Never So Few (1959)
Capt. Tom Reynolds: You know, the movies have got it all wrong, a cigarette tastes lousy when you're wounded.
Head Nurse: [Sternly] You get back into bed. That's an order. Get back into bed.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: One day, I'm gonna' meet a nurse who doesn't sound like a troop commander.
Head Nurse: Captain, I'm going to report you to the colonel.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Tattletale.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: I'm not sure I can even spell democracy and I don't know what the big picture even looks like but I know you've got a big mouth.
Carla Vesari: If I stay with you, Nikko, it won't be because I'm afraid of you.
Nikko Regas: In this day and age, my dear, fear is a very good basis for a relationship.
Nautaung: America a very funny place, full of prayers and money.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: This is Danny De Mortimer. He speaks English like he hated it.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [explaining a kiss from a nurse] Just a good old American salutation. You'd be surprised at some of the customs of my people.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [admiring the Himalayan landscape] Just like Indianapolis, only this goes up and down.
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: [down with cerebral malaria] I feel like an old serial. When does the train run over me?
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [tending him] Shut up.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: What would you like for Christmas?
Carla Vesari: [bored with his provincialism] A twelve-foot statue of your grandfather.
Carla Vesari: That's how I am, a lot of fun, with a heart as big as the Himalayas.
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: Whiskey! I just liberated it.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: How do you know it's not poisoned?
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: I don't, that's why I decided to share it with you.
Gen. Sloan: [Capt. Reynolds thinks he's tricked the General] I've got a couple of tricksters, real star-spangled hell-for-leather tricksters, right outside that door.
Gen. Chao: Do you wish to speak further with me on this subject?
Gen. Sloan: In the words of an old hymn, go to hell.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [while visiting at Regas' posh villa in northern India, noticing the mix of people present] Europeans, Sikhs, Chinese... Doctors, lawyers, merchants and thieves.
Carla Vesari: [Mockingly] You're a terrible poet.
Carla Vesari: Captain Reynolds, is this your first war?
Capt. Tom Reynolds: It is definitely my last.
Carla Vesari: I think you love it. Like most men, you relish war.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Miss Vesari, this may come as a shock to you, but I do not like war.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Danny, do you know anything about this guy, Regas?
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: Well... He's supposed to be in shipping, but I think he's an opium smuggler in wolf's clothing.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: What about Carla Vesari? She's quite a crock of curry.
Cpl. Bill Ringa: Excuse me for saying so, sir... but you look terrible.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Inside of my mouth tastes like the outside of a crocodile.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [Meeting with his commanding officer at Army headquarters, Calcutta] I want a doctor, Fred, and I want one right away. Or you won't have a single Kachin left.
Col. Fred Parkson: Did you fly down here just to bicker about doctors?
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Among other things. But most important, the doctor. We've only been here a few hours, but I've seen 10, 15 doctors. Where they coming from? Where they going?
Col. Fred Parkson: I'll listen to anything you gotta' say. But just who do you think you are? You and your jungle wallahs coming here, flexing your muscles. You're not the only guys fighting a backwash war.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: We're the only ones without a doctor.
Col. Fred Parkson: Find yourself an unassigned doctor, and I'll tag him for your outfit.
Col. Fred Parkson: Want you and Danny to take a holiday. Pick any rest area in the Himalayas. Take two weeks.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Holiday? No. Out of the question. I couldn't stay out of the hills for two weeks.
Col. Fred Parkson: Kachins got by for hundreds of years before you... and they'll get by long after I spit on your grave.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [while checking in at the hotel, receiving an unexpected invite from Nikko Regas] Well, we're invited to a party tonight. By Mr. Nikko Regas.
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: [Suspicious about how Regas knew they were there] And how did he know? There's something spooky about that man.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: How can you say that? He's the squarest shooter on the road to Mandalay.
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: I wish I had a copy of 'Who 's Who in India.' Or 'The Bombay Police Blotter.' I'd like to look up friend Regas.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Anybody who invites *us* to a party can't be all that bad. And let's not bite the hand that buys the booze.
Nikko Regas: [Greeting Tom and Danny at his cottage in Chandigarh] Welcome, allies.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Mr. Regas.
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: We didn't realize you were tossing a gala.
Nikko Regas: Oh, nonsense. This sort of thing goes on every night. But I want you to consider this your home in Chandigarh. Your 'foxhole away from your foxhole,' so to speak.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: You live here with Nikko?
Carla Vesari: I want to tell you something, Captain, and then perhaps you'll let me alone. I live here with Nikko. So why don't you go back to the hills and play with your popguns?
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [Upon seeing a Sadhu - a Hindu ascetic holy man - while they are visiting a shrine] Danny lived like that once.
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: For a while, but I couldn't stand it. So I came back to the world of men and their commodities. I couldn't stand that, either.
Nikko Regas: Now, let me dwell just for one moment on the American male. They're absolutely insidious, Carla. They're full of the lonesome prairie and the smell of tumbleweed. They're sincere and dedicated, and your Tom Reynolds...
