This is a movie you can come up with a number of alternate titles, including "Welcome to Island Anthrax!" "Did you say she was going to be the bride of the sea -gull?-" and "Man, you worship one pig-ugly god!"
As you will surmise from the other reviews here, sailor Eddie Dew gets shipwrecked on an island which unfortunately has no listing on Expedia. Supposedly the all-female inhabitants are Polynesian, but both their skin color, figures and hair styles will make you think of early '60s co-ed cuties from someplace like USC - which indeed, the "actresses" probably were.
Almost immediately one of the girls show him to "his" hut (and he didn't even have to make reservations!). When the queen tells him that there is going to a festival tonight I am thinking: this guy's luck just doesn't quit.
However, the purpose of the festival seems to be to get their guest drunk, so they can hog tie him and prep him for execution the next night. Bummer. But what's this? Five other guys, apparently from the Negroes in Diapers Tribe (there's no other way to describe them), are paddling this way. The populace is terrified, so the queen lets prospective sacrificee Nani Maka cut Eddie down so he can grab his .38 and, in a bit of John Wayne marksmanship, drop all five at thirty paces without having to use the 'spare' bullet. He's a hero, and gets to have the run of the women there with the exception of the aforementioned Nani. Most guys would be content with that, but Eddie? Nooooo! So the Sea Gull - er, Sea God, is going to be angry. You have to wonder, why is it so many gods don't do -anything- except get angry?
One also wonders about these girls; if they didn't like Eddie because he was white, and don't like these black guys either, well who do they deign to couple with?
A lot of the reviews have laid into the girl who plays the queen, Trine Hovelsrud, some of whom didn't think much of her looks. Okay, she reads her lines off a cue card in a monotone, but with a name like that English was probably not her first language. And I disagree about her looks. She had a pretty Queen Next Door face, an appealing bob (there had to be a hair salon somewhere that we don't see) and the best legs on the island.
This, and "Fiend of Dope Island," make a peerless double bill for late Saturday night trash viewing and fodder for your internal Crow T. Robot. Rent them.
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