Love in the Afternoon (1957)
Ariane Chavasse: Working on a new case?
Claude Chavasse: A client from Brussels. His wife ran away to Paris with the chauffeur. I have to find them; the husband wants his car back.
Ariane Chavasse: I'm against violence. In my opinion, there's too much shooting in the world, and not enough love.
Frank Flannagan: How's that, again?
Ariane Chavasse: I mean, if people loved each other more, they'd shoot each other less!
Frank Flannagan: What does he export and what does he import?
Ariane Chavasse: Oh, he uh - he exports perfume and imports bananas. There's a fortune in it. Do you realize that for one bottle of perfume you get twelve bananas?
Frank Flannagan: Twelve bananas for one bottle of - doesn't sound like such a hot deal to me.
Ariane Chavasse: It's a tiny bottle of perfume and very large bananas.
Claude Chavasse: This is a great honor. Come right in, Mr. Flannagan.
Frank Flannagan: You know me?
Claude Chavasse: Do I know you? Does an art student know Picasso?
Claude Chavasse: [voiceover] This is the city - Paris, France. It is just like any other big city - London, New York, Tokyo - except for two little things. In Paris, people eat better. And in Paris, people make love - well, perhaps not better, but certainly more often. They do it any time, any place. On the left bank, on the right bank, and in between! They do it by day, and they do it by night. The butcher, the baker, and the friendly undertaker. They do it in motion, they do it sitting absolutely still. Poodles do it. Tourists do it. Generals do it. Once in a while even existentialists do it. There is young love, and old love. Married love, and innocent love. That is where I come in. My name is Claude Chavasse. I am what you would call a private eye.
Ariane Chavasse: Papa, you are a cynic!
Claude Chavasse: I guess I am.
Ariane Chavasse: You enjoy your work!
Claude Chavasse: I guess I do.
Ariane Chavasse: You'd enjoyed it even if you weren't paid for it!
Claude Chavasse: I wouldn't go that far.
Ariane Chavasse: You know who I am, Mr. Flannagan, I'm the girl in the afternoon.
Frank Flannagan: [on knowing about his numerous conquests] Aren't you a little too young for that?
Ariane Chavasse: I was about to ask you a similar question. Aren't you a little too old for that?
Frank Flannagan: That hurts! First you save a man's life, then you stab him. Is that kind?
Ariane Chavasse: I always tell you what I'm doing, but you never tell me what you're doing.
Claude Chavasse: Because I love you and want to protect you from the sordid stuff I must deal with.
Ariane Chavasse: I bet when Mama was alive you told her what you were doing.
Claude Chavasse: Your Mama was a married woman.
Ariane Chavasse: I'm so glad!
Ariane Chavasse: They're very odd people, you know. When they're young, they have their teeth straightened, their tonsils taken out and gallons of vitamins pumped into them. Something happens to their insides! They become immunized, mechanized, air-conditioned and hydromatic. I'm not even sure whether he has a heart.
Michel: What is he? A creature from outer space?
Ariane Chavasse: No. He's an American.
Frank Flannagan: Everything about you is perfect.
Ariane Chavasse: I'm too thin! And my ears stick out, and my teeth are crooked and my neck's much too long.
Frank Flannagan: Maybe so, but I love the way it all hangs together.
Frank Flannagan: He who loves and runs away, lives to love another day.
Claude Chavasse: [voiceover] On Monday, August 24th of this year, the case of Frank Flannagan and Ariane Chavasse came up before the superior judge in Cannes. They are now married, serving a life sentence in New York, state of New York, USA.
Monsieur X: Please, monsieur, is the news good or bad?
Claude Chavasse: That depends. Is this your wife?
[Hands over a photograph]
Monsieur X: It looks like her.
Claude Chavasse: Then I regret to inform you that it looks bad.
Monsieur X: Then there IS another man!
Claude Chavasse: There is. And I regret to say that he looks good.
Ariane Chavasse: I see nothing has changed...
Frank Flannagan: Of course not! Once you've got a winning combination, why mess around with it?
Frank Flannagan: Goodbye, thin girl.
Ariane Chavasse: Goodbye, Mr. Flannagan.
