| Credited cast: | |||
| Sonny Chiba | ... |
Tachibana - Scientist /
Space Chief
(as Shinichi Chiba)
|
|
|
|
Kappei Matsumoto | ... | |
|
|
Ryuko Mizukami | ... | |
| Rest of cast listed alphabetically: | |||
|
|
Harold Conway | ... |
Washington Broadcast Station Chief
|
|
|
Shinjiro Ebara | ... |
Yanigada - Scientist
|
|
|
Hidemichi Ishikawa | ... |
Yoshimoto Hiroshi
|
|
|
Seiichirô Kameishi | ... |
Yamagata Yukichi
|
|
|
Takashi Kanda | ... |
Defence Chief Takita
|
|
|
Genji Kawai | ... |
Morie
|
|
|
Mitsue Komiya | ... |
Saito - Scientist
|
|
|
Junji Masuda | ... |
Tamiya Hiroshi
|
|
|
Masazumi Okabe | ... |
Railway worker
|
|
|
Kôsaku Okano | ... |
Reporter
|
|
|
Koji Sahara | ... | |
|
|
Shôken Sawa | ... |
Land Commander Inukai
|
(English version) Slow-moving aliens from the planet Neptune, wearing nosecone-shaped space helmets, attempt to invade Earth in a winged rocketship. But they are thwarted by a mysterious superhero called Space Chief who flies around in a rocket-propelled car. Written by Leo L. Schwab <ewhac@best.com>
Aliens in bullet-head helmets, young boys running around in short shorts, army soldiers made up like Ru-Paul, Sonny Chiba (!) at his most un-heroic and Thomas the Tank Engine as the alien spaceship - is this any way to make a sci-fi movie?
It is if you've made this one. "Uchu Kaisoku-sen" (or "Invasion of the Neptune Men", as I know it) is a movie I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, it has a plot that feels like they left a few pages out of the script and replaced it with LOTS of stock footage. On the other hand, this is also a movie that will leave you rolling in the aisles (or your living room floor), gasping for breath at the stupid (dubbed) dialogue, fakey "special" FX, small disc ships that look like evil crab cakes and large groups of Japanese people running around all over the place - with no Godzilla in sight.
And that Space Chef - excuse me, Space CHIEF - what kind of a mook traipses around in white leotards, cape and a helmet with a corrective sun visor, trying to subdue the bad guys with karate kicks and chops that my two year-old daughter could out-maneuver with ease? To think that this was Sonny Chiba in that spandex is a head-scratcher; we all gotta start somewhere, I suppose.
You can watch this either way: alone or with Mike and the robots. Doesn't matter 'cause you'll get entertainment value either way. Derisive laughter is derisive laughter, no matter how you take it. Though I still cackle when I think of how the MST3K crew reacted when they blew up the Hitler building ("WHAT?!!") or Servo's song dedicated to the stock footage ("da da da-da da da...EAT IT, MOVIE!!!).
Anyway, you watch a movie like this on a Saturday afternoon - after the cartoons and before the pro-bowler's tour. Perfect way to waste a couple of hours: laughing hysterically.
Seven stars (yeah, that's right - SEVEN) for "Uchu Kaisoku-sen". Ten stars, as always, for the MST3K version.
And, as always, "NE C'EST PAS"!