- Russell 'Russ' Ward: The public makes the stars. I only make the opportunity.
- Roy Morton: Corny, but quotable.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Does that wrap it up, Roy, or do you need some more?
- Roy Morton: Well, if I do, suppose I just invent it?
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Isn't that what you usually do anyway?
- Kathryn Ward: You could at least thank me for the gift.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: What gift?
- [He notices the wrapped box]
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: What time does it go off?
- Kathryn Ward: I never thought of that. Oh, maybe next anniversary.
- Kathryn Ward: Today, my former knight on a paper-mache horse, is the fourth glorious anniversary of our mutual divorce.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Oh, well. Then the day isn't a total loss.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: You're all heart, Kathryn. Last year you sent me a large hot water bottle that snored. The year before that, you published my love letters in Look Magazine. You know, I might just marry you again to stop all this nonsense.
- Kathryn Ward: Oh, my analyst wouldn't hear of it.
- Al Atwood: The money you spent gambling this year'd support all the people in Schenectady for one week.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: A man's allowed one vice.
- Al Atwood: But the way you do it, it's not a vice. It's a felony.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Whew! What have you got against fresh air?
- [He opens a hotel room window]
- Jeremiah MacDonald: Well, it's too damp. Irritates my cough.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Your cough is an illegitimate child of you and those cigarettes.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Well, you
- [cough]
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: ... you smoke.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Yeah, I drink too - as recreation. Not as a disguised form of suicide.
- Ellie Brown: You couldn't live without the theater.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: That's not the point, Miss Brown. The theater can live without me.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Ginger ale straight!
- Jeremiah MacDonald: Russ, you know what that stuff does to me. When I'm sober, I'm insulting, mean, arrogant, argumentative. You wouldn't want to keep working with a fellow like that, now would you?
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Oh, ho, ho. Yes I would.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: You know, Russ. Aside from your recklessness, there aren't many things about you I admire.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Well, good. Now we both feel the same way about me.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: [Holding up his bottle and glass] Root beer!
- Demetrios Bacos: How's that?
- Kathryn Ward: Man is trying to get off ginger ale. He's having withdrawal symptoms.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Has Mac been telling you about the play?
- Demetrios Bacos: He's been insulting me.
- Demetrios Bacos: They tell me you play tennis, golf, ride horseback. Maybe you come see my heart specialist.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: I've seen him. He looks terrible.
- Ellie Brown: Many a time I've stood hours in line to get into a Bacos theater.
- Demetrios Bacos: Now you wouldn't have so long to wait.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Business slow?
- Demetrios Bacos: Popcorn's holding up.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: Did you ever stop to think what you owe the American Indian for inventing corn?
- Kathryn Ward: [Handing Russ a drink] And I always thought you invented it, dear.
- Demetrios Bacos: I'm aware of my debt to the Indian, and I get very sentimental. When I book cowboy shows where they're shooting Indians in cold blood, I always look the other way.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: Toward the ticket booth!
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: You shouldn't be in any trouble, Demetrios, with all those movies you sold to television.
- Demetrios Bacos: For peanuts. I sold out to the enemy.
- Kathryn Ward: He doesn't believe in age. He's the only person I know who's been reincarnated while he's still alive. He'll never grow up. That's awfully hard to take in a husband.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: You wouldn't want to try it again, I suppose?
- Kathryn Ward: Never! I wouldn't go through eight years again for love or money, or both.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: Wish I could believe that.
- Kathryn Ward: Wish I could too.
- Kathryn Ward: [after the maid carries a large birthday cake with many lit candles to the table] I didn't tell anyone, darling, because I know you wouldn't want to embarrass them into bringing expensive gifts.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: Looks like the Chicago fire.
- Demetrios Bacos: [as Ellie looks quizzically at all the candles] There must be a hundred candles on it.
- Kathryn Ward: Now, Demi, don't be ridiculous. There are only 51.
- [She look at Russ]
- Kathryn Ward: Sorry, dear, that's all we had.
- Ellie Brown: [as they enter Jeremiah MacDonald's hotel room] Well, maybe he went out for breakfast or something.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: He hasn't had breakfast in 40 years.
