The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)
Burson Fouch: Besides, I've got to get home. My wife's making gardenias for dinner.
Leonora Clyde: Speak for yourself, John.
[Seymour snaps out of his trance]
Seymour Krelboin: My name is Seymour.
Leonora Clyde: [mockingly] My name is Seymour!
Seymour Krelboin: That's my name, too!
Sgt. Joe Fink: [voice-over] Now we were on the case. Officer Frank Stoolie and me. My name is Fink. Sergeant Joe Fink. I'm a Fink.
Gravis Mushnik: Oh, here are your carnations. Wait, I'll wrap them for you.
Burson Fouch: No, that's all right, I'll eat 'em here.
Burson Fouch: My name is Burson Fouch.
Gravis Mushnik: Excellent. I am Gravis Mushnik.
Burson Fouch: Oh, that's a good one.
Gravis Mushnik: All right, explain me more.
Burson Fouch: Well, I remember one place that had a whole wall covered with poison ivy. Now, people came from miles around to look at that wall and they stayed to buy.
Gravis Mushnik: The owner got rich?
Burson Fouch: No, he scratched himself to death in an insane asylum.
[Seymour walks into the shop holding a bag with Dr. Farb's corpse in it]
Audrey Jr.: Feed me!
Seymour Krelboin: Aw, take it easy, Dracula. What do you think I'm carrying here, my dirty laundry?
Wilbur Force: [reading an article from "Pain" magazine in the waiting room of the dentist; giggling] The patient came to me with a large hole in his abdomen, caused by a fire poker used on him by his wife. He almost bled to death and gangrene had set in. I didn't give him much of a chance. There were other complications. The man had cancer, tuberculosis, leprosy, and a touch of the grippe. I decided to operate.
[Seymour is impersonating Dr. Farb to a new patient]
Wilbur Force: My name is Wilbur Force.
Seymour Krelboin: Wilbur Force what?
Wilbur Force: Just Wilbur Force. My first name is Wilbur, my last name is Force. I don't have a middle name.
Seymour Krelboin: Well, do you have an appointment, maybe?
Wilbur Force: No, but you were very highly recommended to me by one of your patients, a Mrs. S. Shiva. I do a lot of undertaking for her relatives.
Seymour Krelboin: Well, as you can see I have a customer now. And I'm all booked up for the rest of the day, so you'll have to come back tomorrow.
Wilbur Force: Oh, I couldn't do that. I have three or four abscesses, I touch of pyorrhea, nine or ten cavities, I lost my pivot tooth, and I'm in terrible pain!
Seymour Krelboin: Well I can't help you today.
Wilbur Force: Oh, that's all right. I'll just wait outside.
Audry Fulquard: Don't worry, you're gonna be another Luther Glendale.
Seymour Krelboin: Pasadena.
Audry Fulquard: Burbank.
Burson Fouch: Good night. And I'll see you tomorrow. I'm crazy about kosher flowers.
sign in flower shop: Lots Plants Cheap
Seymour Krelboin: Don't waste your pity on me, Audrey. I'm not worth it.
Audry Fulquard: Who says you're not?
Seymour Krelboin: Everybody.
Audry Fulquard: Yeah, I know.
[shouting at Seymour, who has been singing off-camera]
Gravis Mushnik: Shut up from the back!
Seymour Krelboin: You mean I'm fired?
Gravis Mushnik: No, I'm electing you President of the United States! *Yes*, you are fired!
Gravis Mushnik: Now that is what I call a salad. What do you call that salad?
Audry Fulquard: Caesarean.
[a patient has just ran out of Farb's office screaming]
Dr. Phoebus Farb: Seymour, Seymour, got a bad tooth, huh?
Seymour Krelboin: [frightened; turns around to leave] No, I thought this was the men's room.
Dr. Phoebus Farb: Seymour, come back here, you bad dog, you, get in there!
[Farb grabs Seymour and pushes him into his office]
Seymour Krelboin: I didn't mean it.
Gravis Mushnik: You didn't mean it. You never mean it. You didn't mean it the time when you put up the bouquet with the 'get well' card in the funeral parlor, and sent the black lilies to the old lady in the hospital, you didn't mean it. But this time, I, Gravis Mushnik, mean it!
Burson Fouch: [to Seymour] He means it.
Gravis Mushnik: Bring me whisky, rum, wine, gin, bourbon...
Gravis Mushnik: ...scotch, rye, tequila, sake, Manischewitz...
Waitress: Did you bring the money?
Gravis Mushnik: Don't work me with the money. I've got to get drunk, now!
Mrs. Siddie Shiva: Oh! Such a thing, eating flowers!
Burson Fouch: Look, don't knock it 'til you try it, huh?
Sgt. Joe Fink: We just want to ask you a few questions.
Gravis Mushnik: I didn't do it.
Officer Frank Stoolie: Do what?
Gravis Mushnik: Whatever.
Leonora Clyde: What's the matter? Don't you like me?
Seymour Krelboin: Too bony.
Leonora Clyde: Too bony? Nobody's ever told me that before.
Seymour Krelboin: Beef is better than veal.
[she stands up]
Leonora Clyde: You're such a do-do! What do you call this, chopped liver?
[he pokes her side]
Seymour Krelboin: Master would like more fat.
[after pulling out one of Seymour's teeth]
Dr. Phoebus Farb: Look at that! Would you look at that, Seymour? I didn't know you were an elk!
Audry Fulquard: I wish you'd break out and tell me.
Gravis Mushnik: All right, I'll tell you tomorrow right after I am telling the police.
Sgt. Joe Fink: [voice-over] But Mushnik didn't come to the police. If he had, that might have been the finish of the unhappy story. It was not.
Gravis Mushnik: Who... I mean... what did it eat this time?
Seymour Krelboin: Uh... about a million Japanese beetles.
Gravis Mushnik: You have perhaps an explanation?
Seymour Krelboin: No, but if you give me a minute I'll think of one.
Seymour Krelboin: I'm getting pretty tired of you.
Audrey Jr.: I need food!
Seymour Krelboin: I don't care what you need. Look what you done to me, you not only made a butcher out of me but you drove my girl away.
Audrey Jr.: Shut up and bring on the food!
Audry Fulquard: [excited about the overnight growth of Audrey Jr] Isn't it empirical?
Gravis Mushnik: It grows like a cold sore from the lip.
Sgt. Joe Fink: How's the wife, Frank?
Officer Frank Stoolie: Not bad, Joe.
Sgt. Joe Fink: Glad to hear it. The kids?
Officer Frank Stoolie: Lost one yesterday.
Sgt. Joe Fink: Lost one, eh? How'd that happen?
Officer Frank Stoolie: Playing with matches.
Sgt. Joe Fink: Well, those are the breaks.
Officer Frank Stoolie: Yeah, I guess so.
Mrs. Hortense Fishtwanger: I happen to represent the Society of Silent Flower Observers of Southern California.
sign in flower shop: We don't LETTING YOU SPEND so much
Shirley: Well, we're from Cucamonga High School...
Shirley's Friend: ...and we're building a float...
Shirley: ...for the Rose Bowl Parade...
Shirley's Friend: ...which is made out of flowers...
Shirley: ...thousands of them...
Shirley's Friend: ...and we're on the commitee...
Shirley: ...that picks the florist...
Shirley's Friend: ...and then glues on the flowers.
Gravis Mushnik: Flowers, fresh as the springtime, Mushnik's.
Seymour Krelboin: Did you call me, Mr. Mushnick?
Gravis Mushnik: No, I was calling John D. Rockefeller for to make a loan on my Rolls Royce!
Seymour Krelboin: Sorry I said it.