Major Nelson:
Jeannie, I never knew how much you meant to me until this happened. I'm never going to let you out of my sight again. Look, I even brought you flowers. Once I get you out of there, I'm going to take you out to dinner... the best candle lit dinner...
[
Dr Bellows, Major Healy and Harry walk in on Major Nelson talking to the moon safe]
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD:
A candle lit dinner...
Major Nelson:
I can explain, sir.
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD:
Being in love with a safe, they haven't got a name for that one.
Major Nelson:
Jeannie's turned against me.
Major Healey:
She can't turn against you. Your her master. She as to obey you.
Major Nelson:
Yeah, who says so?
Major Healey:
I don't know, maybe it's in the genie manual.
Major Nelson:
Then how come she's deliberately disobeyed me?
Major Healey:
Maybe she wasn't issued a genie manual.
Blue Djinn:
How does thou wish to die?
Major Nelson:
Of old age.
Jeannie:
Master I have a mother-in-law problem.
Major Nelson:
You can't have a mother-in-law problem. We are not married.
Jeannie's Sister:
You can make a man eat shredded cardboard, if you play the right tricks.
Nelson:
How are things going?
Jeannie:
Terrible. I have to make dinner - I mean actually make it without magic. We are liable to die.
[
Dr Bellows to Major Nelson after one of Jeannie's mishaps]
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD:
Some men dedicate their lives to science. Some men dedicate their lives to politics. I'm dedicating my life to understanding you.
Mrs Winker (house buyer):
How many bedrooms do you have?
Jeannie:
How many would you like?
Jeannie:
How should I punish him? Should I give him death of a thousand itches.
Major Healey:
How about scratches?
Jeannie:
Itches are much worse.
Jeannie:
Master is football more important to you than I am?
Major Nelson:
Of course not, that's like comparing oranges and lemons.
Jeannie:
And I'm the lemon.
Jeannie:
Let me see now. A six letter word for rat. M-A-S-T-E-R.
Jeannie:
I would not be going out with your best friend if I were married to his best friend.
Officer Anderson:
You know, this is a one way street.
Jeannie:
I was only going one way.
Jeannie:
All I do is think and blink.
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD:
You may be an expert in financial matters, Mr. Huggins, but I happen to be an expert in Major Anthony Nelson.
Amanda Bellows:
[
after Jeannie has turned Tony's living room into a campground with a fire, tent, and running brook] Oh, it's wonderful! Alfred, how come we never do anything like this?
Col. Alfred E. Bellows, MD:
Amanda, I spend half my life *curing* people who do things like this!
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