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90 out of 123 people found the following review useful:
No excuses, this film is the "Plan 9 from Outer Space" of all war films, 23 December 2006
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Author:
ebonius (ebonius@dodgeit.com) from United States
As the son of a man who fought and almost died in the Battle of the
Ardennes (Battle of the Bulge is a stupid name that brings to mind
something to do with weight control), I not only think this is the
worst action picture I've ever seen, I'm ashamed that Hollywood
insulted our veterans with this stinker two decades after the battle in
which so many Americans died to turn the tide in Europe. You know it
must be pretty insulting to war veterans if Ike himself bothered to
become a movie critic and denounce it as demeaning to our soldiers and
their memory.
I try never to say I hate something, but I hate this movie on every
possible level. In the war movie genre, it's a zero. In the historical
recreation genre, it is a sub-zero. As an action picture, it is
unbelievable. Quite simply the only reason anyone should watch this
thing is to catalog a list of things you should avoid doing if you ever
decide to make a war movie.
By now, you've already read about the gaffs: The anachronisms like a
German reading Playboy magazine in the background. The cheap and silly
plastic-models-on-a-tabletop war scenes ala Godzilla, The breathtaking
inappropriate location of the filming on the Spanish plains instead of
using, if not Belgium, then at least some northern European forest
country with snow! I mean, my God, would you film a movie about Eskimos
in Venezuela? And some reviewers here struggle to make apologies for
all this, saying in essence "So what? It was a fun war movie." Who
cares if it was filmed in a desert instead of the Ardennes forest? Who
cares if they made the Germans into cartoonish Nazis and the Allies
into G.I. Joe and Sgt. Rock comic book heroes? Who cares if almost
nothing is as it was during the battle?
Well then, why bother to make a movie with the specific title "Battle
of the Bulge" at all? Why not just call it, "Clash of the Panzers"? I
know, it was the 1960s and it was just meant to entertain and jerk a
few bucks out of people's pockets with gimmicks like Cinerama and
marquee brand names like Henry Fonda. I know all that.
But it was an insult to the vets who fought and died there. They said
it at the time it was made. I can't get beyond that. I have walked the
forests and fields around Bastogne where my father endured such an
ordeal he would not ever speak of when he was alive. I've walked among
the white gravestones of men who died there. I can't bring myself to
get to, "So what? It's just a movie." Neither, apparently could the
many vets who decided to take their families to this picture when it
was released, and then had to sit there, embarrassed and speechless as
this movie made a mockery of their struggle.
I fully expect that I'll get a negative rating as to how many people
found my comments "useful," but that's OK. From what I've seen, people
tend not to like criticism of a film based on subjective, rather than
objective remarks. In this case however, I don't care if I get a single
"useful" vote. This movie was a travesty in its day, and worse now with
the passage of time. It is truly the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of war
movies.
But ending on a positive note: I'd like to see somebody do a spoof film
about the making of this movie and how everybody from the
screenwriters, to the director and actors and location scouts to the
extras in the background didn't give a flying flip about what they were
working on except getting a paycheck. That, I'd watch.
53 out of 72 people found the following review useful:
Ah yes! The scorched plains of the Belgian desert..., 12 October 2002
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Author:
KEVMC from Rugby, UK.
December 1944. The Germans launch their last major offensive in the west.
The plan is to break through the Allied lines at several points in the
hilly, densely wooded Ardennes region of Belgium and make an all out drive
to recapture the port of Antwerp, thereby cutting the Allied forces in two.
The Allies cannot use their air superiority due to dense fog covering the
region. The task of stopping the vast armoured advance falls to small groups
of US soldiers making a stand wherever possible.
I really have mixed feelings towards this film. In terms of historical,
geographical and meteorological accuracy, it's an utter shambles from start
to finish. All the characters are ficticious (some are obviously composites
of real participants in the battle). A fact already well documented is the
use of '50s/'60s US tanks to represent the German Tigers and US Shermans.
There is no mention whatsoever of the fact that General Patton managed to
basically turn the advance of his 3rd Army through 90 degrees, then head
north to break through to the 101st Airborne at Bastogne. Finally, to
suggest that the Germans ran out of fuel and simply 'walked back to Germany'
is plain insulting. The geographical errors are also quite glaring. During
the first half of the film these errors can be largely overlooked. However,
from the artillery train sequence onwards to the climactic tank battle, the
terrain looks more like Arizona than the Ardennes! (vast desert like
plains). Then, as if all that isn't bad enough, there's the weather. The
winter of '44/'45 was one of the worst in recent history. In the Ardennes
that meant deep snow, freezing temperatures and thick fog. Apart from some
snowy scenes early on, there isn't much evidence of any of
this!
