Mary Poppins (1964)
Mary Poppins: In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and - SNAP - the job's a game!
Mrs. Banks: [singing] We're clearly soldiers in petticoats, and dauntless crusaders for women's a-votes! Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid.
[On the failure of their previous nanny]
Mrs. Banks: I'm sorry, dear, but when I chose Katie Nana, I thought she would be firm with the children. She looked so solemn and cross.
George Banks: My dear, never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.
Mr. Banks: [singing] I feel a surge of deep satisfaction, much as a king astride his noble steed.
Mr. Banks: Thank you.
Mr. Banks: When I return from daily strife, to hearth and wife, how pleasant is the life I lead!
Mrs. Banks: Dear, it's about the children...
Mr. Banks: Yes, yes, yes.
Mr. Banks: I run my home precisely on schedule. At 6:01, I march through my door. My slippers, sherry, and pipe are due at 6:02. Consistent is the life I lead!
Mrs. Banks: George, they're missing!
Mr. Banks: Splendid, splendid.
Mr. Banks: It's grand to be an Englishman in 1910! King Edward's on the throne, it's the age of men! I'm the lord of my castle, the sovereign, the liege!
Mr. Banks: I treat my subjects, servants, children, wife with a firm but gentle hand, noblesse oblige.
Mr. Banks: It's 6:03, and the heirs to my dominion are scrubbed and tubbed, and adequately fed. And so I'll pat them on the head, and send them off to bed. Ah, lordly is the life I lead!
Mr. Banks: Winifred, where are the children?
Mrs. Banks: They're not here, dear.
Mr. Banks: What? Well, of course they're here! Where else would they be?
Michael: [talking about Mary Poppins] We better keep an eye on this one. She's tricky.
Mary Poppins: Our first game is called Well Begun is Half-Done.
Michael: I don't like the sound of that.
Mary Poppins: Otherwise titled Let's Tidy up the Nursery.
Michael: [to Jane] I told you she was tricky.
Mary Poppins: That's a piecrust promise. Easily made, easily broken.
Mary Poppins: [singing] Stay awake, don't rest your head. Don't lie down upon your bed. While the moon drifts in the skies... Stay awake, don't close your eyes. Though the world is fast asleep, though your pillow's soft and deep, you're not sleepy as you seem; stay awake, don't nod and dream... Stay awake... don't nod... and... dream.
Mrs. Banks: But you're always saying that you wanted a cheerful and pleasant household.
Mr. Banks: Winifred, I should like to make a slight differentiation between the word cheerful and just plain giddy irresponsibility.
Jane: Mary Poppins, we won't let you go!
Mary Poppins: Go? What on earth are you talking about?
Michael: Didn't you get sacked?
Mary Poppins: Sacked? Certainly not. I am never sacked!
Jane: Oh, Mary Poppins!
Mary Poppins: Neither am I a Maypole. Kindly stop spinning about me.
Mary Poppins: [singing] Early each day to the steps of St. Paul's, the little old bird woman comes... In her own special way to the people she calls, come buy my bags full of crumbs. Come feed the little birds, show them you care, and you'll be glad if you do. Their young ones are hungry, their nests are so bare; all it takes is tuppence from you. Feed the birds, tuppence a bag. Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag... Feed the birds, that's what she cries, while overhead her birds fill the skies. All around the cathedral the saints and apostles look down as she sells her wares. Although you can't see it, you know they are smiling each time someone shows that he cares. Though her words are simple and few, listen, listen, she's calling to you. Feed the birds, tuppence a bag. Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag. Though her words are simple and few, listen, listen she's calling to you. Feed the birds, tuppence a bag. Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag.
Mary Poppins: We can't have them gallivanting up there like kangaroos, can we?
[Mary Poppins measures herself with her tape measure and reads what it says]
Mary Poppins: As I expected. "Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way."
Mrs. Banks: As a matter of fact, since you hired Mary Poppins, the most extraordinary things seem to have come over the household.
