Quotes

Natasha Fatale: Boris, is Moose you said you killed in previous episode?

Boris Badenov: Look, it's his show. If he wants to be hard to kill, let him.

Boris: [trying to trick Rocky and Bullwinkle] I am part of one of the biggest advertising company's in the country. Dancer, Prancer, Blitzen, and Fink.

Bullwinkle: Yeah, I have heard of those first three fellows, but who is Fink?

Boris: I am Fink.

Natasha: You can say that again, dahling.

Rocky: Bullwinkle, it says here that for you to inherit the fortune, you have to spend the weekend in the ancestral home, Abominable Manor.

Bullwinkle: That's no problem. I've been living in an abominable manner all my life.

Natasha: Boris, how are we going to steal car from moose and squirrel?

Boris: Easy, we are going into the used car business.

Natasha: On purpose?

[repeated line]

Rocket J. Squirrel: And now, here to tell you everything about anything is Mr. Know-It-All.

Boris Badenov: You busy-bodies have busied your last body.

[repeated lines]

Rocky: And now...

Bullwinkle: Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat.

Old woman: I'm not really a wicked fairy. I'm just wicked.

The Announcer: Well, you're just in time for what might be a very unhappy ending.

[repeated line]

Rocky: Hokey smoke.

Rocky: And now, here's something we hope you'll really like.

Bullwinkle: [explaining the components of a stereo system] This is the amplifier, which amplifies the sound. And this is the preamplifier, which, of course, amplifies the pree.

Boris Badenov: Phooey! Foiled again!

Natasha Fatale: Don't you mean, "Curses! Foiled again!"?

Boris Badenov: Please, Natasha. This is kiddie show.

Boris Badenov: Ah, it good to be back on campus.

Natasha Fatale: Boris, you went to college? Penn State?

Boris Badenov: No, state pen.

Bullwinkle: Today's lesson is how to be a lion tamer and pick up a little scratch... on the side... of your head.

Rocky: It's Bullwinkle!

Captain Peter "Wrongway" Peachfuzz: Or a figment of somebody's imagination.

Rocky: Figure of who's imagination?

Bullwinkle: Who you calling a Fig Newton?

Bullwinkle: Got the wrong script from the teleprompter. As you know this is really the Humphley/Brinley report. No no. The Bullwinkle Show. And I am your moose-ster of ceremonies for the next half-hour: Bullwinkle his-self. As if you couldn't tell. I mean what other show has a host who sings, dances, recites poetry and has antlers? Well, on this network anyway...

[an incident causes all the main characters to become lost at sea. There is nobody left on the screen]

Fish #1: There's something you don't see every day.

Fish #2: What's that?

Fish #1: A TV show where all they show you is a picture of rocks.

Fish #2: Well, c'mon. It *is* called "The Rocky Show".

Bullwinkle: I'd like to apply for a job as an usher?

Boris: What experience have you had?

Bullwinkle: I've been in the dark for most of my life.

Rocky: Bullwinkle, did you forget the plot again?

Bullwinkle: In a word, you said it.

Rocky: That's three words.

Bullwinkle: I'm a heavy tipper.

[repeated line]

Bullwinkle: Jumping G. Horsefat!

["Bullwinkle's Corner" does "Tom, Tom the Piper's Son" as a "Dragnet" spoof. Bullwinkle, as Tom, is arrested for stealing a pig. At the police station, he is grilled under a hot light by two police detectives who speak in quick "Dragnet"-style dialogue]

Police Officer #1: D'you know it's a felony to pack a pig over a state line?

Police Officer #2: Pig-napping!

Bullwinkle: But, it's a pig in a poem!

Police Officer #1: Oh, a pig in a poke, huh?

Bullwinkle: Not "poke." "Poem." Pig in a poem!

Police Officer #2: Pig poem?

Bullwinkle: [Measuring with his hands] Not so pig, just about...

Police Officer #1: You makin' fun of the way we talk?

Bullwinkle: [Frustrated] No, but it's *catchin'!*

Police Officer #2: [Writing on a notepad] Name?

Bullwinkle: I'm Tom, Tom the Piper's Son!

Police Officer #1: [Holds up the pig] All right, Piper's Son. What were you gonna do with the pig?

Bullwinkle: Well, the poem says, "The pig was eat." But...

Police Officer #2: Gonna eat it, huh?

Police Officer #1: On a platter?

Police Officer #2: Apple in it's mouth, like that?

Bullwinkle: [angry] Certainly not!

Police Officer #1: All right, Piper's Son, you can go. But don't leave town.

Bullwinkle: Thanks! Can I have my pig back?

Police Officer #2: No. Evidence.

Bullwinkle: [Moves toward the door] Darn!

Police Officer #1: One more thing, Piper's Son.

Bullwinkle: What's that?

Police Officer #1: [Holds up the pig, smiling] You got an apple on you?

[Bullwinkle looks dizzy. The "Dragnet" theme plays: 'Dum de dum dum!']