The Last Time I Saw Archie (1961)
MSgt. Stanley Erlenheim: Well... it ain't been over two weeks ago since I read this article in some magazine.
Duty Sgt. Malcolm Greenbriar: What was this article on?
Duty Sgt. Malcolm Greenbriar: Intelligence?
MSgt. Stanley Erlenheim: And this article tells how these guys in G2, no matter what is their actual rank, can go around posin' as anything they want. A private in G2 can put on a general's uniform, or a general in G2 can put on a private's uniform, or anything in between.
Duty Sgt. Malcolm Greenbriar: Which do you think it is in this case?
MSgt. Stanley Erlenheim: Well... if a man is a private and he has the chance to be anything he wants, would you suppose he would go right on pretending to be a private?
Duty Sgt. Malcolm Greenbriar: Nosiree, boy. 'Cause any ordinary dogface knows what they can expect out of life... as an ordinary dogface... Nothin'! Stanley, Stanley, for the first time, I think I see what you mean. If they ain't privates masquerading as privates, then they gotta be something else masquerading as privates!
MSgt. Stanley Erlenheim: Would our colonel be so free with his car and women unless he's ranked and feels that he ain't got no choice except to grin and shut up?
Duty Sgt. Malcolm Greenbriar: Private Archie Hall is a general in G2!
Archie Hall: ...The point I'm trying to make is about the handicap I'm under in my relation to girls.
Cindy Hamilton: What handicap?
Archie Hall: My natural honesty, my basic decency, my over-developed sense of what is right and what's wrong.
Cindy Hamilton: I could see where those things would be a handicap. I mean, even if you can't lie to a girl... even just a little?
Archie Hall: ...What were we talking about?
Cindy Hamilton: Will I see you tomorrow?
Archie Hall: Well, of course, like any soldier, I have my duties to perform.
Cindy Hamilton: Shall I pick you up here or in town?
Archie Hall: Here, if you don't mind. That bus ride into town is strictly for the rookies.
William 'Bill' Bowers: And that was when the Vigaro hit the Mixmaster.
William 'Bill' Bowers: No luck huh?
Archie Hall: Oh this goes way, way beyond luck, buddy. I think we may have finally reached the point where we're operating in the realm of the supernatural.
Pvt. Russell Drexler: Have you seen the newsreel shots of those English glider invasions? The whole idea seems to be to try and crash through as many fences as you can before you burst into flames.
Pvt. Russell Drexler: And maybe you haven't given any thought to how much you are a sitting duck in one of those things.
Archie Hall: Aw, now, what is a sitting duck but a duck that just happens to be sitting?
Pvt. Sam Beacham: [Sarcastically] "What is a DEAD duck but a duck that just happens to be DEAD?"
Archie Hall: Were you as shocked as I was about the fuss all those guys put up about us getting passes?
William 'Bill' Bowers: It wasn't that so much as it was that we were the only two in our barracks not on that KP list. Several of them were muttering something about "those two no-good duty sergeant-bribing gold-bricks who better not show their faces around there again."
Archie Hall: Well, what makes them think it's such a treat for US to show THEM our faces?
Archie Hall: [Opening a door in her face] Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Willoughby. Did I hurt you?
Miss Willoughby: ...Yes, you did.
Peggy Kramer: Why didn't you call Cindy, Arch? You weren't too nice to her this afternoon.
Archie Hall: That's funny; I didn't think she was being very nice to me.
Peggy Kramer: C'mon, now. She's been out with you every night for weeks, and just because she had something she had to do one night...
William 'Bill' Bowers: WHAT did she have to do?
Peggy Kramer: [Oriental music softly in the background] She had to meet with some other Japanese spies to complete their plans for blowing up the Grand Canyon, Bill.