Mr. Banks: Is that so?
Mrs. Banks: Take Ellen, for instance. She hasn't broken a dish all morning.
Mr. Banks: Really? Well, that is extraordinary.
Bert: You're a man of high position, esteemed by your peers.
Bert: And when your little tykes are crying, you haven't time to dry their tears... And see their thankful little faces smiling up at you... 'Cause their dad, he always knows just what to do...
George Banks: Well, look - I...
Bert: Say no more, Gov'ner.
Bert: You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone... Though childhood slips like sand through a sieve... And all too soon they've up and grown, and then they've flown... And it's too late for you to give - just that spoonful of sugar to 'elp the medicine go down - medicine go dow-wown, medicine go down.
Bert: Well, goodbye, Gov'ner. Sorry to trouble you.
[Bert exits, whistling "A Spoonful of Sugar"]
George Banks: [singing] A British bank is run with precision. A British home requires nothing less! Tradition, discipline, and rules must be the tools! Without them: disorder, catastrophe! Anarchy! In short, you have a ghastly mess!
Horseman: [saluting] View halloo!
Horse: [also saluting] Oh, yes, definitely. A view halloo.
Fox: View halloo?
[the horseman blows his bugle and the others pursue the fox]
Fox: Faith and begora, 'tis them Redcoats again!
Bert: You know, begging your pardon, but the one my heart goes out to is your father. There he is in that cold, heartless bank day after day, hemmed in by mounds of cold, heartless money. I don't like to see any living thing caged up.
Jane: Father? In a cage?
Bert: They makes cages in all sizes and shapes, you know. Bank-shaped, some of 'em, carpets and all.
Mary Poppins: [singing] So when the cat has got your tongue, there's no need for dismay! Just summon up this word, and then you've got a lot to say! But better use it carefully or it could change your life...
Busker: For example...
Mary Poppins: Yes?
Busker: One night I said it to me girl, and now me girl's me wife.
[Wife gets angry and hits him with tambourine]
Busker: Ow! And a lovely thing she is, too.
Jane: [reading advertisement for a new nanny] "Wanted: a nanny for two adorable children."
George Banks: Adorable. Well that's debatable, I must say.
Jane: [singing] If you want this choice position, have a cheery disposition...
George Banks: Jane, I don't...
Jane: Rosy cheeks, no warts...
Michael: That's the part I put in!
Jane: Play games, all sorts. You must be kind, you must be witty, very sweet, and fairly pretty...
George Banks: Well of all the ridiculous...!
Mrs. Banks: George, please!
Jane: Take us on outings, give us treats, sing songs, bring sweets. Never be cross or cruel. Never give us castor oil or gruel. Love us as a son and daughter, and never smell of barley water.
Michael: I put that in, too!
Jane: If you won't scold and dominate us, we will never give you cause to hate us. We won't hide your spectacles so you can't see, put toads in your bed, or pepper in your tea. Hurry, nanny! Many thanks! Sincerely...
Mary Poppins: [singing] Chim Chiminy, Chim Chiminy, Chim Chim Chiree! When you're with a 'sweep, you're in glad company.
Bert: Never was there a more happier crew, than them what sings Chim Chim Chiree Chim Chiroo! Chim Chim Chiminy Chim Chim Chiree Chim Chiroo...
Mr. Dawes Sr.: While stand the banks of England, England stands - whoa, whoa...!
[Mr. Dawes lurches forward, the others steady him]
Mr. Dawes Sr.: When fall the banks of England... ENGLAND FALLS!
[Mr. Dawes falls backward; the rest of the Board of Directors have to catch him]
Admiral Boom: [observing the queue of prospective nannies] Ghastly looking crew, I must say!
Mrs. Banks: Oh, George, you didn't jump into the river. How sensible of you!
[Mr. Banks kisses her]
Constable Jones: [into phone] It's all right, sir, he's been found! No, *alive*! Or so I presume, he's a-kissin' the Mrs. Banks.
