Hargo: What's soft and round and you put it on a stick and you toast it in a fire, and it's green?
Kimar: I don't know what?
Hargo: A Martian mellow.
Kimar: Dropo, you are the laziest man on Mars. Why are you sleeping during working hours?
Dropo: I wasn't sleeping, chief. It's just that I haven't been able to sleep these last few months. I forgot how. So I was just practicing.
Betty: What are those funny things sticking out of your head?
Rigna: Those are our antennae.
Betty: Are you a television set?
Santa Claus: Well, when Voldar "accidentally" left us in the airlock and then came up here and "accidentally" threw the door switch, we knew we had to get out of there in a hurry or that would be the end of us. Eh, uh, "accidentally," of course.
[after being asked if he is going to use a rocket sleigh]
Santa Claus: No siree! We're going out the good ol' fashioned way. Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon... oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names.
Andy Henderson: What is this strange looking creature over here?
Santa Claus: Oh, Winky made that. That's his idea of a Martian.
Andy Henderson: A Martian? Wow-wee-wow! I'd hate to meet a creature like that on a dark night.
TV News Announcer: Here's another UFO Bulletin: The Defense Department has just announced that the unidentified flying object suddenly disappeared from our radar screen. They believe the object has either dissintegrated in space, or it may be a space ship from another planet which has the ability to nullify all radar beams.
[Voldar doesn't think it's worth the trouble to kidnap Santa Claus and fly him to Mars]
Voldar: All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit!
Rigna: Chochem is eight hundred years old, you can't dismiss the wisdom of centuries.
Voldar: I can.
Kimar: Chochem! Chochem! Are you here? Ancient one of Mars, I call upon you.
TV News Announcer: [News report after Santas disappearance] And Mrs. Claus has positively identified the kidnappers as Martians.
Voldar: If we take them with us to Mars, Santa's disappearance will remain a mystery. No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians.