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Tim Avery, an aspiring cartoonist, finds himself in a predicament when his dog stumbles upon the mask of Loki. Then after conceiving an infant son "born of the mask", he discovers just how looney child raising can be.
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Martians, upset that their children have become obsessed with TV shows from Earth which extol the virtues of Santa Claus, start an expedition to Earth to kidnap the one and only Santa. While on Earth, they kidnap two lively children that lead the group of Martians to the North Pole and Santa. The Martians then take Santa and the two children back to Mars with them. Voldar, a particularly grumpy Martian, attempts to do away with the children and Santa before they get to Mars, but their leader Lomas stops him. When they arrive on Mars, Santa, with the help of the two Earth children and a rather simple-minded Martian lackey, overcomes the Martians by bringing fun, happiness and Christmas cheer to the children of Mars. Written by
First I saw "Reefer Madness." It was bad, but great.
Then I saw "Plan 9 From Outer Space." Horrible, but enjoyable.
After that I saw "Robot Monster." Awful and yet spectacular.
Finally, I saw "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" Wow, how can you make a lame plot for a screenplay worse? By making a low budget film out of it. And that's just what Joseph Levine thought when he released this film onto an unsuspecting Earth. Now I ask you, is this indeed the WORST film of all time? My opinion: NO. In my translation of the meaning "bad film" means "unbearable, unwatchable and disposable." Not "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." This film is a landmark in the American motion picture industry. The makers of this film actually had the guts to create and release this film. Now that takes some serious talent! Let's not forget the actors either. Surprisingly the acting isn't nearly as bad as it's made out to be (people confuse the 'acting' with the 'plot.'). The children, the Martians and even Santa Claus make one heck of an impression on a shoe-string budget film like this (don't forget that weird professor Albert Einstein wannabe). Above all, clever a production design really create a fine sense of cheesiness. Now, how about a brand new DVD 'Special Cheesy Edition' of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians?"
"Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is a rare and satisfying little gem of a film that broke, no, shattered all the rules of making a "good and enjoyable" movie. Now if only the bad films we get nowadays would be as bad as this one. Then they would actually be deemed "enjoyable."
I give "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" 5 frozen-stiff elves zapped by Voldar, out of 5.
A true cinematic cult classic.
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