Because their partnership has lasted so long, the secret service choose Toody and Muldoon to drive the president to the U.N. Unfortunately, Muldoon is incapacitated by the stress of ferrying his hero, Kennedy.
After overhearing the Captain rehearsing a play in his office, the boys think he's a kleptomaniac! They "cover" for him by re-stealing all his Xmas presents. Can they make things right by the end of Christmas Eve?
A gang buys the cursed eatery next to the bank to drill through the common wall into the vault -- but the boys of the 53rd stop by to see how they're doing, and help them establish a luncheonette instead.
Benny's up for parole yet again, and the boys are sure he's going straight now. They set him up w/a candy store, and when he gets "in trouble" and tries mightily to get back in jail, the 53rd won't hear of it.
The boys of the 53rd Precinct attempt to help rehabilitate chronically drunk Charlie by finding him a job where he won't be tempted to drink, but the officers'regular visits to check up on Charlie have an unnerving effect on his teetotalist coworkers. A Larry Storch tour de force!
When a septuagenarian delicatessen owner reports he will be marrying Joan Crawford, the boys of the 53rd are sent out to bust the phony matrimonial service that promises to pair its clients with Hollywood movie stars.
Lucille is upset over turning 40, so Gunther decides to surprise her by buying her a wig for a birthday gift, a deceptively simple endeavor fraught with misunderstanding and melodrama when nosy Sylvia Schnauser stumbles upon the scheme.
At the begging and pleading of a girl (played by Sheri Lewis) at a local hair dresser parlor, Toody and Muldoon enlist the help of champion boxer, Sugar Ray Robinson (played by himself), in a convoluted and comical scheme to discourage a local male hair dresser at the same parlor from continuing his amateur boxing career.