Considering all the inaccuracies catalogued above, I should despise this
film, but I don't. Taken on its' level, it's quite enjoyable. It has a
strong cast; Robert Shaw and Hans Christian Blech are both very good,
Charles Bronson was an old hand at these all star extravaganzas, and Henry
Fonda exudes his usual quiet dignity. The script, if a bit hokey, is no
worse than others from the period and the cinematography and score are fine.
The battle scenes are professionally staged and comparison with modern war
films would be unfair.
A point worth noting is the fact that this film has been cut in recent
years. The missing scenes are briefly:- 1. The introduction of the Germans
dressed as US MPs. 2. Shaw inspecting his tanks. 3. A conversation between
Fonda and Bronson. 4. A lengthy sequence in Ambleve with a conversation
between Shaw and Bronson, followed by an attempt on Shaw's life by a young
boy. The boy's life is spared but his father is executed. The missing
footage accounts for roughly 10 minutes of running time. The quoted running
time on most reference works is 167 mins., which I assume includes the
overture, intermission music and exit music. This would seem to be correct,
for if my old widescreen VHS copy contained the missing scenes (the music is
all present) it would run approx. 160 mins.(running time is speeded up on
PAL). But I digress.
Overall then, a film with some very major flaws. If you're expecting a
film in the same vein as 'The Longest Day' or 'A Bridge Too Far' you'll be
terribly disappointed. If you can accept it as a fictional account of the
battle however, and can view the complete version, then it's well worth a
look.
31 out of 39 people found the following review useful:
"They got Blondie!", 13 November 2006
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Author:
dr_foreman from Brooklyn, NY
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
When I was a little kid, I watched "Battle of the Bulge" approximately
58 million times. I thought it was the cat's pajamas.
But even back then, my young and usually trusting mind could detect a
strong whiff of baloney from this movie. I had difficultly believing,
for example, that every Allied soldier in World War II was an
incompetent nitwit except for the all-knowing, all-seeing Henry Fonda.
Throughout the course of this movie, Fonda's character predicts the
battle (rather like a psychic, or someone with access to the script),
uncovers every weakness in the German plan, and then finally plays a
key role in stopping the entire German offensive. What a versatile guy,
huh?
And yes, even my inexperienced child-self found it rather weird that,
in this movie, the Americans are depicted as being utterly incapable of
fighting the Germans. The film suggests, in a somewhat insulting
fashion, that in point of fact the Americans did not win this battle in
the traditional way - we only won it because the Germans ran out of
gasoline and decided to walk home! What complete rubbish. Anybody with
even a vague understanding of the real battle knows that the Americans
won simply by counterattacking - what a novel idea!
Some commentators on this site have argued that the film's historical
inaccuracies don't matter, and that only World War II nerds will be
offended by the script's tinkering with history. However, I would argue
that "Battle of the Bulge" is SO inaccurate that such a defense doesn't
hold water. And it's not as though the inaccuracies make the film
better; in fact, I'm confident that a more realistic portrayal of the
battle would have made the film far more exciting, even-handed, and
worthwhile.
And yet... and yet... I still like this stupid movie! The tank battles
are fun, the music is great, and the cast is really top-notch. Here's a
general rule of thumb that I apply to the film as a whole - the scenes
with the Americans are stupid, and the scenes with the Germans are
good. For example - Robert Shaw is simply awesome as the (fictional)
German commander. He has a fascinating series of moral debates on the
nature of the war with his aide, a long-suffering corporal played by
Hans Christian Blech; these scenes are a real highlight of the film,
and their intelligence makes for a stark contrast with the general
idiocy of other scenes.
There's also a very good scene when Charles Bronson tells Fonda that
his men are so angry because of the war that they want to completely
annihilate Germany and its people. This somewhat sinister note always
gets my attention, but it pretty much amounts to nothing.
Perhaps the best thing that I can say about this movie is that it got
me curious about the real battle, and the war in general. Because it's
reasonably cool and exciting, the film is a pretty good vehicle for
generating interest in the events it depicts so carelessly. Also, the
script is perhaps not quite so inaccurate as some people claim - the
early forest battles are somewhat like the real thing, and the general
nature and goals of the German offensive are accurately portrayed.
It's just that too many dumb Hollywood moments spoil the movie for any
serious aficionado of history and/or cinema. That's a shame, really. I
wouldn't mind seeing a more accurate remake, which presumably would not
involve an omnipotent Henry Fonda singlehandedly foiling the last great
German offensive of World War II.
