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Father Goose (1964) Poster

(1964)

Quotes

Catherine Freneau: [Eckland has sucked the "poison" from Catherine's "snakebite"] Tell me, I would like to know - what did my blood taste like?

Walter Eckland: Delicious. Now come on.

[he tries to take her coconut full of whiskey]

Catherine Freneau: No, no, no, I'm serious. What did it taste like?

Walter Eckland: Well how would I know? I'm not a vampire,

Catherine Freneau: Um, was it salty?

Walter Eckland: Mmm, a little salty, yes.

Catherine Freneau: Too salty?

Walter Eckland: No, it was just right.

Catherine Freneau: Oh, no! You thought it was too salty, I can tell! You didn't like it!

[she seems on the verge of crying]

Walter Eckland: I liked it!

Catherine Freneau: Oh, really?

Walter Eckland: Uh-huh, I liked it!

Catherine Freneau: You're not just saying that?

Walter Eckland: Great blood!

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Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: Mother Goose is requesting a chaplain.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: A chaplain? Good heavens, he's killed her.

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: No, sir. They want to get married.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Married? Goody Two-Shoes and the Filthy Beast?

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Catherine Freneau: Do you have a boat?

Walter Eckland: No. I walked.

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Walter Eckland: [about the Coast Watching Service] We've been friends for a long time. Do you really think you can talk me into it?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: No, I suppose you're right. Stebbings, confiscate all the small craft on this pier.

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: But this is the only one there is, Sir.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Confiscate it.

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: Yes, sir.

Walter Eckland: Frank, you can't do that! I'll go over your head! Who's in charge here?

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: He is!

Walter Eckland: Frank, you can't do that to me! That boat's all I have!

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: You said we've been friends for a long time, Walter. Do you really think you can talk me out of it?

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Walter Eckland: Let me tell you I am not a father figure. I am not a brother figure or an uncle figure or a cousin figure. In fact, the only figure I intend being is a total stranger figure.

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[catching a fish barehanded. A fish swims toward them]

Walter Eckland: [In a hushed voice] Hey, here she comes again.

Catherine Freneau: How do you know it's a "she"?

Walter Eckland: Her mouth is open, now be quiet.

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Walter Eckland: All those miles of open sea and back again a man would need something to keep warm, now, wouldn't he?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: 2 bottles.

Walter Eckland: All of them, Frank.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Three.

Walter Eckland: All of them, Frank.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Five.

Walter Eckland: All of them, Frank.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Got a pencil?

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Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [Speaking of Walter] I believe I've found our nail, Sir. A rusty one I grant you, but they don't come any sharper.

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Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [Telling Walter the code-names to be used on the radio] I'm Big Bad Wolf, Stebbings here is Bo Peep, and you're...

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: Mother Goose, Sir.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: That's it. You're Mother Goose. Now try and remember all that, Walter. It's bloody important.

Walter Eckland: Yeah, bloody.

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Walter Eckland: [after Catherine threw the rifle in the water] No, no, no! Not that! We'd had a use for that!

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Walter Eckland: [after bring the girls back to the island, Mr. Eckland is sitting eating while all the girls watch him] If you're waiting for the big finale, I'm sorry this is all I do.

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Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: We could have transferred George Dickens from the interior if he hadn't gotten himself eaten that way.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: You needn't make him sound such a shirker, Stebbings.

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Catherine Freneau: I'm a... a picture straightener.

Walter Eckland: You're a what?

Catherine Freneau: A picture straightener.

Walter Eckland: Oh.

Catherine Freneau: When I see a picture on a wall that doesn't hang straightly, I straighten it.

Walter Eckland: Oh, you do that.

Catherine Freneau: And I brush my teeth every morning and every night.

Catherine Freneau: And if I don't have a toothbrush...

Catherine Freneau: [Demonstrating] ... I use my finger.

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Catherine Freneau: Where is your boat?

Walter Eckland: [Indicating the dinghy] It's right there lady. If you spit you'd sink it.

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Catherine Freneau: Mr Eckland is a rude, foul-mouthed, drunken, filthy beast

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Catherine Freneau: Look at their clothes.

Walter Eckland: They're my clothes.

Catherine Freneau: But they're filthy.

Walter Eckland: No, they're dirty, I'm filthy.

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Walter Eckland: So far you're shared me out of my clothes, my food and my house. Now, how about sharing some of my things with me.

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Walter Eckland: Great blood!

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Walter Eckland: Frank. Kiss my foot Frank.

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Anne: You stepped on my foot.

Walter Eckland: You put it under mine.

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Catherine Freneau: I have an infuriating lack of talent for doing simple things.

Walter Eckland: You probably don't do them right, that's why.

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Walter Eckland: Lady, you are making a powerful enemy.

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Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: I say, where are you going with those?

Walter Eckland: Do you know who I am?

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: Well, no.

Walter Eckland: We'll let it go this time.

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Walter Eckland: [to the French girls] You two get in the bottom of the boat.

[pause]

Walter Eckland: Get in the bottom of the boat!

Catherine Freneau: They don't understand English.

Walter Eckland: Sure they do.

[puts them in the boat]

Walter Eckland: See?

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Elizabeth Anderson: Mr. Eckland got Jenny to speak.

