Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
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Hermey: Hey, what do you say we both be independent together, huh?
Rudolph: You wouldn't mind my - red nose?
Hermey: Not if you don't mind me being a dentist.
Rudolph: It's a deal.
[Rudolph, Yukon and Hermey are traveling through thick fog]
Yukon Cornelius: This fog's as thick as peanut butter!
Hermey: You mean pea soup.
Yukon Cornelius: You eat what you like, and I'll eat what I like!
Head Elf: Why weren't you at elf practice?
Hermey: Just fixing these dolls' teeth.
Head Elf: Just fixing...? Now listen, we have dolls that cry, talk, walk, blink and run a temperature. We don't need any chewing dolls!
Hermey: But I just thought I'd find a way to - to fit in.
Head Elf: You'll never fit in! Now you come to elf practice, learn how to wiggle your ears, chuckle warmly, go hee-hee and ho-ho, and important stuff like that. A dentist! Good grief!
[slams door]
Hermey: [singing] Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit. You can't fire me, I quit. Seems I don't fit in.
Rudolph: [singing] Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nit-wit. Just because my nose glows, seems I don't fit in.
Rudolph: Hey, Clarice? After practice, would you... would you...
Comet the Coach: Rudolph! You get back here! It's your turn, you know!
Rudolph: Gee, I gotta go back!
[starts to run off but then runs back]
Rudolph: Would you walk home with me?
Clarice: Uh-huh. Rudolph? I think you're cute.
Rudolph: [jumping around] I'm cute! I'm CUTE!
Rudolph: What do you want?
Clarice: You promised to walk me home.
Rudolph: Aren't you going to laugh at my nose too?
Clarice: I think it's a handsome nose. Much better than that false one you were wearing.
Rudolph: It's terrible... and different from everybody else's!
Clarice: But that's what makes it so grand. Why, any doe would be lucky to know someone with a nose like that.
Rudolph: Yeah? But I wasn't very lucky today, was I?
Clarice: Is something wrong with your nose? I mean, you talk kind of funny.
Rudolph: [about to lose his cool] What's so funny about the way I talk?
Clarice: Well, don't get angry. I don't mind.
Donner: Alright, son, try it on.
Rudolph: I don't want to, Daddy. I don't like it.
Donner: You'll like it and wear it!
Rudolph: But Daddy, it's not very comfortable!
Donner: There are more important things than comfort: self respect! Santa can't object to you now.
Rudolph: Goodbye, Hermey. Whatever a dentist is, I hope someday you will be the greatest.
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: Meanwhile, the elves are bustling with activity. Christmas is over, but they still keep busy with lessons in elf improvement.
Head Elf: Hermey! Aren't you finished painting that yet? There's a pile up a mile wide behind you! What's eating you, boy?
Hermey: Not happy with my work, I guess.
Head Elf: What?
Hermey: I just don't like to make toys.
Head Elf: Oh well if that's all... What? You don't like to make toys?
Hermey: No.
Head Elf: Hermey doesn't like to make toys.
Elves: Hermey doesn't like to make toys. Shame on you!
Head Elf: Do you mind telling me what you do wanna do?
Hermey: Well, sir, some day, I'd like to be... a dentist.
Head Elf: A dentist?
Hermey: Well, we need one up here. I've been studying molars and bicuspids and incisors...
Head Elf: Now listen, you! You're an elf, and elves make toys. Now, get to work!
[whistle blows]
Head Elf: Ten minute break!
[Hermey smiles, but then the head elf jumps him]
Head Elf: Not for you! Finish the job, or you're fired!
Charlie-In-The-Box: I am the official sentry of the Isle of Misfit toys.
Hermey: A jack-in-the-box for a sentry?
Charlie-In-The-Box: Yes. My name is...
Rudolph: Don't tell me: Jack.
Charlie-In-The-Box: No, Charlie. That's why I'm a misfit toy. My name is all wrong. No child wants to play with a Charlie-In-The-Box so I had to come here.
Rudolph: But you fell off the edge of the cliff.
Yukon Cornelius: Didn't I ever tell you about Bumbles? Bumbles bounce.
