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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
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Index 227 reviews in total 

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

So bad it has to be good.

7/10
Author: ofpsmith from United States
21 December 2015

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The plot is pretty much as stupid as the title makes it out to be. Santa Claus conquers the Martians, is about Martians who decide to kidnap Santa Claus (John Call) just because they don't have one. Billy Foster (Victor Stiles) and Betty Foster (Donna Conforti) become stowaways on the Martian ship and befriend Santa. When they get to Mars, Santa actually doesn't conquer the Martians as the title suggests. He just spreads his Christmas cheer on Mars. But the evil Martian, Voldar (Do you get it? It's a combination of villain and Martian. The film is very subtle that way.) (Vincent Beck) is still angry and wants to ruin Christmas. So the kids and Santa gang up on him and attack him with all different kinds of toys. Yeah, the story is a pretty big mess. But it's just so stupid that it ends up being enjoyable. It's almost as if it knew it was a B-movie so it's just trying to have fun with it. Think about it. No movie with the title Santa Claus Conquers the Martian it really meant to be taken seriously. Merry Christmas.

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2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Hooray for gloriously rancid no-budget yuletide sci-fi schlock!

10/10
Author: Woodyanders (Woodyanders@aol.com) from The Last New Jersey Drive-In on the Left
4 December 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Yes, this infamous Noel clinker is every bit as atrocious as its notorious reputation would suggest, but for all its admitted appalling awfulness it still nonetheless manages to be quite entertaining and often downright sidesplitting because it's just so incredibly silly, inept, and low-rent from the get-go. John Call horribly overdoes the hale'n'hearty merriment as an insufferably jolly Saint Nick. Vincent Beck likewise hams it up to a frighteningly horrendous degree as dastardly no-count meanie Voldar. But the top bad acting dishonors clearly go to Bill McCutcheon as the annoyingly giddy'n'giggly Dropo, who's supposed to be the comic relief of the piece, but instead comes across as a profoundly obnoxious nuisance. Of course, there's also the single most pitiful and unconvincing polar bear to ever shamble its pathetic way in front of a camera. The big clunky robot Torg is markedly less than impressive as well. The sets appear to be built out of cardboard, the cinematography looks ratty and washed-out throughout, the pace plods like a sad snail doped up on anti-depressant drugs, the fumbling (non)direction stinks, and the painfully forced attempts at wacky humor leave a great deal to be desired. Moreover, you'll never be able to forget that irritatingly catchy theme song "Hooray for Santa Claus" no matter how hard you try. As an added plus, the adorable Pia Zadora makes her illustrious cinematic debut as an unhappy Martain kid. A deliciously dreadful doozy.

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2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Not quite the worst movie ever made

1/10
Author: JohnHowardReid
24 December 2006

Although this movie has amassed a cult reputation as one of the worst movies ever made, it's not really inept enough to justify even a cursory look. True, the title song has a certain zingy bounce to it that promises hilarity and for a while there it seems we might be in for a mild spoof on Christmassy movies or even a send-up of Day the Earth Stood Still. Alas, despite the expenditure of a fair bit of money on sets and costumes, every plot opening turns into a dead end.

Admittedly, not the worst movie ever made but it tries mighty hard to reach that distinction. If the script was meant to be joked up or played tongue-in-cheek, almost the entire cast seems unaware of that fact. In fact, John Call and Leonard Hicks are offered some really splendid comic opportunities but both seem relentlessly bent on playing the script straight, despite prodding by Vincent Beck and Bill McCutcheon (plus Don Blair in a small part as the television news announcer) to follow their examples. Mr Call in particular deserves some sort of commendation for his successful efforts to rob the role of any satiric humor, although Mr Webster's unhelpfully leaden direction must also cop a fair share of the blame.

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3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Hooray For Santy Claus!

8/10
Author: ClassixFan from USA
27 July 2004

This film used to occasionally show up on our local PBS station and the first time I ever saw it, I thought it was a joke or some odd skit. I immediately fell in love with this film, just because of it's high camp level and because how can anyone find fault with a cult classic like this? Sure, the acting is stiff and the story is laughable, but isn't a film supposed to entertain? This one definitely delivers with the camp and entertainment, but it does have some good going for it....John Call has to be one of the best looking film Santa's I've ever seen. He chuckles and smiles his way through the film in spite of the goofiness of the film.

Basically, Santa and two Earth children are kidnapped and taken to Mars, when Martian parents begin to worry about the time their children are spending in front of the video monitors and the overwhelming sadness that they seem to be enveloped with. Of course, you have a rotten Martian who does all he can to destroy Santa, the Earth children and the leader of the Martians, a large robot and a Martian-elf-wannabe.

I love the opening theme and the film, I just wish someone could find a better video quality version to release!

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3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

This is my favorite Christmas Movie

8/10
Author: busguy from Los Angeles
7 December 2003

I always looked forward to seeing this movie every year. Sure it's cheesy, but it's a kids movie! I tried to talk my parents into letting me build a console like the one on the Martian spaceship so I could put it in my room. Everyone should see this film!

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3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

turn off your brain and have fun!