46 out of 73 people found the following review useful:
My Favorite WWII Epic is Admittedly a Mixed Bag, 28 June 2003
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Author:
SgtSlaughter from St. Davids, Pennsylvania, USA
VIEWED ON REGION 1 DVD FROM WARNER BROTHERS
This big, bloated epic re-creation of the battle which turned the tide
of World War II manages to be on the most historically inaccurate and
over-blown adventure pieces ever produced. It's also one of the most
entertaining war movies to grace the big screen. The combination of
heroics and history shouldn't work as well as it does.
Writers John Melson, Philip Yordan and Milton Sperling remain faithful
to the broad outlines of the real battle, and then fill their story
with several important fictional characters, and director Ken Annakin
uses a combination of Hollywood heroics and historical accuracy to
deliver an entertaining tale. The film relies solely on the
excellently-shot action sequences and superb acting by the leads to
hold it together.
Veteran director Ken Annakin knows how to make this film work. In the
lead, Henry Fonda ("Midway") seems to be having plenty of fun as
Colonel Kiley. He gets to argue with people, shoot at Germans, fly in a
plane, and even help fend off a Panzer attack not bad for a
civilian-turned-soldier, eh? On the flip-side, Robert Shaw ("Force 10
from Navarone") is fantastic as the fanatical Colonel Hessler, a
devoted Panzer officer who will stop at nothing to accomplish his
mission. Hessler brings new meaning the Hollywood-Nazi-type: he's
brutal, nasty and dedicated despite the fact that he knows Germany
cannot win the war.
The supporting cast is filled with the familiar faces of Charles
Bronson, Ty Hardin, James MacArthur and Telly Savalas but the real
star is Hans Christian Blech ("The Longest Day"). As Conrad, the
war-weary, aging German Corporal, it's his best work in a war film.
Conrad wants to go home and is devoted to Hessler, until he realizes
that his commander's dedication sits precariously on the edge of
madness. His facial expressions bug-eyed outbursts, sad frowns,
frightened glances at strafing airplanes have never been more
convincing.
This epic was shot for the big screen using Cinerama, and the only way
to appreciate the action sequences is to see this movie in widescreen.
Pan-and-scan prints cut it down from a 2.7:1 ratio to 1.33:1 - that's
losing more than half of the image! It was shot on the vast plains of
Spain, and although it looks nothing like the brutal winter in the
Ardennes forest, this scenery makes from some very impressive
landscapes for which to shoot colossal battle scenes. Annakin shows
tanks facing off with each other on the plains and in the
snow-encrusted woods and shows hand-to-hand fighting in the streets of
a French city. These scenes are set to an excellent, rousing Ben
Frankel score, which only adds to the excitement. There are hundreds of
extras running about, as well as several dozen loud, clanking tanks.
Annakin often places his camera on the front end of a tank, train or
moving car to give the viewer a "you-are-there" perspective, a
technique which is ruined with the pan-and-scan process.
The dramatic effect of the serious scenes is severely hampered by
preposterous Hollywood heroics and some incredibly poor special
effects. Quite often, the combat and destruction look incredibly real,
but there are some truly laughable shots of exploding model tanks and
roaring model trains, too. The battle scenes, notably a huge tank vs.
tank battle and a conclusion involving an attempted German capture of
an Allied fuel dump are incredibly corny and false-looking - first for
their false-looking special effects, which looked bad even in 1965, and
secondly for their placement in a desert rather than a snowy forest -
which really destroyed the credibility Annakin had been working up to.
A strong subplot involving an American tanker, Guffy (Telly Savalas,
"The Dirty Dozen") and another, centering on the Malmedy Massacre, help
to offset this cheesiness.
"Battle of the Bulge" is a true Hollywood epic in every sense of the
word. It may not be historically accurate, but it's probably the most
entertaining and engaging war film I've had the pleasure to watch. The
characters are main fleshed out enough to keep the viewers interested,
the scope is amazing and the direction often borders on brilliance as
often as it fails miserably.
26 out of 36 people found the following review useful:
An Unsightly Bulge, 31 October 2006
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Author:
bkoganbing from Buffalo, New York
After 20th Century Fox had put out The Longest Day to such critical and
popular success, you might have thought that Warner Brothers would have
learned and copied that formula. They even hired Ken Annakin who was
one of the directors for The Longest Day.
But if you are looking for the names of Eisenhower, Bradley, Patton,
Hodges, and Montgomery on the Allied side and Von Rundstedt and Model
among the Germans you will be disappointed. All the names of the
principals are changed. Folks like Henry Fonda, Robert Ryan, and Dana
Andrews are playing fictionalized characters.