Mrs. Banks: I've been so worried, what happened at the ba...
[Mr. Banks picks her up and whirls her around]
Mr. Banks: I've been sacked! Discharged! Flung into the street!
Mr. Banks: A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down! Tra-la-laaa-lalalalala!
Ellen: Gone off his crumpet, that's what he's done. Dotty as you please.
Bert: [singing] Winds in the east, mist coming in. / Like somethin' is brewin' and bout to begin. / Can't put me finger on what lies in store, / But I fear what's to happen all happened before.
Mr. Dawes Sr.: Well, do you have anything to say, Banks?
George Banks: Well, sir, they do say that when there's nothing to say, all you can say...
[He feels Michael's tuppence in his pocket, takes it out and looks at it]
Mr. Dawes Sr.: Confound it, Banks! I said do you have anything to say?
George Banks: [begins giggling hysterically] Just one word, sir...
Mr. Dawes Sr.: Yes?
George Banks: Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious!
Mr. Dawes Sr.: What?
George Banks: Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious! Mary Poppins was right, it's extraordinary! It *does* make you feel better! Hee hee hee hee!
Mr. Dawes Sr.: What are you talking about, man? There's no such word!
George Banks: Oh yes! It is a word! A perfectly good word! Actually, do you know what there's no such thing as? It turns out, with due respect, when all is said and done, that there's no such thing as YOU!
Bert: All right, I'll do it myself!
Mary Poppins: Do what?
Bert: Bit o' magic!
Michael: A bit of magic?
Bert: It's easy! Let's see... You think.
[he, Jane, and Michael do so]
Bert: You wink.
[they do so]
Bert: You do a double blink.
[they do so]
Bert: You close your eyes... and jump!
[They jump onto the drawing, nothing happens]
Jane: Is something s'posed to happen?
Mary Poppins: Bert, what utter nonsense!
[gives an exasperated sigh]
Mary Poppins: Why do you *always* complicate things that are really quite simple? Give me your hand please, Michael. Don't slouch. One... two...
[They jump into the chalk picture]
Mr. Banks: Just a moment, Mary Poppins. What is the meaning of this outrage?
Mary Poppins: I beg your pardon?
Mr. Banks: Will you be good enough to explain all this?
Mary Poppins: First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear.
Mr. Banks: Yes?
Mary Poppins: I never explain anything.
Bert: It's true that Mavis and Sybil have ways that are winning, and Prudence and Gwendolyn set your heart spinning! Phoebe's delightful, Maude is disarming...
Penguins: Janice, Felicia, Lydia...
Bert: ...charming! Cynthia's dashing, Vivian's sweet! Stephanie's smashing, Priscilla's a treat.
Penguins: Veronica, Millicent, Agnes, and Jane...
Bert: ...convivial company, time and again. Dorcas and Phyllis and Glynis are sorts I will agree are three jolly good sports, but cream of the crop, tip of the top - It's Mary Poppins, and there we stop!
George Banks: Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts.
George Banks: [singing] A man has dreams of walking with giants. To carve his niche in the edifice of time. Before the mortar of his seal has a chance to congeal... The cup is dashed from his lips! The flame is snuffed a-borning... He's brought to wrack and ruin in his prime.
Mary Poppins: Close your mouth, please, Michael. We are not a codfish.
Mary Poppins: You know, you *can* say it backwards, which is "docious-ali-expi-istic-fragil-cali-rupus" - but that's going a bit too far, don't you think?
Bert: Now this im-posin' edifice what first meets the eye is the 'ome of Admiral Boom, late of His Majesty's Navy. Likes his house ship-shape, he does. Shipe-shape and Bristol fashion at all times!
[the Admiral blows his whistle]
Admiral Boom: Time gun ready?
Mr. Binnacle: Ready and charged, sir.
Admiral Boom: Three minutes and six seconds.
Mr. Binnacle: Aye, aye, sir.
