Memorable quotes for
The AbsentMinded Professor (1961) More at IMDbPro »

Prof. Ned Brainard: Let's see, flying rubber... Flubber!
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Prof. Ned Brainard: Corners beautifully, doesn't it?
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Prof. Ned Brainard: I'm an American! See it? My credit cards!
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First Referee: There's nothing in the rule book that says one team can't jump higher than the other.
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Biff Hawk: Oh, it's just Neddy the Nut out flying his old Model T.
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Prof. Ned Brainard: Substance X, we dub thee... Flubber!
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Prof. Ned Brainard: Mr. Hawk, let me get this straight. You want me to turn my discovery over to you so you can blackmail our government?
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[the fire crew has arrived to rescue Alonzo Hawk, who is now bouncing out of control]
Fire Chief: [shouting through megaphone] Mr. Hawk! This is the Fire Chief speaking! We'll have everything under control in just a moment. Now Mr. Hawk, try to relax.
Alonzo P. Hawk: Relax? How can I relax, you fat-head?
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[the fire crew's net had been accidentally broken by Alonzo Hawk during their attempt to rescue him]
Fireman: I told you we needed a new one.
Fire Chief: You told me? What do you think I've been telling the town council? How am I supposed to buy a new net without an appropriation?
Fireman: Well, don't get hot. I only mentioned it.
Fire Chief: Well, you just keep the kinks out of the fire hose. That's all I want from you. I'm the Chief!
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[Prof. Brainard has repeatedly slammed his Flubberized Model T down on Prof. Ashton's car roof while in motion, causing to go out of control and crash into a police car]
Prof. Shelby Ashton: [as he and the two officers get out of their crashed cars] Officer! Help me! It's after me! Help me!
Officer Hanson: I do hope that you will excuse my appearance, but I was just having a cup of *boiling hot coffee*.
Prof. Shelby Ashton: But it's after me!
Officer Hanson: What's after you?
Prof. Shelby Ashton: I don't know, some kind of a... thing!
Officer Hanson: A thing? Can you describe it?
Prof. Shelby Ashton: I don't know. I didn't see it. But it flies. And it made a noise, like, uh, "Aaa-OOO-gah! Aaa-OOO-gah!" And then it banged down on the top of my car! BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! And when I looked, there wasn't anything there!
Officer Hanson: Oh, that kind of a thing.
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