I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970)
Jeannie: Master is football more important to you than I am?
Major Nelson: Of course not, that's like comparing oranges and lemons.
Jeannie: And I'm the lemon.
Jeannie: I would not be going out with your best friend if I were married to his best friend.
Nelson: How are things going?
Jeannie: Terrible. I have to make dinner - I mean actually make it without magic. We are liable to die.
Major Nelson: Jeannie, I never knew how much you meant to me until this happened. I'm never going to let you out of my sight again. Look, I even brought you flowers. Once I get you out of there, I'm going to take you out to dinner... the best candle lit dinner...
[Dr Bellows, Major Healy and Harry walk in on Major Nelson talking to the moon safe]
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: A candle lit dinner...
Major Nelson: I can explain, sir.
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: Being in love with a safe, they haven't got a name for that one.
Major Nelson: Jeannie's turned against me.
Major Healey: She can't turn against you. Your her master. She as to obey you.
Major Nelson: Yeah, who says so?
Major Healey: I don't know, maybe it's in the genie manual.
Major Nelson: Then how come she's deliberately disobeyed me?
Major Healey: Maybe she wasn't issued a genie manual.
Jeannie: Master I have a mother-in-law problem.
Major Nelson: You can't have a mother-in-law problem. We are not married.
[Dr Bellows to Major Nelson after one of Jeannie's mishaps]
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: Some men dedicate their lives to science. Some men dedicate their lives to politics. I'm dedicating my life to understanding you.
Mrs Winker (house buyer): How many bedrooms do you have?
Jeannie: How many would you like?
Jeannie: How should I punish him? Should I give him death of a thousand itches.
Major Healey: How about scratches?
Jeannie: Itches are much worse.
Jeannie: Let me see now. A six letter word for rat. M-A-S-T-E-R.
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: You may be an expert in financial matters, Mr. Huggins, but I happen to be an expert in Major Anthony Nelson.
Amanda Bellows: [after Jeannie has turned Tony's living room into a campground with a fire, tent, and running brook] Oh, it's wonderful! Alfred, how come we never do anything like this?
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD: Amanda, I spend half my life *curing* people who do things like this!