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Rik Van Nutter,
After the Trojan War, Glauco is the strongest man amongst the Greeks. His friend Pirro meets two men who offer him a large sum of money to persuade Glauco to sail towards unexplored shores. Pirro accepts the proposal and convinces Glauco with a trick: he hits him on his head. The ship lands at a strange place where Pirro and the other men aboard are drugged and find themselves in the hands of the Amazons. Only Glauco escapes, saved from the Egyptian inventor Sofo and he falls in love with Antiope. Between loves and duels, conspiracies and ruses, the pirates will bring together Amazons and Greeks. Written by
Baldinotto da Pistoia
Italian censorship visa # 32696 delivered on 31-8-1960. See more »
[Deciding on which male captive she wants]
And you, Shorty?
He's a puny runt. how'd he get here?
I'm the god's gift to the women of Southern Greece.
[In an anachronistic American Southern accent]
Let's be off, my babes! Y'all my women!
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COLOSSUS AND THE AMAZON QUEEN is one of those painful Italian attempts at comedy, made during a time when Bob Hope/Bing Crosby films were the height of fashion, slapstick was considered the pinnacle of humour and sexism was...well, everywhere. While I really wanted to like this movie, I couldn't, and one of the reasons was the absolutely awful American dubbing that makes the whole film irritating (at one point, one of the men refers to the fact that he's a Greek before speaking in a Southern drawl!). It doesn't help that this film has no plot after the first fifteen minutes. A bunch of guys are taken to a remote island where they become the slaves of a female warrior society. Some escape and recaptured, others are put to work mining. There's time for romance, a few fights and lots of the so-called 'comedy'. If seeing somebody trip over on their face is your idea of a belly-laugh then by all means check this out.
I half-wondered whether they'd dubbed a serious film into a comedy but the silly acting from the entire cast rules this out. Aside from Rod Taylor and Ed Fury, the two leads, the male cast members are frankly embarrassing. Fury, known for his appearance in the Ursus films, is a stereotypical muscleman, a nice-but-dim hulk who picks up pillars and does strongman stuff every now and then. Taylor supplies more of the comic relief, but this is a huge comedown from the guy who was so great in THE TIME MACHINE. The female cast, aside from Gianna Maria Canale and Dorian Gray, aren't great actresses but they're certainly easy on the eye, so if watching plenty of beautiful women in skin-tight costumes sounds good, then go for it. One thing that made me sad was the realisation that by Hollywood standards of today, all these women would be classed as 'fat' because of their curves. Bring back the old days! I'll admit that the film held my attention initially; the direction isn't as bad as some I've seen. There are some good ingredients in the plot, like the bear fight scene (watch the huge, hulking chained bear transform into a skinny buy in a bear suit!), but other moments, like the pirates vaulting over the castle walls, are ludicrous. The film is also packed with historical inaccuracies; watch as the women joust together (a medieval sport!). All said and done, COLOSSUS AND THE AMAZON QUEEN is definitely a 'bad' film, there's no denying it. Only suckers for cheesy B-movie will get a kick out of the antics on display here.
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