A couple of things are brought in mainly because they are part of the
legend of the Bulge, the Malmedy Massacre and the famous reply of
General McAuliffe to the German inquiry about surrendering the besieged
town of Bastogne. In fact the latter is just dropped into the story
without any of the principal players involved. I guess the producers
had a thought that no film about the Bulge would be accepted without
it, no matter how forced.
It would have been nice if a straight dramatic narrative approach had
been used like The Longest Day. With of course the names of the real
people. Part of the Bulge story was told in MGM's Battleground and in
Patton.
In this film the best performances are that of Robert Shaw as the
fanatical Nazi Panzer commander and his war weary aide Hans Christian
Blech. Honorable mention should also go to George Montgomery as a tough
American sergeant and his lieutenant James MacArthur who grows in
stature thanks to Montgomery's example.
For a film that is more than two and a half hours in length, I'd have
liked to have seen the real deal though.
47 out of 79 people found the following review useful:
Sloppy Production, 6 May 2002
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Author:
Theo Robertson from Isle Of Bute, Scotland
You know you`re in for a bad film when the first ten minutes are composed
entirely of actors sitting in front of back projection trying to convince
you they`re in a plane or a car. BATTLE OF THE BULGE does this , but it
doesn`t warn you how bad it all becomes later on. I`ll warn you, this is one
bad war film.
The worst thing about BATTLE OF THE BULGE is that it`s based on the real
life Ardennes campaign of December 1944 when the Nazis threw the last of
their reserves into trying to beat the allies in Western Europe , and this
film is a lost opportunity to show the facts. " I need to look inside one of
those tiger tanks " says Henry Fonda . But they`re not Tigers , as everyone
else has noticed they`re American tanks from another generation. A German
tiger tank has a very distinctive square shape . Couldn`t the script have
been changed so that they could have been Panther tanks ? At least Panther
tanks had roundish angles like the ones used in this film.
And the editing is extremely suspect. One scene features a wooded forest
covered in snow then the next scene features a landscape devoid of trees and
without a flake of snow ! Worst of all in the final scenes when characters
walk on the ground dust can clearly be seen following their footsteps, the
terrain they are walking hasn`t seen snow or rain for weeks ! It`s like the
director and editor have been splicing scenes from another film . This is
bad enough but what makes it so bad is a line spoken by a German General at
the start of the film when he mentions fog hiding the German advance so that
the allies can`t use their massive air support to slow down the advance ,
but up untill the last half hour there`s been nothing but bright blue skies
to be seen !
If you enjoyed this film may I also recommend THE PRODUCERS which features
SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER , the true story of Adolph Hitler`s all singing all
dancing stormtroopers
28 out of 42 people found the following review useful:
Head 'Em Off at the Pass, 18 February 2003
Author:
bensonj from New York, NY
A disclaimer on the end credits states, in effect, that the events and
people in this picture bear no relationship to a battle by the same name
that took place in WW II. Filmmakers have dealt with the problem of filming
the big event in various ways; some show many fragments, following
individuals here and there; some concentrate on the view of the generals,
with long-shots of big battles; some opt for telling just a little part of
the big picture, a microcosm. The solution here is to pretend that only a
few dozen people were actually involved in the whole campaign.
One has to assume that someone had a cavalry western script but realized
westerns weren't selling any more, so they sold it by doing a quick rewrite
to make it a war movie. Henry Fonda is the grizzled scout who insists the
Indians are about to attack, based on his reading of the signs in the dirt,
and who pulls his boss, the general, out of the fire time and again. Yes,
it's Hank who, in the first skirmish, moves up to see if the Indians have a
cache of rifles, who recognizes their leader as an escaped renegade
fighter-Indian, who discovers that the friendly Crows at the pass are
actually deadly Apaches in disguise, who, at a number of critical points,
goes out with his young partner to scout around and comes back to the
campfire with vital information, who realizes that the big battle is
actually a ruse for the Indians to send a party to the water hole to fill
their canteens with badly needed water, and who, with an arrow sticking
through his shoulder, singlehandedly leads a few raw recruits in a clever
maneuver to keep the Indians from the water hole and saves the day. In the
last shot, the Indians march back to the reservation across the desert. The
Fonda character, in particular, seems to still be in that western. He isn't
just A scout, he's THE scout, the only scout, and all intelligence info
that's important to the battle is his. The other characters fit the western
mold pretty well also, including Shaw's Nazi. Only the Savalas character is
indelibly out of WW II (or, more accurately, out of the Bilko
show).
