Murder She Said (1961)
Ackenthorpe: There is one thing I cannot tolerate, and that is impertinence.
Miss Marple: Well, we should get on admirably. Neither can I!
Ackenthorpe: Cod's as good as lobster any day, and much cheaper.
Miss Marple: Well, that depends on whether or not one has a palate unsullied by cheap opiates.
Ackenthorpe: If you mean what I think you mean, I'll have you know this cheroot cost two shillings!
Miss Marple: Yes. Quite.
Ackenthorpe: Don't you think I've seen a corpse before? Be one myself soon!
Hillman: Don't think I won't tell him, neither.
Alexander: Despite the double negatives, I'm sure you will.
Ackenthorpe: If you don't shut those windows you'll be fired.
Miss Marple: In that case I shall require four weeks' wages in lieu of notice.
Ackenthorpe: Get out of my sight, woman!
Miss Marple: With pleasure!
Alexander: You know, it isn't just that you don't look like Jayne Mansfield. You're not *my* idea of a maid, either.
Miss Marple: Well, quite honestly, I don't think *you're* everybody's idea of a boy.
Dr. Quimper: You're going to live to be a hundred in spite of anything I can do.
Alexander: I thought discretion the better part of valor, Jane.
Craddock: We have come to the conclusion that what you saw on the train was... uh... well, a man and a woman...
Miss Marple: Yes, as I said.
Craddock: I mean, perhaps they were honeymooners.
Miss Marple: I may be what is termed a spinster, but I do know the difference between horseplay and murder.
Craddock: Have they got any other servants?
Miss Marple: Yes they have, Inspector.
Craddock: Good Lord! You!
Miss Marple: Yes. Dotty old me.
Alexander: Nostalgia, you know. A failing of the old, I suppose.
Cedric Ackenthorpe: Still getting shot with revitalizers, Father?
Ackenthorpe: I'd take anything to outlive you lot, and keep my property from your thieving hands.
Ackenthorpe: I live here because I want to, not because I can afford it.
Miss Marple: I'm afraid I never can resist my own pie, Inspector. Anybody else's, of course.
Ackenthorpe: I hope it'll be a long time before I have to put up with the whole pack of them again.
Miss Marple: Not a very nice way to talk about one's family.
Ackenthorpe: Not a very nice family.
Craddock: Withholding information from the police is a very serious matter.
Miss Marple: Oh, I know, Inspector, and I'm most awfully sorry. Will you take tea?
Albert Ackenthorpe: I've just been thinking. If that woman was foreign...
Cedric Ackenthorpe: You should think of women more often, Albert. It might bring about some interesting changes in you.
Albert Ackenthorpe: I know it's laughable...
Cedric Ackenthorpe: I agree.
Ackenthorpe: Well, I've decided to marry you.
Miss Marple: Well, I'm honored, of course.
Ackenthorpe: Of course you are, but come to the point.
Miss Marple: I'm afraid that cannot be.
Miss Marple: Well, if ever I do embark on such a venture, there is someone else.
Ackenthorpe: Nonsense! I don't believe it. Who on earth would have you?
Miss Marple: [Quimper's about to inject her with poison] One more murder may be one too many.
Dr. Quimper: This won't be a murder, the death certificate I'll write up will say heart failure.
Miss Marple: I'm quite sure you mean well, Inspector, but if you imagine that I'm going to sit back and let everyone regard me as a dotty old maid, you're very much mistaken.
Miss Marple: I'm Jane from Mrs. Binster's Employment Agency - the new maid!
Mrs. Kidder: [laconically] Well, you look old enough to know better. Come in.