I Spy (1965–1968)
Alexander Scott: Has anyone told you how good you look in that?
Kelly Robinson: Why, no...
Alexander Scott: Well, if they do, smack 'em in the face real fast, because they're not your friend.
[Commentary on Kelly's receiving a blown kiss.]
Alexander Scott: The wonderfulness of your charm.
Alexander Scott: This is how far a cigarette burns in five minutes.
Kelly Robinson: Is there no limit to the wonderfulness of your mind.
Kelly Robinson: Don't you ever bring a silencer?
Alexander Scott: Ruins the line of my suit.
Kelly Robinson: Mine too.
Alexander Scott: Well you have to get beat up every once in a while otherwise you go soft, right Kel?
[Contemplating a solid gold stove]
Kelly Robinson: I can just imagine the look on their faces when we unload a million dollars worth of stove on them. 875 pounds worth.
Alexander Scott: Yeah.
Kelly Robinson: Suppose by the time it got to Internal Revenue it only weighed 800 pounds?
Alexander Scott: See what you mean. Well the lid's loose, maybe the damper door?
Kelly Robinson: 75 lbs of gold must be worth a lot of money.
Alexander Scott: Seventy-two thousand.
Kelly Robinson: Already figured it out, huh?
Alexander Scott: Yeah. $60 an ounce on the Chinese black market. I think I can get $70 an ounce. I know a guy...
Kelly Robinson: $70 an ounce! Whew. A couple of one-way tickets to Tahiti would scarcely put a dent in it!
Alexander Scott: No sir. Have you ever seen a Taihitian hula?
Alexander Scott: Do-dump-de-dumpdy... You take the door and I'll take the lid.
Kelly Robinson: While we're at it we may want to hack off a couple of legs. We may want to entertain!
Alexander Scott: Right!
Kelly Robinson: No, we'd only lose our pension benefits.
Alexander Scott: Think we'd lose our jobs?
Kelly Robinson: Yeah. Such wonderful jobs too.
Alexander Scott: And the hospitalization is free.
Kelly Robinson: All those wonderful orthopedic devices.
Alexander Scott: I just love plaster of paris.
Kelly Robinson: Right.
Alexander Scott: Hey, what're you doing?
Kelly Robinson: I've come to save you.
Alexander Scott: You can't, man, I've got a boat coming, now get outa here!
Kelly Robinson: But I've come to rescue you.
Alexander Scott: You CAN'T rescue me NOW.
Kelly Robinson: How come you always embarrass me when I'm rescuing you.
Alexander Scott: I enjoy being made a fool of when I'm pleading for my country. It gives me a warm glow all over.
Kelly Robinson: Okay, Boy Wonder, you wanna get the collapsible batpole out of the glove compartment?