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: Now don't any of you worry your heads about Santa, Mrs. Claus will have him plenty fattened up before Christmas eve. It's always the same story.
Yukon Cornelius: We'll have to outwit the fiend with our superior intelligence.
Rudolph: How?
Yukon Cornelius: Douse your nose and run like crazy!
Yukon Cornelius: You're going to stay with me and we'll all be rich with the biggest silver strike this side of Hudson Bay. Silver!
Hermey: I thought you wanted gold.
Yukon Cornelius: I changed my mind.
Mrs. Claus: Eat, Poppa, eat.
Santa Claus: How can I eat? That silly elf song is driving me crazy.
Mrs. Claus: You're gonna disappoint the children. They expect a fat Santa.
Santa Claus: From what I see now, that will cut through the murkiest storm they can dish up. What I'm trying to say is, Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?
Rudolph: It would be an honor, sir.
Santa Claus: Great bouncing icebergs.
Mrs. Donner: He's got a shiny nose.
Donner: Sh-sh-sh-shiny? I'd even say it glows.
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: Could it be that some of you are not acquainted with the story of Rudolph? Well pull up an ice block and lend an ear.
Yukon Cornelius: Open up. Isn't a fit night out for man nor beast.
[Enters]
Yukon Cornelius: Here's the man
[Brings in the Abominable Snowman on a leash]
Yukon Cornelius: and here's the beast.
Yukon Cornelius: Observe the bumble's one weakness... The bumble sinks! Ha ha!
Comet the Coach: From now on, gang, we won't let Rudolph join in any reindeer games.
[first lines]
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: If I live to be 100, I'll never forget that big snow storm a couple of years ago. The weather closed in and, well you might not believe it, but the world almost missed Christmas. Oh, excuse me, call me Sam. What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a talking snowman before?
Yukon Cornelius: Whoa. Whoa. Unmush, will ya?
Mrs. Donner: We'll simply have to overlook it.
Donner: How can you overlook that? His beak blinks like a blinking beacon.
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: Now you can bet that Old Donner felt pretty bad about the way he had treated Rudolph, and he decided the only thing to do was to go out and look for his little buck. Mrs. Donner wanted to go along, naturally, but Donner said...
Donner: No. This is man's work.
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: And no sooner did the man of the house leave when Mrs. Donner and Clarice decided to set out on their own. Now they were really taking their chances.
King Moonraiser: A toy is never truly happy until it is loved by a child.
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: Of course the main inhabitants up here are Santa and the Missus. That's their home over there. First castle on the left. As a matter of fact, it's the only castle on the left.
Santa Claus: [singing] Jingle, jingle, jingle / Hear my sleigh bells ring / I am old Kris Kringle / I'm the king of jing-a-ling.
Head Elf: That sounded terrible! The tenor section was weak!
Elf: Wasn't our fault, boss. Hermey didn't show up.
Head Elf: What?
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: Like I said, the outside world is up to its ears in danger.
King Moonraiser: Come closer. What do you desire?
Rudolph: Well, we're a couple of misfits from Christmastown, and we'd like to live here.
King Moonraiser: No. That would not be possible. This island is for toys alone.
Yukon Cornelius: How do you like that? Even among misfits you're a misfit.
Clarice: He'll be a hero after this!
Mrs. Donner: Yes, a hero!
Donner: That's my little buck!
Donner: Now don't worry about your nose, son. Just get out there and do your stuff. Remember, you're my little buck.
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: [laughs] Silver and gold. Well, what do you think of our friend Cornelius? Seems all he thinks about is silver and gold.
Head Elf: Okay, you can open a dentist office, next week, after Christmas.
Hermey: Come here. Open your mouth.
Head Elf: [opens his mouth] Ah...
Hermey: Oh, my! I'd better set an appointment up for you a week from Tuesday, 4:30 sharp!
Yukon Cornelius: [driving his dogsled] Mush! Don't you understand North Pole talk? Mush!
Yukon Cornelius: Terrible weather we've been havin'!
[chuckles]
Yukon Cornelius: Snow, and ice!
[chuckles more]

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