Bert: What he's famous for is punctuality. The whole world takes its time from Greenwich, but Greenwich, they say, takes its time from Admiral Boom.
[to Admiral Boom]
Bert: Wotcher, Admiral!
Admiral Boom: Good afternoon to you, young man. Where are you bound?
Bert: Number 17. Got some parties 'ere in town what wants to see it.
Admiral Boom: [to Binnacle] Enter that in the log.
Mr. Binnacle: Aye, aye, sir.
Admiral Boom: A word of advice, young man: storm signals are up at number 17. Bit of heavy weather brewing there.
Bert: Thanks, sir. Keep an eye skinned.
Bert: Here we are, 17 Cherry Tree Lane, home of George Banks Esquire.
[screaming and shouting is heard from the house]
Bert: 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! Admiral's right: heavy weather brewin' at number 17 and no mistake.
Bert: All right, ladies an' gents! Comical poem! Suitable for the occasion, extemporized and thought up before your very eyes! All right, 'ere we go!
Bert: Room 'ere for everyone. Gather around.
Bert: The constable - responstable! Now 'ow does that sound?
[dashes over to Miss Lark, sings]
Bert: 'Ello, Miss Lark, I've got one for you.
Bert: Miss Lark... likes to walk... in the park... with Andrew!
[Andrew barks, then Bert tips his hat to him]
Bert: Hello, Andrew.
[turns to Mrs. Corry, sings]
Bert: Ah, Mrs. Corry, a story for you.
Bert: Your daughters were shorter than you - but they grew!
Mr. Banks: [singing] With tuppence for paper and strings, you can have your own set of wings! With your feet on the ground you're a bird in flight, with your fist holding tight to the string of your kite! Oh, oh, oh, let's go fly a kite, up to the highest height! Let's go fly a kite, and send it soaring! Up through the atmosphere, up where the air is clear! Oh, let's go... fly a kite!
Mary Poppins: [singing] He traveled all around the world, and everywhere he went, he'd use his word, and all would say, "There goes a clever gent!"
Bert: [singing] When dukes or maharajahs pass the time o' day wi' me, I say me special word and then they ask me out to tea!
Mary Poppins, Bert: Oh, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Bert: Bert'll take care of you; like I was your own father. Now, who's after you?
Jane: Father is.
Bert: It reminds me of me brother. He got a nice cushy job at a watch factory.
Uncle Albert: At a watch factory? What does he do?
Bert: He stands about all day... and makes faces!
Uncle Albert: [laughing hysterically] He makes faces in a watch factory!
Mr. Dawes Jr: In 1773, an official of this bank unwisely loaned a large sum of money to finance a shipment of tea to the American colonies. Do you know what happened?
George W. Banks: Yes, sir. Yes, I think I do. As the ship lay anchored in Boston Harbor, a party of the colonists dressed as red Indians boarded the vessel, behaved very rudely, and threw all the tea overboard. This made the tea unsuitable for drinking. Even for Americans.
Mr. Dawes Jr: Precisely. The loan was defaulted. Panic ensued within these walls. There was a run on the bank.
Mr. Dawes Sr.: From that time to this, sir, there has not been a run on this bank - UNTIL TODAY. A run, sir, caused by the disgraceful conduct of your son. Do you deny it?
George W. Banks: I do not deny it, sir, and I shall gladly assume responsibility for my son.
Mary Poppins: I beg your pardon, are you ill?
George Banks: I hope not.
Jane: Good morning, father!
George W. Banks: [grumbles] 'Morning.
Jane: Mary Poppins taught us the most wonderful word!
George W. Banks: What on Earth are you talking about, supercal... super... or whatever the infernal thing is?
Jane: It's something to say when you don't know what to say.
George W. Banks: Yes, well, I always know what to say.
Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I saved for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it?
Uncle Albert: [sobbing] I'd be so grateful.
Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. He was so scared, he chewed his pillow to bits. Bits. In the morning, I says, "How you feel, Granddad?" He says, "Oh, not bad. A little down in the mouth."