Frank Flannagan: You promised.
Ariane Chavasse: You don't have to worry about me, Mr. Flannagan. There've been so many men before. There'll be so many after this. It's gonna be another one of those crazy years. While you're in Cannes, I'll be in Brussels with the banker. He wants to give me a Mercedes Benz, a blue one, it's my favorite color. And while you're in Athens, I'll be with the duke again in Scotland. But, I don't know whether I'll go yet, because another man's asked me to spend the summer with him in Deauville. He owns race horses. He's very rich. He's number twenty. I mean number twenty one, you're number twenty. So, you see Mr. Flannagan, I'll be perfectly all right. I'll... I'll be all right... I'll be all right!
police chief: Madam, it would take all of the police and military and even the Boy Scouts to investigate these incidents. Certainly madam does not want boys in short pants breaking in on situations like this!
Ariane Chavasse: -I have my own private library.
Frank Flannagan: -What kind of a library is that?
Ariane Chavasse: -All sorts of reference works,like the World Almanac.
Frank Flannagan: -You read about me in the World Almanac?
Ariane Chavasse: -Naturally. It's very complete.It's loaded with facts and figures. Like the 10 tallest mountains,and the population of Portugal,the average annual rainfall in New Zealand...
Frank Flannagan: -What did it say about me?
Ariane Chavasse: -You're way above average, it doesn't just rain, it pours.
Claude Chavasse: You know in my profession it's like being a doctor. I have to be on call night and day. A doctor good can never rest - not until the patient is out of bed.
Frank Flannagan: I think people should always behave as though they were between planes.
Ariane Chavasse: [Calling the police to alert them about a jealous husband who has threatened to kill his unfaithful wife and her lover in the Ritz Hotel] You've got to stop him! You must send somebody up there immediately!
Commissaire de Police: [over the phone, rather indifferently] Madame, there are 7,000 hotels in Paris, 220,000 hotel rooms... and on a night like this, I'd say in about... 40,000 of those rooms, a similar situation... Now really, Madame, if we were to assign a policeman... to every one of these situations... No, Madame, it just staggers the imagination. It would take more than the entire Paris police force. It would take the fire department, the sanitation department... and possibly the Boy Scouts. Certainly, we don't want young boys in short pants... involved in situations like this.
Claude Chavasse: Will Michel bring you home?
Ariane Chavasse: I suppose so.
Claude Chavasse: He's a nice boy, Michel.
Ariane Chavasse: You keep saying that.
Claude Chavasse: He comes from a very respectable family. Father and two uncles work for the government, mother plays the harp, grandfather was a missionary in French Equatorial Africa, and there hasn't been a scandal in the family since 1822.
Ariane Chavasse: [taken aback] Papa! You investigated Michel?
Claude Chavasse: Yes, I have. I think I owe it to my only daughter.
Ariane Chavasse: You're spoiling me.
Claude Chavasse: If I were an Indian potentate I'd shower you with diamonds. If I were a cobbler, I'd sole your shoes, but... since I'm only a detective, all I can offer you is a detailed dossier.
Ariane Chavasse: Papa, I love you very much.
Claude Chavasse: I love you more.
Ariane Chavasse: He doesn't believe in love. He's above it. He considers himself invulnerable. But I think I've hit the spot.
Michel: What spot?
Ariane Chavasse: He can be jealous, and that's a very good sign.
Michel: What are you talking about?
Ariane Chavasse: They're very odd people. When they're young, they've their teeth straightened, their tonsils taken out and gallons of vitamins pumped into them. Something happens to their insides. They become immunized, mechanized, air-conditioned and hydromatic. I'm not even sure whether he has a heart.
Michel: What is he, a creature from outer space?
Ariane Chavasse: No, he's an American.
Frank Flannagan: [dictating some business notes into his recorder] Item 7: Telegram to the Mayor of Venice. Preliminary estimate on the cost of overhauling your canals is 87 million dollars. If you want my advice, drain the water out of the canals and pave them over, or those plumbing bills will kill you.
Frank Flannagan: [continues] Item 8: Attention all Pepsi-Cola bottling plants in Great Britain. Suggested slogan, "Pop in for a Pepsi"... okay by me.