Ben Cartwright: You and your education.
Adam Cartwright: Education is progress! Now what have you got against it?
Ben Cartwright: I don't have anything against education - as long as it doesn't interfere with your thinking!
Ben Cartwright: Hey, Joe, do you know the difference between a table and an ottoman?
Joseph 'Little Joe' Cartwright: Sure I do.
Ben Cartwright: Then take your feet off the table!
[Hoss rolls his eyes]
Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: He'll never learn to do that.
[Hoss reluctantly agrees to serve as a temporary deputy sheriff]
Deputy Sheriff: I'll swear you in. Do you?
Eric 'Hoss' Cartwright: I do.
Deputy Sheriff: You are.