Memorable quotes for
Who's Minding the Store? (1963) More at IMDbPro »

[repeated line]
Norman Phiffier: I believe a man has gotta be king in his own ranch-type-style tract house.
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Barbara Tuttle: I finally found someone who loves me for me, not that I'm the Tuttle heiress, but me, the elevator girl.
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TV Announcer: And now some scenes from next week's show, The Case of the Missing Kidney.
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Mr. Quimby: Quimby here.
Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: You're out of breath, Quimby.
Mr. Quimby: Yes, I, ah
[clears throat]
Mr. Quimby: working late, long day.
Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: Don't put me on, Quimby. You've had at least three scotches and you're winded from chasing your pretty secretary. But don't worry, Quimby, I'll ok her next raise.
Mr. Quimby: I've always considered you, not only my boss, but a dandy friend, Mrs. Tuttle.
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Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: I want you to give this nut every impossible, dirty job there is.
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Mr. Quimby: How do you suppose I got to be the general manager of this great store? How?
Norman Phiffier: How? How?
Mr. Quimby: I'll tell you! I'll tell you!
Norman Phiffier: Go ahead! Go ahead!
Mr. Quimby: I will! I will!
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[at the golf practice machine]
Norman Phiffier: Here's your driver, Mr. President.
Mr. John P. Tuttle: Thank you, Jackie.
Norman Phiffier: You... oh, that was good.
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Norman Phiffier: Something you women would like? Ah, that is, um, could I show you something in shoes?
Lady wrestler: My feet, I hope.
Norman Phiffier: [Fake laughs] Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, that is good. Yes, the size and style?
Lady wrestler: Black Spring-O-Lators, size three.
Norman Phiffier: The...
[pause]
Norman Phiffier: size... three?
Lady wrestler: Three!
Norman Phiffier: SIZE three?
Lady wrestler: Something the matter with your hearing aid?
Norman Phiffier: Well, no, I could turn it up.
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Shirley Lott: Your wife is on the phone.
Mr. Quimby: Hang up!
Shirley Lott: Yes, sir.
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Norman Phiffier: What are you, crazy, lady?
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Mr. Quimby: Forgive me for saying this, but this boy has character, and I know what character is! I remember when I had it!
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Mr. John P. Tuttle: Hey you! I'm leaving *your* house!
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Mr. Quimby: That baboon of a boy has just about wrecked the good name of Tuttle.
Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: I thought you said he had character.
Mr. Quimby: But there's no place in business for a man of character. His sincerity could ruin the world!
Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: Naturally, that's why we, the insincere, must be in charge.
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Roberts: Mr. Phiffier has worked as a delivery boy at Macy's, theater usher at the New York Paramount, caddy at the Lodgemont Country Club, a TV repairman in the Bronx, and Mr. Phiffier also attempted to become a mailman but failed the test.
Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: How can anyone fail becoming a mailman?
Roberts: Sloping shoulders. The bag kept slipping off.
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Mrs. Phoebe Tuttle: Barbara is NOT doing fine. Barbara is in love with an imbecile.
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Mr. Quimby: And you, too, will do good work, but first you must get the FEEL of this great store.
Norman Phiffier: Oh, I'll have no trouble with that. I have very sensitive fingertips.
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Mr. Quimby: So, you agree to start your great climb to success, your climb to the very top?
Norman Phiffier: I'm ready to climb!
Mr. Quimby: By starting at the very bottom?
Norman Phiffier: Right down below the depths of the bottom, deep, lowest place where I am, I'll start.
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Norman Phiffier: Well, your secretary isn't here so I thought I'd barge right in?
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[Trying to slip a small, open-toe shoe onto a large foot, Norman searches for a leading toe]
Norman Phiffier: If I could just grab one of these, maybe the others'll follow.
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Lady wrestler: Are you making improper advances to me?
Norman Phiffier: My back is to ya, lady. My back is to ya.
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Mr. Quimby: By some chance, Mr. Phiffier, could you be stealing a TV set?
Norman Phiffier: Me, stealing, Mr. Quimby? Oh, I'd never steal anything.
Mr. Quimby: If I recollect correctly, Mr. Phiffier, you're supposed to be working in the mattress department today.
Norman Phiffier: Oh, yeah, I AM working in the mattress department today.
Mr. Quimby: Then what are you doing here?
Norman Phiffier: Oh, well, I was just really trying to, uh, satisfy a charge customer, you see, sir. Uh, buh, a lady that wanted to see, on a mattress there, just, uh, just how good the TV set was, so I borrowed two ladders, and I put a surfboard on top of two ladders that I borrowed from the Hawaiian hooky hula department. I just wanted to satisfy a charge customer so I could be the greatest salesman just like you - you, who are my idol, Mr. Quimby. If I ever turn out to be as good as you, I shall really live and breathe the air of kings. Oh, if I could ever be like you, oh boy, there'd never be Death of a Salesman with me. I'd live on, if I ever... Mmm.
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Barbara Tuttle: You can give me a wedding present if you'll please, please just disinherit me.
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Norman Phiffier: I see you on the television all the time. You look the same in person.
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Mr. John P. Tuttle: Boy, I've got a house so big I get lost going to the bathroom.
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Hazel, a Dowager: My carpets are three inches thick, and...
Norman Phiffier: Three inches thick! Huh. You better not ever invite Mickey Rooney over. You'll never be able to find him.
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