13 out of 15 people found the following review useful:
Did anyone ever read about the Battle of the Bulge?, 3 September 2005
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Author:
Miyagis_Sweaty_wifebeater (sirjosephu@aol.com) from Sacramento, CA
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Battle of the Bulge (1965) is a massive joke of a film. Everything
about this movie is wrong. The movie plays out as a comedy instead of a
serious action/war film. When I did a paper on this historic battle in
high school, I remembered the battle occurred in a forest, not a dry
and arid even battle field. Whilst spending a lot of shekels on this
production, they did a bad job of recreating tanks for the battle. They
all looked the same (except with different insignias) and plastic toys
were used for the most part. One of my biggest pet peeves in war movies
is the use of bad accents. Why do the "enemy" soldiers have to speak to
each other in broken English? Do they have a problem communicating to
one another in their own language?
This movie is wrong on so many levels. I have seen smaller budget
movies and made-for-television productions to a better job of
recreating this historic battle. If you want to see a serious
adaptation of the Battle of the Bulge, look elsewhere. But if you want
to see a bad movie filled with over the top acting, stereotypical
Germans and high octane diesel fuel and easily exploding oil drums then
you'll want to watch this laughable excuse for a movie. Keep in mind
that a big studio bankrolled this one.
Not recommended.
16 out of 22 people found the following review useful:
I wonder if people back America would ever know what it cost the soldiers to win this war
, 6 April 2007
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Author:
ironside (robertfrangie@hotmail.com) from Mexico
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
How could anyone ever know of the price paid by soldiers in terror,
agony, and bloodshed if they'd never been to places like Normandy,
Bastogne, or Haguenau? Battle of the Bulge or Battle of the Ardennes
was the last German offensive on the Western Front during World War II,
an unsuccessful attempt to push the Allies back from German home
territory...
The name "Battle of the Bulge" was appropriated from Winston
Churchill's optimistic description, in May 1940, of the resistance that
he mistakenly supposed was being offered to the German's breakthrough
in that area just before the Anglo-French collapse; the Germans were in
fact overwhelmingly successful
The "bulge" refers to the wedge that
they drove into the Allies lines...
Ken Annakin's film forgets those who fought and died in the real
'Bulge'. The Ardennes offensive never occurred like it was related in
the film...
The movie takes us to December 1944, where British and American armies
are in the threshold of victory
Stretched across half of Europe, the
Allies gathered themselves for the final assault on Germany
To the
north stood Montgomery's Eight Army, to the south, Patton's Third, in
the center, a few battle-weary American divisions rested in a quiet
sector
To them, the war seemed already won
But for Col. Kiley (Henry
Fonda) the German army, facing the Allies, is still an undefeated
enemy
Kiley still believes that the Germans are planning one last
major offensive
His superiors, Gen. Gray (Robert Ryan) and Col.
Pritchard (Dana Andrews), are doubtful of a German move
Col. Hessler (Robert Shaw) leads the full-scale attack in a huge wave
of tanks, eliminating everything in its way
His new 70-ton King Tiger
tank has two-and-a-half times the firepower and double the armor of the
American tanks
Filmed in Cinerama, the motion picture is a bloody war spectacle, quite
literate and handsome but too noisy and with emphasis on strategy
rather than character
24 out of 42 people found the following review useful:
Good movie, if you ignore the title, 16 October 2005
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Author:
Baron-von-Brunk from Lancaster, Pennsylvania, USA
Let's pretend this movie has nothing to do with the battle in Belgium,
winter 1944. The movie is only bad if you associate it too much with
the real life events, but if you focus on the amazing line-up of
actors, special effects, soundtrack, and battle sequences, it becomes a
very interesting and entertaining World War II movie. Although compared
to more realistic war movies like Patton, this film serves no real
educational value. To me it seems like a WWII fan-fiction of some sort,
like a "what-if" scenario. The movie would have probably been ridiculed
a lot less if it was titled something different (anything but The
Battle of the Bulge), therefore people would just assume it's some sort
of war sci-fi movie.
Don't let the title fool you; There's only a few things in the whole
movie which actually relate to the Ardennes 1944 (i.e., the snow
battles, unexpected German spearheads, General McAuliffe & the "nuts"
letter, locations in Malmedy, etc.), meanwhile there's no mention of
Patton's relief of Bastogne, which was the the event most people
associate with the real battle of the bulge in the first place.
Check this movie out if you'd like to see something different from
factual movies. It's a small break from reality, and portrayed in a
seemingly fictional (but real, technically) campaign in WWII. It's also
a great movie if you like all-star casts and A list actors.
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