[Bert laughs, Uncle Albert sobs harder]
Bert: I always say there's nothing like a good joke.
Uncle Albert: [sobbing] No, and that was nothing like a good joke.
Uncle Albert: Speaking of weather, the other day when it was so cold, a friend of mine went to buy some long underwear. The shopkeeper said to him, "How long do you want it?" And my friend said, "Well, from about September to March."
George Banks: [Going to see the bank] Remember that the bank is a quiet and decorous place, and we must be on our best behavior.
Michael: But I thought it was your bank.
George Banks: Yes, well, I'm one of the junior officers, so in a sense it is. Sort of.
Bert: [about his chalk drawings] Not Royal Academy, I suppose. Still better than a finger in the eye, ain't they?
George Banks: Shut the window. That bird is giving me a headache.
Ellen: Yes sir.
[to the bird]
Ellen: Quiet! You're giving the master a headache!
George Banks: I suggest you have this piano repaired. When I sit down to an instrument, I like to have it in tune.
Mrs. Banks: But, George, you don't play.
George Banks: Madam, that is entirely beside the point!
Michael: I want it to feed the birds.
Mr. Dawes Sr.: Fiddlesticks, boy! Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds! But...
Mr. Dawes Sr.: If you invest your tuppence wisely in the bank, safe and sound, soon that tuppence, safely invested in the bank, will compound! And you'll achieve that sense of conquest, as your affluence expands! In the hands of the directors, who invest as propriety demands!
Bert: What did I tell ya? There's the whole world at your feet. And who gets to see it but the birds, the stars, and the chimney sweeps.
Mrs. Banks: [singing] Our daughters' daughters will adore us and they'll sing in grateful chorus, "Well done, sister suffragettes."
Bert: Goodbye, Mary Poppins, don't stay away too long.
Admiral Boom: [seeing the chimney sweeps dancing on the rooftops] We're being attacked by hottentots!
Mrs. Banks: I'll try to do better next time.
Mr. Banks: Next time? My dear, you've engaged six nannies in the last four months. And they've all been unqualified disasters.
George Banks: [singing] These silly words, like...
[speaks and stammers]
George Banks: Superca... superca... superca...
Mary Poppins: Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious.
George Banks: Yes, well done! You said it!
Mrs. Banks: [sees the time] Excuse me, POSTS, EVERYONE, PLEASE!
Old Crone: [seeing Jane and Michael running in the alley] Come with me, m'dears! Granny'll 'ide you!
Parrot Umbrella: Awk, that's gratitude for you. Didn't even say goodbye?
Mary Poppins: No, they didn't.
Parrot Umbrella: Look at them! You know, they think more of their father than they do of you!
Mary Poppins: That's as it should be.
Parrot Umbrella: Well, don't you care?
Mary Poppins: Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking.
Parrot Umbrella: Is that so? Well, I'll tell you one thing, Mary Poppins: you don't fool me a bit!
Mary Poppins: Oh, really?
Parrot Umbrella: Yes, really. I know exactly how you feel about these children, and if you think I'm going to keep my mouth shut any longer, I'll...
[she clamps his mouth shut]
Mary Poppins: That will be quite enough of that, thank you.
Mary Poppins: [as Jane and Michael run down the path in the chalk drawing] Don't fall and smudge the drawing!
Constable Jones: [on phone] That's what I said, sir. Go fly a kite!
Constable Jones: Well, no, sir, no. I didn't mean you *personally.*
Mr. Dawes Jr: Ah, there you are, Banks. I want to congratulate you. Capital bit of humor, wooden leg named Smith!
[pauses looks a bit confused]
Mr. Dawes Jr: Or, Jones, whatever it was. Father died laughing!
George Banks: Oh, I'm so sorry, sir!
Mr. Dawes Jr: Oh no, nonsense, nothing to be sorry about! Never seen him happier in his life. He left an opening for a new partner.