- Ellie Brown: Oh, well, can you blame him, Russ. These reviews.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Oh, the reviews weren't bad.
- Ellie Brown: Only one man liked the play.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: He thought it was great. There was only one man who didn't like it, and he didn't like "My Fair Lady." All the other reviewers said it showed promise. They'll all think it's great once we fix it.
- Ellie Brown: Oh, there isn't time to fix it.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: I've rewritten plays on the train back to New York. What do you think tryouts are for?
- Ellie Brown: To make actresses miserable.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: So you can find out your mistakes. It's the only business in the world that gives you that chance.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Another night's over for you. You're playing pro ball now, and nobody's going to give you anything. You'll have to earn it.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Yes, I remember my first opening 22 years... El... , uh, what difference does a date make... the feeling's the same.
- Kathryn Ward: [Walking to Russ and Ellie sitting on a park bench, she sits beside them] Oh, Russ, how this tree has grown. It was only a sapling when we first came here. Perhaps I should explain, Ellie. This used to be our bench.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Do you remember? There's a curfew in Central Park for unescorted women.
- Kathryn Ward: How many first night mornings we spent here, Russ and I, holding hands and sitting on our reviews so we'd be on top of the world.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Do you think it's safe being out here alone? You might easily get stabbed.
- Kathryn Ward: In fact, Ellie, it was on this very bench, exactly where you're setting now, that Russ asked me to marry him. Actually, I asked him... I even tried to buy the bench once, imagine. City wouldn't sell it. Seems Basil Baruch used it in the daytime.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: It's a long, cold ride to Long Island. Don't you think you oughta get started... dear?
- Ellie Brown: Gord, I'm in trouble. I don't understand me.
- Gordon Reynolds: That goes for both of us.
- Ellie Brown: Is it possible to be in love with two men at the same time?
- Gordon Reynolds: Not if one of them is me, it isn't.
- Ellie Brown: Well, one of them is you, Gordon. I know it now. I should have known it long before this.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: It's been a long time since I kissed you, but...
- Kathryn Ward: Now don' start getting sentimental. I'm just here protecting my alimony.
- Ellie Brown: Thank goodness you have the kind of wisdom that only comes...
- [She pauses]
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: [Picks it up] ... with age.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: Even seeing this, I don't believe it.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: That's one of the tragedies of life - people not believing what's right in front of them.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: This is to celebrate.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: What?
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: My coming of age. Growing up. Finally reaching my real age and looking it straight in the face. Mac, would you believe it? I'm 56 years old. Every day of it.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: [Chuckling] Well, don't tell me.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: Well, I know a woman on Long Island's been waiting to hear this.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Kathryn? Yeah, most unusual girl, Mac. Rich in everything I'm poor in. She just didn't talk about love, she really loved.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: Whatever happened to your child bride?
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: [Chuckling] Well, right now she's somewhere marrying another child. Which is the way it should be. A funny thing is, she's making me happier than she'll ever make her husband.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Which reminds me. I overlooked one thing about President Cleveland.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: Uh, huh?
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Yeah, he married his 22-year-old girl all right. But he lost the next election.
- Jeremiah MacDonald: And, Russ, welcome to the club.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: [They shake hands] Yeah! The kids can have it.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Weren't you supposed to be getting married today to...
- Ellie Brown: Oh, yes. I married him an hour ago.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Then you get out of here right now.
- Ellie Brown: Oh, Russ, please. I need help.
- Ellie Brown: I thought I was heading for a two-day honeymoon. But instead, he was going all the way back to his hometown - Butte, Montana. He was kidnapping me, now... today. I want an annulment.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: Well, unfortunately, Butte, Montana is not grounds for annulment... yet.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: What right did you have to gamble my money on my play?
- Kathryn Ward: Well, I thought it was my money. At least that's what the judge said.
- Russell 'Russ' Ward: But risking it on a bad script from an alcoholic has been, on... a secretary playing her first lead, on... a producer who should have retired years ago? You were insane!
- Kathryn Ward: What a wonderful, refreshing sound. Modesty.