Pocketful of Miracles (1961)
Junior: She's like a cockroach what turned into a butterfly!
Joy Boy: What's with her?
Dave the Dude: Aah, she just wants a bunch of kids.
Joy Boy: Kids? Aw, they're mean when they get on that kick.
Dave the Dude: [handing butler a large sum of money] Ok Hutch, this oughtta take care of the helps for a while, you split it up amongst them...
Dave the Dude: They know enough to keep their mouth shut?...
Butler: And their ears, yes sir...
Dave the Dude: You told them what happens if they didn't...
Butler: Oh yes
[forming a gun with his fingers imitating the sound of a machine gun]
Butler: da da da da da da da da...
Dave the Dude: [putting a hand out to stop the 'gun'] Don't... don't do that...
Spanish Consul: Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to be proven an imbecile.
Joy Boy: I ain't gonna marry her! An' y'know why? 'Cause my wife don't like it when I go around marryin' people! She's funny that way!
Joy Boy: [rounding up Darcey's goons] Alright we'll tie them up and lock them in the bathroom and when he gets his apple, we'll be back to pick ya up!
Junior: [pushing the goons] Move!
Dave the Dude: Oh Wait a minute, lock them in the closet, Joy Boy. The maid just waxed the bathroom floor!
Dave the Dude: Hey Joy Boy, how is your Spanish?
Joy Boy: As good as my French and they both stink!
Dave the Dude: Hey Junior, did you learn anything from Spanish Lena?
Junior: Spanish Lena was a Hungarian...
Dave the Dude: Where am I gonna find her a husband, huh? In Macy's basement?
Junior: They don't sell them there, boss.
Queenie Martin: [Queenie walks with her make-up artists] Alright, gang, here is your challenge. Com'on Annie, stand up and meet your makers.
[Annie stands up]
Queenie Martin: Now this got to be a complete overhaul, kids, from top to bottom.
Joy Boy: Don't forget a new set of kidneys...
Queenie Martin: Com'on Annie, lets go.
[leading Annie to the bedroom]
Queenie Martin: Com'on wizards, let's wiz!
Junior: [Junior shaking his head] My old lady always say you cannot make a pig's ear out of an old sow.
Pierre: Monsieur, your old lady was not Pierre! Hum!
Dave the Dude: [seeing the Butler packed and sneaking out of his room] Now where do you think you're goin?
Butler: Well I... I'm fleeting from Armageddon, sir. With my cardiac condition, I... I just cannot take unhappy endings. So I'm off to join Mr. Kent in Havana, sir.
Dave the Dude: With two broken legs?
Butler: My legs, sir, oh they're quite... Oh. OHHH! Very cleverly put, sir, yes... thank you, sir... Not at all...
[hurries back into his room]