David Stillwell: You're kidding?

Ted Caselle: Aw, filthy things, I can't stand them. You have one and sure as shootin' you end up using it.

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Cocktail Waitress: Good evening.

David Stillwell: Hi. Scotch and lemon peel.

Cocktail Waitress: Thank you.

Ted Caselle: I'll have a Dr. Pepper.

David Stillwell: That figures.

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Shela: Where's your friend?

David Stillwell: Oh, he was just being polite. Hates instant coffee.

Shela: I can't say I blame him. They might have included some instant taste.

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Shela: I don't suppose you could use any help?

David Stillwell: Who do you have in mind?

Shela: Well, you could run an ad in the Times: Wanted, extremely lonely young lady with a fairly low opinion of herself, do to many mistakes, willing to work long, hard hours.

David Stillwell: Think I'd get any answers?

Shela: You might.

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Shela: Oh, David. Help me, please, help me.

David Stillwell: We'll help each other. That's really what it's all about, anyway.

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Louise: [Walking with a candle during a blackout in an office building] Hey, there's a live one. Go ahead, ask him.

Female Office Worker: Oh, you ask him.

Louise: Everybody's going to the Board Room in 2709 - the one with no windows. We're having a party, wanna come?

Female Office Worker: Tell him what kind.

Louise: Hmm-ha-ha. It's a braille party.

David Stillwell: A what?

Female Office Worker: Braille. Get it? The touch system.

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Female Office Worker: [Walking with a candle during a blackout in an office building] Where are you going Louise?

Louise: I don't know. I just had to get out of there. Mr. Hannick is grabby enough when the lights are on.

Female Office Worker: Hey, I could go in there and he'd think it was you!

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Ted Caselle: What can I do for you?

David Stillwell: To open it, you can find who I am.

Ted Caselle: Sure, you are David Stillwell. That will be... hmm, ten bucks!

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David Stillwell: What about your secretary? Don't you want to leave a note or something?

Ted Caselle: I will tell the truth. I don't have a secretary and there is no partner. As a matter of fact, you are my first case.

David Stillwell: [sarcastically] Terrific.

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Lester: [Referring to the TV] They got wrestling coming in from Chicago. I know it's supposed to be fixed, but so's everything else.

David Stillwell: Why don't you just take the set?

Lester: Eh, now that all the Westerns have gone psycho, this is the only place where you can tell who the bad guys are.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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