Ensign Pulver (1964)
Sailor: [Ensign Pulver is smuggling liquor aboard in a case marked "Brassieres"] Are bras that heavy, Mister Pulver?
Ens. Frank Pulver: Only when they're full.
LaSueur: [the crew goes wild when liberty is announced] What the hell is happening?
Doc: Metamorphosis! Vegetables are turning into men!
Doc: [Saying a mock prayer as Ens. Pulver goes ashore, hopefully to bring back some bottles of scotch] Oh, Bacchus, God of Alcohol, coordinate Frank Pulver and glue him together for one day, please.
Captain Morton: [Having intercepted Ens. Pulver attempting to smuggle bottles of scotch on board] I want the name of every man that ordered a bottle of that stuff.
Ens. Frank Pulver: Nobody ordered it, sir. It's for me.
Captain Morton: You was gonna' drink all of that yourself?
Ens. Frank Pulver: Slowly.
Captain Morton: This is a *Navy* ship, mister! Throw that dirty liquor overboard!
Captain Morton: I don't want a crew of whining sissies with table manners. I want MEN!
Doc: You've GOT men! That's your problem! If we were in combat it would be different. These men left their homes to FIGHT, but they never got into the war! They're in limbo, Captain, trapped between heaven and hell on a floating 10-cent store!
Captain Morton: You "college" officers make me PUKE!
Captain Morton: [to Doc] The only reason I don't take you by the nap of the neck and throw you overboard, is that I might need a doctor some day!
Doc: [Ens. Pulver has been telling Doc about scaring the captain off the ship] "Scare the captain off this ship"! Don't dream. Don't dream!
Ens. Frank Pulver: Stop talking like somebody's father! What about you? You don't even dream!
Doc: Touché, Frank. I'm a vegetable. Eggplants don't dream, do they?
Doc: [mimicking a child's voice] And what did you do in the Great War, daddy?
Doc: [normal voice] I sat on a ship, paralyzed, and watched men rot.
Doc: I'm kaput. But you've got a potential. A destructive nature. And what do you do with it? Shoot flies with a piece of lead foil!
Ens. Frank Pulver: A naval officer has to be an expert at ballistics.
Ens. Frank Pulver: You mean after everything I've told you, you think I *could* be a doctor?
Scotty: By rights, you should be a good one. You have more people to prove yourself to than anyone I ever heard of. You should cash in on that. My family's in business. They say the big trick is to turn liabilities into assets.