Author: Mike Tunnicliff from Syracuse, New York
10 July 1999

It seems to me that everyone who has anything to say about this film always comes loaded for bear. Why? This is a fun film! It seems to be a common belief that it is a bad film. Perhaps it is . Perhaps it is also one of those guilty pleasures that people don't ever want to admit to enjoying. Yes it is bad. Yes it is astonishing that anyone would have even conceived of creating such a mind=bogglingly inane Christmas concoction. And yet....there is something irresistible about this movie. John Call plays Santa like he's had far too much egg nog. And the sudden shifts in plot and mood are more jarring than those found in more famous midnite monstrosities such as BARBARELLA. The Martians are a scream, and the sets are right out of Captain Video. The plot really isn't much different or more advanced than the Saturday morning shows many of us grew up on. No its not Citizen Kane or Schindler's List. It is so much on the other end of the spectrum that it HAS to be watched! So turn on your tv. Tune in this movie. Tune out your brain...and have fun!!!

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

If this movie was any better, God Himself would have filmed it!

9/10
Author: Dropo from Spartanburg, South Carolina
23 December 2004

This movie is about the only thing that does not depress me about the holiday season. Well that Star Wars Christmas album is alright too. Anyway, do yourself a favor and hunt down this movie. Force some loved ones to watch it with you. It will be a holiday memory nobody will soon forget. This movie has martians. It has Santa Claus. It has a kick-ass theme song that will be stuck in your head for all eternity. If you like Christmas movies, or sci-fi, or camp this is the flick for you. There is also a bear and a lobster clawed robot. And a guy that looks like Klinger from MASH but isn't. What more do you want, a depressed Yoda-like martian? The movie has that as well!

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Greatest Christmas Story Since Santa With Muscles

9/10
Author: Robert Elwood Grove (discogrove) from Funkytown, PA
21 December 2002

Alright amigos, I just have to say that SCCTM is off the heezy fo sheezy. This movie was well worth the $4 I paid for it (on DVD quality no less!). Anyway, I don't wanna give away the story, but there's Santa, Robots, Martians... all the makings of a blockbuster. Lady Momar is pretty fine for 1960's standards. All in all I'd give this film 9 out of 10. That's one star short of pure gold, due to lack of kung fu. Well, peace out amigos.

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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

No matter what they say...this movie is cute!

Author: bfjrnski (bfjrnski@home.com) from woodlyn, pennsylvania
5 January 2002

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has been (deservedly)called one of the weirdest movies ever made!An early effort of Joseph E.Levine this cheaply and quickly produced movie has survived nearly 40 years despite the continuous barrage of scathing reviews and critical jeers!Still it has somehow struck a cord in the sentimental hearts of moviegoers of all ages!No matter how bad it really is "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is a cute little holiday romp that will made you both laugh and smile! The plot of course is simple:Mars is desperately in need of something to make it's children laugh and play!Of course they watch "earth shows" on their (intragalactic?) TVs and dream of having toys and holidays to look forward to!The head Martian decides to invade earth,kidnap Santa,and start a Christmas (Santa,toys & all) on Mars! On the way to find the "real" Santa these Martians meet little Billy and Betty-and force them to join Santa on his new journey as Mar's Santa!The bad Martians want no part of Santa and toys and try to get rid of him (along with the little earthlings Billy and Betty) But,no avail,Santa and the "Christmas Spirit" wins out in the end and even elects the lovable,dimwitted Martian Dropo as the new Santa for the children of Mars! I guess what makes this silly film so endearing is the sincere portrayals of it's characters!Despite the lack of good scripting and scenery these actors take their roles quite seriously and play their roles quite realistically!And the Santa Claus character...well I haven't seen such a convincing portrayal since 1947s "Miracle on 34th Street" All in all it's a cute movie with some funny characters and a nice happy ending! Enjoy it with the kids and have some fun!!

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5 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

Completely entertaining!

10/10
Author: Casey-52 from DVD Drive-In
5 June 2000

Even though "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is always on the bottom 100 list here at the IMDb, it's not as bad as you would think. Personally, a bad movie to me is one that has no entertainment value whatsoever (or a movie that has nearly no entertainment value). For example, "Demented" and "Burial Ground" are bad movies in my book. "Santa Claus" is not.

The storyline is simple: Santa Claus is kidnapped by Martians to provide joy and toys to the children of Mars when they become overly depressed. Sounds like an ingredient for one of the worst movies of all time, right? Wrong! This movie is pure entertainment from beginning to end! It doesn't ever get REALLY boring, instead having long stretches of goofy comedy that isn't funny for the right reasons. The acting is mediocre at best, but I did like the sets they used. Very surrealistic, in my opinion. There is plenty of great dialogue to laugh at (i.e, "I wasn't sleeping! I just haven't been able to sleep these past few nights...I forgot how! So I was just practicing!"), most of it coming from clumsy Droppo, "the laziest man on Mars!". The little children who are kidnapped by the Martians are a mix of wooden and dedicated. Of course, some scenes' inadequacy are inexcusable! The polar bear costume is obviously fake and the Martian guns are Whammo Air Blasters that freeze people (who manage to keep moving and blinking, for some reason)!

Scenes to watch for: the Martians use the robot Torg to kidnap Santa, but Santa makes him into a toy!; the 'suspenseful' space door scene; the 'amazing' toy conveyor belt; Droppo passing as Santa (antennae and all); and the final showdown between Voldar and Santa, utilizing bubbles, water guns, soldiers, and other conveniently placed toys! "Santa Claus" is pure entertainment, in my opinion, and all those who speak against it should be sent to Mars!

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