[puts a new carnation into Banks' buttonhole]
Mr. Dawes Jr: Congratulations.
George Banks: Oh thank you, sir, thank you very much indeed!
[kisses Mrs. Banks]
[Uncle Albert had been asked if there is a way to get down from being up in the air]
Uncle Albert: There is a way. And frankly, I don't like to think of it, because you have to think of something sad.
Mary Poppins: Then do get on with it, please.
Uncle Albert: Let me see... I have the very thing: Yesterday, when the lady next door answered the door, there was a man there, and the man said to the lady, "I'm terribly sorry, I just ran over your cat."
[Jane and Michael descend from being up in the air]
Jane: Oh, that is sad.
Michael: The poor cat.
Uncle Albert: And the man said, "I'd like to replace your cat." And the lady said, "That's all right with me, but how are you with catching mice?"
[then they all burst out laughing and Jane and Michael re-ascend back to the tea table in the air]
Mary Poppins: [singing] Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down. Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, in the most delightful way.
[Katie Nana is trying to leave]
Katie Nanna: I said my say, and that's all I'll say. I've done with this house forever.
Mrs. Clara Brill: Well, hip-hip-hooray! And don't stumble on the way out, dearie.
Mary Poppins: Never judge things by their appearance... even carpetbags. I'm sure I never do.
Bert: Bert'll take care of you, just like I was your own father. Now who's after you?
Jane: Father is.
Mary Poppins: [watching Bert, Albert, Jane, and Michael laugh together on the ceiling] Why, it's the most disgraceful sight I've ever seen, or my name isn't Mary Poppins.
Bert: Speakin' o' names, I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
Uncle Albert: What's the name of his other leg?
[he, Bert, Jane, and Michael laugh]
Mr. Banks: You see, Michael, you'll be part of Railways through Africa.
Mr. Dawes Sr.: Exactly.
Mr. Banks: Dams across the Nile.
Mr. Dawes Sr.: The ships, tell them about the ships.
Mr. Banks: Fleets of ocean greyhounds.
Mr. Dawes Sr.: More, tell them more!
Mr. Banks: Majestic self-amortizing canals.
Mr. Dawes Sr.: Oh, it fires the imagination!
Mr. Banks: [singing] Plantations of ripening tea all from...
Mr. Dawes Sr.: To be specific...
Mr. Dawes Sr.: [snatching Michael's tuppence away] Welcome to our joyful family of investors!
Mary Poppins: People who get their feet wet must learn to take their medicine.
Lady in the Bank: There's something wrong, the bank won't give someone their money.
Depositor: Well, I'm going to get mine. Come along, young man, every penny!
Mr. Banks: What's all this? What's all this? What's all this? What's all this?
Admiral Boom: Glorious day, Mr. Binnacle! Glorious! No one sleeps this morning. Put in a double charge of powder.
Mr. Binnacle: A double charge? Aye aye sir!
Admiral Boom: Shake things up a bit, what?
Mary Poppins: You *are* the father of Jane and Michael Banks, are you not?
Mary Poppins: I said, you *are* the father of Jane and Michael Banks.
Mr. Banks: Well, really - yes, of course. And you brought your references, I presume; may I see them?
Mary Poppins: Oh, I make it a point never to give references. a very old-fashioned idea, to my mind.
Mr. Banks: Is that so? We'll have to see about that one then, won't we?
Mary Poppins: Now the, the qualifications... item one: a cheery disposition. I am *never* cross. Item two: rosy cheeks... obviously. Item three: play games, all sorts. Well, I'm sure the children'll find my games *extremely* diverting.
Mr. Banks: Now this paper, where did you get it from? I - I thought I tore it up.
Mary Poppins: Excuse me. Item four: you must be kind. I *am* kind, but *extremely* firm.
Mary Poppins: Have you lost something.
Mr. Banks: [banging his head against the fireplace flue] Ah! Yes, you see... I thought that...