Walter Eckland: I created a monster. A talking person.

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Catherine Freneau: [Jenny hands Walter a whiskey bottle] Jenny!

Walter Eckland: Why, how strange!

Jenny: What?

Walter Eckland: That you should bring me this.

Jenny: I've done it before.

Walter Eckland: No you haven't.

Jenny: Yes I have.

Walter Eckland: Shut up.

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Commander Frank Houghton RAN: There's a bit of paperwork to fill out, Walter. Who's the Maid of Honor?

Catherine Freneau: Umm, Elizabeth Anderson.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: And the Best Man?

Walter Eckland: Uh, Harry MacGregor.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Harry?

Walter Eckland: Just believe me.

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Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Bride's full name?

Catherine Freneau: Catherine Louise Marie Ernestine Freneau.

Walter Eckland: [Gives Catherine a strange look] Eh!

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Groom's full name?

Walter Eckland: Walter Christopher Eckland.

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Catherine Freneau: How in English do you say "parachute"?

Walter Eckland: Uh... Parachute.

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Walter Eckland: Maybe if you stopped straightening pictures and let men wear their own pants, maybe they'd be able to touch you without asking "permesso!"

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[Walter is about to go do something very dangerous]

Catherine Freneau: Walter! I look awful in black.

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[Eckland has just discovered that there was no snake when Houghton, who believes Catherine is dead, is calling]

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Walter? Are you there, Walter? I have the chaplain, I thought it might be a comfort if he said a few words.

Walter Eckland: Never mind the chaplain, Frank. She's alive. The snake's dead.

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Walter, explain yourself.

[Eckland puts down the microphone]

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Walter? Walter?

[shouting]

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Walter!

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[last lines]

Walter Eckland: I wonder if they serve coconut milk on submarines...

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Walter Eckland: [grabs one of the girls suitcases out of her hand and throws it in the water. Ms. Freneau begins to protest] This isn't the Queen Mary; we don't have room for luggage.

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Catherine Freneau: Mr. Eckland please keep the boat quiet, the girls are extremely frightened.

Walter Eckland: Will you shut up, lady?

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Girl: We're sinking!

Walter Eckland: Well don't just sit there, dammit, start bailing!

Catherine Freneau: Mr. Eckland, your language!

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Walter Eckland: [Jenny, who won't talk, has just given him a bottle of liquor. She doesn't reply when he says "Thank you." He holds up a whistle] See this whistle?

[Jenny nods "yes"]

Walter Eckland: Would you like to have it?"

[She nods "yes" again]

Walter Eckland: OK. Now, all you have to do is repeat three simple words after me. Is that a deal?

[She nods "yes"]

Walter Eckland: Just repeat three words. Alright. Elephant.

Jenny: [Looks from Eckland to the whistle and back. Seems to consider for a moment] Elephant.

Walter Eckland: [He smiles, slightly] Rhinoceros.

Jenny: [More quickly this time] Rhinoceros.

Walter Eckland: Wrong.

Jenny: WHy?

Walter Eckland: No, not "why," "wrong." Wrong is the third word, you lose.

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Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [after explaining the Coast-watching service] It's ary important work, Walter. Damned important. You'd might like to volunteer.

Walter Eckland: Oh, I'd love to, Frank! But, I've just signer on for another watching service: the "Watch Out for Walter Eckland" Service!

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: A great many lives are at stake, Mr. Eckland!

Walter Eckland: Now listen to me, both of you! Now, several years ago, I made peace with the World. Now, if the World isn't bright enough to make peace with ITSELF, it's just going to have to settle things without me!

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Walter Eckland: [after Frank's ship bashes a hole in Walter's boat to get him to go to Matalava] FRANK, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? LOOK AT MY BOAT!

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [on a bullhorn, pleased with himself] Terribly sorry, Walter! Our steering must have jammed! I'm sorry!

Walter Eckland: IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WORK ONE OF THOSE THINGS, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: I am sorry!

Walter Eckland: OH, STOP SAYING THAT! LOOK AT MY BOAT! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Become a Coast Watcher, I expect! Luckily, we put a little surprise ashore! Oh, Walter... we'll stand by until you get safely in!

Walter Eckland: FRANK, I'LL SUE YOU! I'LL SUE! I'LL SUE THE ENTIRE WAR!

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Quite right, Walter! I'll be your witness!

[adding]

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: Oh, and Walter... Thanks for volunteering!

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Walter Eckland: [on the radio on his island] When do I get off?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: I told you, as soon as we find a replacement for you. In the meantime, try to relax. Oh, and I'm very sorry about your boat. I really am.

Walter Eckland: Is Big Bad Wolf *really* sorry? Because if he is, Big Bad Wolf and Little Bo Peep can DO something for Mother Goose. THEY CAN GO...

[Stebbings cuts the radio off before any profanity goes through]

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [to Stebbings] I don't really blame him, do you?

Lieutenant Stebbings RAN: Sir, I don't think we've accomplished anything. I don't think he'll report in. I mean, you can lead a horse to water, but can you make it drink?

Commander Frank Houghton RAN: [calmly] When he gets thirsty, he'll drink, Stebbings. He'll drink.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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