Carla Vesari: Really, Nikko, he's not 'my Tom Reynolds.'
Nikko Regas: Your Tom Reynolds is no exception. A regular Abe Lincoln in North Burma. A girl like you with a sophisticated palate... is a pushover for the type.
Carla Vesari: What a terribly civilized man you are. You never lose your balance.
Carla Vesari: Tell me about when you were a kid.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Well, I was a sneak and I was satanic.
Carla Vesari: That's enough. Tell me about your grandfather.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: He was a sneak and he was satanic. He told me he could never trust a man... who claimed that he never hankered for women.
Carla Vesari: When do you think it will be over? The war, I mean.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: I don't know. It may never be over.
Carla Vesari: When it is over, what will you do back in America?
Capt. Tom Reynolds: I've never thought about it. I may never go back to America... I better stay in the jungle. It's a lot simpler there.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [Having entered Carla's bathroom, in which she is bathing in a large bathtub] Is that why you invited me in your bath?
Carla Vesari: Don't be so provincial. In Japan, men and women bathe together.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: This is not Japan, and you well know it.
Carla Vesari: [to Captain Reynolds] Your stern Midwestern morality is so refreshing.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [Parting words to Carla before heading back to the Kachins] You've taken up with a no-good G.I... who's gonna' keep you barefoot and pregnant and on the edge of town. We're gonna' be married. I'll be back. Learn to cook.
Capt. Grey Travis: [Expressing trepidation at parachuting for the first time] Maybe I should've practiced.
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: What's the sense of practicing what you can only do wrong once, doc?
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: [DeMortimer and the others have arrived in time for a Christmas banquet put together by the Kachins. Unfamiliar foods abound] A little breast of peacock, water buffalo... and the tiniest dollop of monkey brains. I'm a hairy brute with an empty stomach.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [the new doctor is nonchalantly whistling while attending the injured from the previous night's ambush on the camp] All right, doc, knock off the whistling. Nobody's interested in how medically unconcerned you are.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [Referring to the American supply detachment that is supposed to truck weapons from the Chinese border to Reynolds and his men in support of their impending raid on Ubachi airfield] That's a lousy detail. I'd rather shinny up a thorn tree with an armful of eels.
Capt. Danny De Mortimer: Tom, you're a man of gruesome courage... but moving on Ubachi without support is as sensible as a hotfoot in hell.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Nothing in this war makes sense. Why do you expect it to make sense now?
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [Being called in front of his superiors on account of the incursion into China to retaliate for the Chinese warlord's attack on the American supply detachment] I've just seen 34 American GI's with their heads blown off by Chinese troops.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [Grabs his duffel bag and theatrically dumps its contents on the table: dog tags, wallets and other personal effects of the slain American soldiers] And I wanna' know why.
Gen. Sloan: [Reacting to the pile of dog tags etc. on the table in front of him] This is sickening.
Col. Fred Parkson: Doesn't it strike you that your actions were, to say the least, unprecedented?
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Doesn't it strike you that we're fighting a rather unprecedented kind of war? Isn't that right, general?
Gen. Sloan: Well, it has its bad moments. But in the long run...
Capt. Tom Reynolds: I don't give a damn about the long run if it adds up to this! You can't deny what's been going on or what'll continue to go on unless something's done about it! I know I'm right about this. And if you don't know it, I pity you.
Capt. Alofson - Psychiatrist: Reynolds, I've got to examine you.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Okay. Mind if I smoke?
Capt. Alofson - Psychiatrist: Supposing I said I wished you wouldn't?
Capt. Tom Reynolds: If you gave me a good reason, I probably wouldn't. But seeing as how you don't outrank me, I think I will.
Capt. Alofson - Psychiatrist: [Grudgingly impressed] That's a specific, logical answer.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Thank you, doc.
Gen. Sloan: Now, may I say that I owe you a debt of gratitude. Perhaps you're not aware of the fact that I got my Medal of Honor... for disobeying orders.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: No, sir.
Gen. Sloan: I'd forgotten how fine it feels to do what you think is right... regardless of the consequences.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [Ringa has helped repel the Japanese ambush on the camp] You're pretty good with a mortar. Where'd you learn it?
Cpl. Bill Ringa: I didn't. I was just trying to find something to shoot 'em with.
Colonel Dr. Barry: I'm not running a bar for Kachins.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: Well, you feel they're below your station, Doctor? You know, your type of so-called democratic Americans burns my butt.
Head Nurse: The captain is a mental case!
Capt. Tom Reynolds: [to Ringa, after Capt. De Mortimer has been killed] I'm giving you a field commission: Second Lieutenant. You let it change your ways, and you're a damned fool.
Cpl. Bill Ringa: Yeah. A meat-headed Second Lieutenant. William Lewis Ringa, a gentleman, by act of Congress. I'm just sorry it had to happen this way. But I'll tell you one thing: I'd give you the shirt off my back.
Capt. Tom Reynolds: You already did, remember?