- Eric Von Zipper: [to Miss Sugar Kane] Eric Von Zipper adores you. And when Eric Von Zipper adores somebody, they stay adored.
- Puss, Boots: That's stupid.
- Eric Von Zipper: Please, do not destroy my mood. Tonight, I even like you.
- Bullets: [sarcastically] Oh, perfect. I'll save the next dance for you.
- Eric Von Zipper: I lead.
- South Dakota Slim: Hey, what you doin' with my Boobie? Hey! Step aside ladies, that's my Sugar, Boobies.
- Bonehead: [they are in the ocean; he is on top of his surf-board. Lorelei's body is mainly underwater, only her head and shoulders are above water; she is holding on to the surf-board with a hand.] Oh, I don't know your name.
- Lorelei: Lorelei.
- Bonehead: [smiling] Lorelei. That's pretty.
- Lorelei: There is something else you should know about me. I'm a mermaid.
- Bonehead: [facetiously] Some of my best friends are mermaids, Lorelei.
- Bonehead: [as he sees Lorelei swimming away, he notices that she is half-fish] You know something? You really ARE one.
- Lorelei: I told you I was.
- Bonehead: Well, I knew something was different about you, but not THIS different.
- Lorelei: Do you still want to meet me tomorrow?
- Bonehead: Gosh, yes. More than ever. I've never known a girl with a... tail. I mean, I'll be the only boy in my block that knows a real, live mermaid.
- J.D.: What's up, boss?
- Eric Von Zipper: Shut up! I'm thinkin'.
- J.D.: How long will that take?
- Eric Von Zipper: Until I get it THUNK.
- Frankie: I mean about skydiving! Boy, it'll be a new thrill. I can just imagine that feeling.
- Dee Dee: Yeah! Like a bird. When do we start?
- Frankie: We?
- Dee Dee: Well, sure! It'll be a new thrill up there.
- Frankie: Yeah, for me; but, not for you. A girl's job is in the kitchen. At least until she learns how to cook a hot dog! Dinner was burnt.
- Eric Von Zipper: [referring to The Wild One] My idol used to be Marlo Brandon. But, he-e-e did a movie picture about sic-les. He made them sic-le guys to be bad guys -- so, he ain't my idol no more.
- Sugar Kane: Come on, Bonehead. Let's go!
- Bonehead: Go? We just got here.
- Sugar Kane: I don't mean just go. I mean go-go-go, like dance!
- Bonehead: Oh, shore!
- Sugar Kane: What are you doing?
- Eric Von Zipper: I'm glad you asked that question. Because, I, Eric Von Zipper, am putting the snatch on you.
- Sugar Kane: Snatch?
- South Dakota Slim: Are we playin' pool, Boobie? Or, is this all a lousy dream?
- Eric Von Zipper: Hey, hey! There happens to be a lady present.
- South Dakota Slim: I apologize.
- Eric Von Zipper: You know, I've been thinkin'.
- J.D.: Watch it, boss.
- Eric Von Zipper: Where is my idol? And South Dakota Slim? And my two mice: Puss 'n Boots?
- Dee Dee: I'm going with Frankie tomorrow to try the skydiving bit. Any of you girls with me?
- Frankie: [after a lot of girls say "Sure!"] Hey, you girls are crazy.
- Animal: Why? You fellas are gonna do it.
- Frankie: Yeah, but boys are different.
- Animal: I've noticed, and I'm glad.
- Frankie: Now, that's my kind of people.
- Bonehead: Frankie, I found Sugar. They've got her at that pool hall.
- Frankie: Who's got her?
- Bonehead: Von Zipper's got her.
- Frankie: Von Zipper?
- Bullets: The Rat Pack social director. And you promised me...
- Frankie: And I'm gonna KEEP my promise. Okay, you guys, let's go! Cowabunga!
- Earl Wilson: Cowabunga?
- Bullets: I don't know, Earl, but let's go.
- Eric Von Zipper: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! What are we fighting about?
- Frankie: You've got Sugar! Where is she?
- Eric Von Zipper: I ain't got Sugar. Where is she?
- J.D.: I was gonna tell you, boss. I got a hunch South Dakota Slim took her to his boobie house.
- Eric Von Zipper: You mean the old sawmill?
- J.D.: Yeah.
- Bullets: Sawmill? Why, it's right out of The Perils of Pauline.
- Earl Wilson: It's Pearl White revisited.
- Eric Von Zipper: We'll see you later. Follow me.
- [the motorcycle gang all whistle.]
- Earl Wilson: Let's Earl, brother.
- Bullets: Yeah, Earl while there's still a door.
- Bullets: Come along now and let's, uh, get out of these loose clothes and slip into something tight.
- Steve Gordon: You're nuts about the guy. You can't take eyes off him.
- Bonnie Graham: Well, I was never a subtle type chick.
- Frankie: [singing] These are the good times, While we are young, No chance untaken, No song unsung, These are the good times, Life goes your way, Loving each moment, Of each new day, While the meadows are green, Free as the wind are we, Sharing a dream...